Speaking of Swine Flu, it turns out the symptoms are a strong odor and extreme laziness. No wonder it went unnoticed in Mexico for so long.

Gaha!

nice

A man comes home to find his girlfriend at the front door with all of her clothes packed and ready to go.

He asks her, "Baby! What's wrong?! Where are you going?"

She says, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?!"

"Because you're a pedophile."

To which he replies, "Wow! Pedophile?! That's a really big word for a ten-year-old!"




An news interview with a victim of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans posed the question, "With so much destruction and road closures, how has everybody been managing to make it into churches?"
To which they replied, "Oh, it's fine. We just been going to Popeye's."

(you might not get that one unless you're from the South)

Once upon a time, sleepy jack, thrice, sweet_nothing and dreadnaught were walking down a dirt road. They came to a sign that said "Now Entering the Magical Forest," and in bold red letters it read "DO NOT TOUCH THE WHITE RABBIT."
They entered the forest and began to marvel at the glorious surroundings. Suddenly, they realized that sleepy jack was missing. They called for him and started to search. After a minute they found him behind a tree making out with an unbelievable ugly girl. "What is going on!" they inquired.
"I touched the White Rabbit," sleepy jack replied grimly.
They continued walking and looking around for a bit until they realized that this time thrice was missing. Fearing the worst they searched frantically crawled through the shrubbery calling for him. Soon they saw him behind a rather large shrub making out with a girl even uglier than the first. They knew, but asked anyway. "What happened?"
Thrice sighed. "I touched the White Rabbit."
The group had had enough. They began retracing their steps, trying to find an exit. Just as sleepy jack thought he spotted the dirt road to leave, he and thrice turned around to find sweet_nothing and dreadnaught making out.
"What the hell are you too doing?!?!" they exlaimed.
Dreadnaught replied, "I touched the White Rabbit."

Ba-dum tch!

pssssssssssssssst


BURN!

This is the only part I liked.

how long is an asian name?

?

My friend has caught swine flu; he's covered head to foot in rashers !!!