Freebase Dali

I'm going to do this again. For you readers, it's going to be like getting raped twice. Don't expect it to be any different than the first time, or any less horrible.


1. I love kittens so much, I want to squeeze them to death. What a mindfuck for me.
2. I'm so artistically ignorant, the only surrealist painter I know of by name is Salvador Dali.
3. I have a love/hate relationship with zombies. They're my fave, but they scare me the most. It's why I love them, and why I hate them.
4. I find a girl more attractive with less makeup. Natural beauty is intensely affecting with me.
5. I love kids, and I want no less than two, eventually.
6. I drive the speed limit even when there are no cops around.
7. I've never gotten a speeding ticket before. (Der dedeerrrrr!)
8. I can cook something fierce. I consider it an evolutionary process, since women have lately been Destiny's Child-ing into new uncharted territories of not cooking. Ever.
9. My favorite color is gray. It has less to do with some childish relevance to sadness than it does to the fact that it matches with practically everything but brown. Which, incidentally, is my other favorite color.
10. I've recently decided that I don't like Mogwai. I'm pretty happy with that decision.
11. I drink no less than a gallon of water daily.
12. I think people who **** over SkullCandy headphones are tools.
13. I hate the military, but it has probably been the best thing that ever happened to me considering where I was in life prior to joining. But thank god I'm out. Good things are never tolerable beyond a point.
14. My parents met at an orgy in the late 60's.
15. They ran away together and lived in the woods until my mom became pregnant with my oldest sister.
16. I value being alone more than I value companionship, but it's a back and forth thing.
17. When I was a kid, I had an imaginary wife. Once, I went in the yard and intentionally got stung by a bee so she could console me. (Didn't work. That bitch)
18. I used to sleep-walk until I was 13 years old. Almost got killed in the highway doing that, and also peed in the refrigerator doing that.
19. I technically died when I was a kid due to accidental inhalation of toxic fumes absent of ventilation.
20. THERE WAS NO WHITE LIGHT. Only drying vomit. After I was resuscitated, there was more vomit.
21. I'm so agnostic it could be a belief system.
22. I've never cried when people close to me have died. I feel the loss, but I don't express it in tears. The last thing I cried about was a girl not wanting to go out with me when I was 11. I'm extremely uncomfortable around people who are crying.
23. My dad is donating his body to science when he dies. It will probably be the only worthwhile thing he's ever done in his life.
24. My mom wants to be cremated. She doesn't even want to be around for her own funeral.
25. Since being back in the U.S... I constantly worry about which one of my parents I'm going to have to see die first. Both of them are pushing it. It's inevitable, but I really don't want to be here for it. I don't want to have to deal with it because I know it's going to derail me in some way. I guess I gotta man up and just understand that it happens to everyone and there's no way around it.. I'm just not looking forward to it, that's all. No matter the differences I have with them, I'm not waiting to bury them.

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