The Official Joke Thread

SATCHMO · 04-30-2009, 01:08 PM

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

Terrible Lizard · 04-30-2009, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SATCHMO

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

I marvel at the genius of it.

NSW · 05-01-2009, 07:34 AM

It was once said that a black man would be president "when pigs fly". Indeed, 100 days into Obama's presidency.....swine flu.

teehee

~~coryallen2~~ · 05-01-2009, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonsubmissivewife

It was once said that a black man would be president "when pigs fly". Indeed, 100 days into Obama's presidency.....swine flu.

teehee

LOL put a little smile on my face.

Zachary Lewis · 05-01-2009, 08:07 AM

Speaking of Swine Flu, it turns out the symptoms are a strong odor and extreme laziness. No wonder it went unnoticed in Mexico for so long.

~~coryallen2~~ · 05-01-2009, 08:08 AM

Gaha!

ElephantSack · 05-06-2009, 09:26 PM

A man comes home to find his girlfriend at the front door with all of her clothes packed and ready to go.

He asks her, "Baby! What's wrong?! Where are you going?"

She says, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?!"

"Because you're a pedophile."

To which he replies, "Wow! Pedophile?! That's a really big word for a ten-year-old!"

An news interview with a victim of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans posed the question, "With so much destruction and road closures, how has everybody been managing to make it into churches?"
To which they replied, "Oh, it's fine. We just been going to Popeye's."

(you might not get that one unless you're from the South)

WWWP · 05-07-2009, 05:03 PM

Once upon a time, sleepy jack, thrice, sweet_nothing and dreadnaught were walking down a dirt road. They came to a sign that said "Now Entering the Magical Forest," and in bold red letters it read "DO NOT TOUCH THE WHITE RABBIT."
They entered the forest and began to marvel at the glorious surroundings. Suddenly, they realized that sleepy jack was missing. They called for him and started to search. After a minute they found him behind a tree making out with an unbelievable ugly girl. "What is going on!" they inquired.
"I touched the White Rabbit," sleepy jack replied grimly.
They continued walking and looking around for a bit until they realized that this time thrice was missing. Fearing the worst they searched frantically crawled through the shrubbery calling for him. Soon they saw him behind a rather large shrub making out with a girl even uglier than the first. They knew, but asked anyway. "What happened?"
Thrice sighed. "I touched the White Rabbit."
The group had had enough. They began retracing their steps, trying to find an exit. Just as sleepy jack thought he spotted the dirt road to leave, he and thrice turned around to find sweet_nothing and dreadnaught making out.
"What the hell are you too doing?!?!" they exlaimed.
Dreadnaught replied, "I touched the White Rabbit."

Ba-dum tch!

Antonio · 05-07-2009, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

Once upon a time, sleepy jack, thrice, sweet_nothing and dreadnaught were walking down a dirt road. They came to a sign that said "Now Entering the Magical Forest," and in bold red letters it read "DO NOT TOUCH THE WHITE RABBIT."
They entered the forest and began to marvel at the glorious surroundings. Suddenly, they realized that sleepy jack was missing. They called for him and started to search. After a minute they found him behind a tree making out with an unbelievable ugly girl. "What is going on!" they inquired.
"I touched the White Rabbit," sleepy jack replied grimly.
They continued walking and looking around for a bit until they realized that this time thrice was missing. Fearing the worst they searched frantically crawled through the shrubbery calling for him. Soon they saw him behind a rather large shrub making out with a girl even uglier than the first. They knew, but asked anyway. "What happened?"
Thrice sighed. "I touched the White Rabbit."
The group had had enough. They began retracing their steps, trying to find an exit. Just as sleepy jack thought he spotted the dirt road to leave, he and thrice turned around to find sweet_nothing and dreadnaught making out.
"What the hell are you too doing?!?!" they exlaimed.
Dreadnaught replied, "I touched the White Rabbit."

Ba-dum tch!

pssssssssssssssst

BURN!

sweet_nothing · 05-07-2009, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolverinewolfweiselpigeon

thrice turned around to find sweet_nothing and dreadnaught making out.

This is the only part I liked.

05-01-2009, 07:34 AM	#3 (permalink)
NSW Bigger and Better Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Texas girl living in the UK Posts: 2,596	It was once said that a black man would be president "when pigs fly". Indeed, 100 days into Obama's presidency.....swine flu. teehee __________________ Hi.

04-30-2009, 01:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
SATCHMO Al Dente Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,847	Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids. The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain. The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied: "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

05-01-2009, 08:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
Zachary Lewis Groupie Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 10	Speaking of Swine Flu, it turns out the symptoms are a strong odor and extreme laziness. No wonder it went unnoticed in Mexico for so long.

05-01-2009, 08:08 AM	#6 (permalink)
~~coryallen2~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: lorain,ohio Posts: 909	Gaha!

05-06-2009, 09:26 PM	#7 (permalink)
ElephantSack Man vs. Wild Turkey Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: ATX Posts: 948	A man comes home to find his girlfriend at the front door with all of her clothes packed and ready to go. He asks her, "Baby! What's wrong?! Where are you going?" She says, "I'm leaving you." "But why?!" "Because you're a pedophile." To which he replies, "Wow! Pedophile?! That's a really big word for a ten-year-old!" An news interview with a victim of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans posed the question, "With so much destruction and road closures, how has everybody been managing to make it into churches?" To which they replied, "Oh, it's fine. We just been going to Popeye's." (you might not get that one unless you're from the South)