NumberNine, your list made me think of a lot of questions and comments for you:
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Originally Posted by NumberNineDream
04- The last time I wore a dress, I was 3 years old, and had a tentrum, refusing to go out of my room after my mum forced me into one.
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I relate to that somewhat. I never cared to wear dresses from around 2nd grade on, though I did wear some to school dances. I liked wearing shorts and my favorite shirt with a tiger on it...or one with seagulls. Do you dislike dresses because you associate them with weakness and vulnerability...or simply because you see them "costumes" rather than just functional clothing?
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12- At school, I used to attend only 2 days a week, still was able to be the first in class.
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Why could you only attend 2 days a week?
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13- I hate shopping. I only went 5 times in my lifetime. I just wear what my mum and aunts get me.
14- I have been wearing black for more than 2 years now. Never wore a jeans in these last 2 years.
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So are your mum and aunts always buying you black clothes and why?
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15- I don't think I'll ever have any kids, cause I know I'll ruin their lives.
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You might surprise yourself. When you're older you really may feel completely differently and realize that the tough times of youthful introspection helped you understand yourself enough to take great care with another person.
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16- I only can hug people when I'm drunk. I guess that's why I try to get drunk as much as I can. The only times I don't feel awkward around people.
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Hmm. This is interesting, Number9. Have you tried intentionally fighting the awkwardness by hugging people when you are not drunk? The more you do something, the easier it is supposed to get.
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17- I don't know a thing about music, but my friends look at me as some kind of connoisseur. I'm even the first one to hear their work. Sometimes, I just feel like a hypocrite around them.
I spend 10 minutes the second I get in my car, deciding which album I want to hear on the road.
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You sound like a connoisseur, despite what you say about yourself. When I'm in the car I just turn on the radio...but actually, I usually don't even do that, because I dislike most of the music played!
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22- I've been smoking for a year now. Mainly Lucky Strikes.
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Smoking. What caused you to start? What might inspire you to quit?
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25- Though I'm in a film-making school, I still haven't made any movies. As I've been avoiding all classes related with film-making, in fear of realising I'm a bad director.
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You have fear of failure and thus a fear of trying. This is very common. Remember, it really doesn't matter if someone thinks you are a bad director. First of all, there are lots of directors whom people think are bad. Second of all, nothing has to be "perfect." What is "perfect" anyway? Also, if everyone comes into film-making school knowing how to make "good" movies, then there really wouldn't be a point to having a film school at all. So, I assume people there expect movies to start off kind of rough.
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Originally Posted by NumberNineDream
I never even dated or "spoke" or "saw" someone. To my friends, I'm just asexual lol.
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This is one of the first things I remember about you, Number9, after you joined MB...that you see yourself as asexual. I felt an instant affinity for you since I mostly feel gender neutral.
You say your friends see you as asexual. By asexual do you mean gender neutral OR do you mean having no sexual feelings? My guess is someone you know personally views you as a sexual being!
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