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Old 02-22-2010, 04:47 PM   #491 (permalink)
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NumberNine, your list made me think of a lot of questions and comments for you:

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04- The last time I wore a dress, I was 3 years old, and had a tentrum, refusing to go out of my room after my mum forced me into one.
I relate to that somewhat. I never cared to wear dresses from around 2nd grade on, though I did wear some to school dances. I liked wearing shorts and my favorite shirt with a tiger on it...or one with seagulls. Do you dislike dresses because you associate them with weakness and vulnerability...or simply because you see them "costumes" rather than just functional clothing?

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12- At school, I used to attend only 2 days a week, still was able to be the first in class.
Why could you only attend 2 days a week?

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13- I hate shopping. I only went 5 times in my lifetime. I just wear what my mum and aunts get me.
14- I have been wearing black for more than 2 years now. Never wore a jeans in these last 2 years.
So are your mum and aunts always buying you black clothes and why?

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15- I don't think I'll ever have any kids, cause I know I'll ruin their lives.
You might surprise yourself. When you're older you really may feel completely differently and realize that the tough times of youthful introspection helped you understand yourself enough to take great care with another person.

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16- I only can hug people when I'm drunk. I guess that's why I try to get drunk as much as I can. The only times I don't feel awkward around people.
Hmm. This is interesting, Number9. Have you tried intentionally fighting the awkwardness by hugging people when you are not drunk? The more you do something, the easier it is supposed to get.

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17- I don't know a thing about music, but my friends look at me as some kind of connoisseur. I'm even the first one to hear their work. Sometimes, I just feel like a hypocrite around them.

I spend 10 minutes the second I get in my car, deciding which album I want to hear on the road.
You sound like a connoisseur, despite what you say about yourself. When I'm in the car I just turn on the radio...but actually, I usually don't even do that, because I dislike most of the music played!

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22- I've been smoking for a year now. Mainly Lucky Strikes.
Smoking. What caused you to start? What might inspire you to quit?

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25- Though I'm in a film-making school, I still haven't made any movies. As I've been avoiding all classes related with film-making, in fear of realising I'm a bad director.
You have fear of failure and thus a fear of trying. This is very common. Remember, it really doesn't matter if someone thinks you are a bad director. First of all, there are lots of directors whom people think are bad. Second of all, nothing has to be "perfect." What is "perfect" anyway? Also, if everyone comes into film-making school knowing how to make "good" movies, then there really wouldn't be a point to having a film school at all. So, I assume people there expect movies to start off kind of rough.

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I never even dated or "spoke" or "saw" someone. To my friends, I'm just asexual lol.
This is one of the first things I remember about you, Number9, after you joined MB...that you see yourself as asexual. I felt an instant affinity for you since I mostly feel gender neutral.

You say your friends see you as asexual. By asexual do you mean gender neutral OR do you mean having no sexual feelings? My guess is someone you know personally views you as a sexual being!
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Old 02-22-2010, 04:56 PM   #492 (permalink)
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Jesus, Angelica! This was supposed to be fun. You've dissected her entire life. This is the first time I've become annoyed with you.
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Old 02-22-2010, 05:10 PM   #493 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
NumberNine, your list made me think of a lot of questions and comments for you:
I'll do my best to answer

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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
I relate to that somewhat. I never cared to wear dresses from around 2nd grade on, though I did wear some to school dances. I liked wearing shorts and my favorite shirt with a tiger on it...or one with seagulls. Do you dislike dresses because you associate them with weakness and vulnerability...or simply because you see them "costumes" rather than just functional clothing?
It makes me feel vulnerable, like I'm exposed. I feel a need to hide myself. I hate being the person that is attracting the attention.
I feel the same way when wearing light colours, that's why I only wear black.

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Why could you only attend 2 days a week?
It was just too boring, and sometimes plainly offensive. I kept correcting the teachers, and they kept stuttering.
The last confrontation I remember in school, was when our Philosophy teacher, was telling us that animal lives have no meaning to humans. He felt that if a dog is in danger, no human will care if he dies. So, that was one of those offensive moments.
Plus, a Catholic School is not the greatest place to be, for an Atheist.

