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Old 05-04-2015, 12:31 PM   #24 (permalink)
Zum Henker Defätist!!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpe Mortem View Post
All mine were really boring by people obviously in love with an Emily, but here's a decent gem:


An Emily, is one who rides unicorns. All Emily's have the magic talent to ride a unicorn anywhere they want. Normally the unicorn is pink, but sometimes can be other colors, like dark pink. If you see an Emily, make sure you bring up the topic about unicorns, and watch as she she goes on and on about them. Unicorns are very special to Emily's and it's easy to know what to get an Emily for her birthday!


Danielle: Look, it's a girl riding a unicorn way up in the sky!

Jenny: Oh, it must be an Emily! Look at her go!
Here's one for you:

Emily

A crazy ****ing bitch who I'd love to party with, but would be terrified of meeting in a dark alley when she was high on crystal meth, or holding a ceremonial dagger at a Satanic rite. What I would be doing at a Satanic rite is really none of your business, but nobody would even question Emily's involvement. It was probably her idea in the first place.

Dude, Emily got so wasted at the part last night and started doing the Macarena on a coffee table. #epic

Oh my god! Please don't kill me, Emily! I've got kids!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goofle View Post
Tom

the man responsbile for the monstrosity known as "myspace", owner and operator of said site, and consequently the man blamed every time myspace is down.
"god damnit! myspace shit the bed again. fuck you tom!"
**** you, Tom! I was all stoked when I got my first friend request on Myspace, then come to find out that it's just a meaningless, mass message sent to everybody who joins the site. You ****ing hurt me, and I'll never forgive you.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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