The Official Joke Thread

Whatsitoosit · 04-02-2009, 01:43 PM

if by "old" you mean "never funny", yeah I agree. I have a pretty crude sense of humor and these just always seemed idiotic to me... oh well, maybe I am getting old as well.

Terrible Lizard · 04-02-2009, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whatsitoosit

if by "old" you mean "never funny", yeah I agree. I have a pretty crude sense of humor and these just always seemed idiotic to me... oh well, maybe I am getting old as well.

Dumb was the point, don't be an ass about it.

Freebase Dali · 04-02-2009, 06:06 PM

So a blind man walks into a bar....

/fail.

SATCHMO · 04-03-2009, 07:21 AM

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly ...

She says to the mortician , 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. . . . . . . ...

So I just switched the heads.'

~~coryallen2~~ · 04-03-2009, 07:22 AM

^lol

(this thread is more succesful than i thought it would be)

Whatsitoosit · 04-03-2009, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terrible Lizard

Dumb was the point, don't be an ass about it.

I thought funny was the point? don't be dumb about it.

Terrible Lizard · 04-03-2009, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whatsitoosit

I thought funny was the point? don't be dumb about it.

Aaaah go **** a sewer gator.

FaSho · 04-04-2009, 03:27 PM

That was a good one TL!

**Janszoon** · 04-04-2009, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SATCHMO

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit...

~~CAPTAIN CAVEMAN~~ · 04-04-2009, 04:18 PM

what did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

see you next month...

04-02-2009, 01:43 PM	#101 (permalink)
Whatsitoosit Bringer of Carrots Join Date: May 2008 Location: New York, NY Posts: 648	if by "old" you mean "never funny", yeah I agree. I have a pretty crude sense of humor and these just always seemed idiotic to me... oh well, maybe I am getting old as well. __________________ "It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face."

04-02-2009, 06:06 PM	#103 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	So a blind man walks into a bar.... /fail. __________________

04-03-2009, 07:21 AM	#104 (permalink)
SATCHMO Al Dente Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,708	A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.' The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly ... She says to the mortician , 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. 'There's no charge,' she says. 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says. 'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. . . . . . . ... So I just switched the heads.'

04-03-2009, 07:22 AM	#105 (permalink)
~~coryallen2~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: lorain,ohio Posts: 909	^lol (this thread is more succesful than i thought it would be)

04-04-2009, 04:18 PM	#110 (permalink)
~~CAPTAIN CAVEMAN~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: VAN Posts: 2,530	what did one lesbian vampire say to the other? see you next month...