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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
So are your mum and aunts always buying you black clothes and why?
They used to buy me all colours, but I only used to wear the black items. So now, they mostly buy me black clothes.

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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
You might surprise yourself. When you're older you really may feel completely differently and realize that the tough times of youthful introspection helped you understand yourself enough to take great care with another person.
I might...

Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
Hmm. This is interesting, Number9. Have you tried intentionally fighting the awkwardness by hugging people when you are not drunk? The more you do something, the easier it is supposed to get.
Well people do hug me, so I just try to "hug" them back. I don't think I'm doing it right.

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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
You sound like a connoisseur, despite what you say about yourself. When I'm in the car I just turn on the radio...but actually, I usually don't even do that, because I dislike most of the music played!
I'm just picky.

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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
Smoking. What caused you to start? What might inspire you to quit?
It just gives me a buzz, instead of getting drunk between classes.
I don't have to smoke, as sometimes I just stop for 2 weeks, just cause I don't feel like it. So I don't think there is any kind of "quitting" involved. I just have my phases. It used to be books and hookahs, then movies , now it's music and ciggies. Will see what'll happen next year.

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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
You have fear of failure and thus a fear of trying. This is very common. Remember, it really doesn't matter if someone thinks you are a bad director. First of all, there are lots of directors whom people think are bad. Second of all, nothing has to be "perfect." What is "perfect" anyway? Also, if everyone comes into film-making school knowing how to make "good" movies, then there really wouldn't be a point to having a film school at all. So, I assume people there expect movies to start off kind of rough.
I don't care what other people think. I'm scared that I realise myself, that I'm one of the bad directors.

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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
This is one of the first things I remember about you, Number9, after you joined MB...that you see yourself as asexual. I felt an instant affinity for you since I mostly feel gender neutral.

You say your friends see you as asexual. By asexual do you mean gender neutral OR do you mean having no sexual feelings? My guess is someone you know personally views you as a sexual being!
I'm gender neutral, but my friends feel I'm asexual.
Though, I'm not far from being asexual. It also comes in phases.
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Old 02-22-2010, 05:14 PM   #494 (permalink)
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I'd love to give you one of my hugs. I've been told they're good. Only thing is... Large heigh differences cause awkward hugs, I can't hug small people. So you'd have to like, stand up a kerb or something before I gave you one.
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 02-22-2010, 05:19 PM   #495 (permalink)
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I'd love to give you one of my hugs. I've been told they're good. Only thing is... Large heigh differences cause awkward hugs, I can't hug small people. So you'd have to like, stand up a kerb or something before I gave you one.
lol, another problem that adds to the awkwardness.
Though my short height, is one of the main hugging attractions. They all feel that I'm a little baby that should be hugged and have its cheeks squeezed.
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Old 02-22-2010, 05:21 PM   #496 (permalink)
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Haha I wouldn't squeeze your cheeks, that's somewhat belittling you. Although I would want to pick you up and put you in my pocket forevermore. I wouldn't do it 'cause of your height!
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i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 02-22-2010, 05:47 PM   #497 (permalink)
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^There's surely no belittling there, inside the Scottish pocket.

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Jesus, Angelica! This was supposed to be fun. You've dissected her entire life. This is the first time I've become annoyed with you.
Bah, no worries.
It's a relief to talk about these things, not really the kind of subjects I usually open myself.
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Old 02-22-2010, 11:34 PM   #498 (permalink)
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I'd love to give you one of my hugs. I've been told they're good. Only thing is... Large heigh differences cause awkward hugs, I can't hug small people. So you'd have to like, stand up a kerb or something before I gave you one.
I expect a really good kayy hug then, when I come visit.
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Old 02-22-2010, 11:47 PM   #499 (permalink)
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How tall are you Kay, and Numbernine, I guess I just felt like she was picking at yo brain. And what a beautiful brain I think it is.
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Old 02-22-2010, 11:51 PM   #500 (permalink)
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She's 5'11"
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