Schizotypic

Well to be blunt for me I'm just really good at intellectualizing emotion. Human emotions are to me like a really soft science, and having a good hold on understanding emotion I of course want myself to be empathetic and understanding. Usually I try my best to sincerely look at how others feel, but it isn't easy. Like somehow I'm running from my own emotions, like I am dissociated from them somehow. Which wouldn't surprise me, I've spent a good deal of my life running from emotion and ended-up rotating around people, relationships, drugs, thrills, distraction, certain styles of thinking, the list goes on at infinitum!

It's hard to explain, because I do feel. In fact I operate mostly in intensity, a habit which I am currently succeeding (in baby steps) at breaking. Also I've been through some heavy emotion before... but recently I feel more disconnected I guess. Maybe a bit apathetic like you described.

On the other hand I also have a nasty habit on thinking I'm having problems I don't, in fact I spent a good half of my young life looking for what disorders I had so i could fix myself! So maybe I'm just talking out of my ass about some weird trip I'm going on which has no grounding in reality what-so-ever. Yeah I'm sort of a space-cadet.

In any case, what are we supposed to even think or feel most of the time? Who says what normal is, are we as humans expected to feel empathy for everything which happens to others or is that just society's idea of right vs wrong? Honestly if I spent the time it takes to think about pointless stuff like this doing homework I probably would be a much more happy person!

I can relate to what you were saying, but if I were you I wouldn't worry about anything that isn't obviously affecting your life. If it isn't as noticeable as having a flu I wouldn't pay attention to it. As for me, I'm probably just going through some transitional period in my life and am feeling a bit "off".