simplephysics

I am so bored.

I'm a very affectionate and honest drunk. And I slur my words together like nonother.

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one font under god

Urban Hat€monger ?

I remember having a long drawn out conversation with my best mate where he did nothing but tell me about what a great pair of tits his girlfriend had.
Which would have been fine had she not been sitting right next to him at the time.He even told me he had pet names for them.

To this day everytime I see her the words Pinky & Perky enter into my head.

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MURDER JUNKIE

I have barfights down to a science so I will fill you in on my defence mechanism. I discovered a long time ago that I really dislike being punched in the face so I adapted this easy mode of defence, when I see someone balling up their fist and getting ready to do the MAN DANCE I simply extend my pointer finger in the erect position. When I see the fist hurtling toward me I simply move aside and direct my peter pointer projectile directly into their eye which immediately forces both eyes closed, I then use this opportunity to run as I have found that I can run faster scared than most people can angry.

My brother is a mouthy bastard at bars and I have been forced to utilize this numerous times in his defence, I put him through a Karate Kid style training regiment for this technique because I can't be driving across town just to poke someone in the eye for him. My fingers are lethal weapons and have a 100% success ratio due to the fact that I am also fast, I believe I have used this tactic over 30 times.

right-track

I remember that, the cause of a sleepless night.
Classic.

who or what is GINA?


MJ...try the Salford kiss.

Mr Sensitive

Heh I think I was trying to spell "AGAIN" but as you can see my attempt was abysmal.

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MURDER JUNKIE

Is that a variation of the glasgow kiss??

A headbutt followed up by a punch in the balls??

right-track

Yep...that's the one, although in L*******l it's known as a Kirby Kiss.

No...that would be gay.

I hate that feeling the next morning, the one when memories of the night before slowly reveal themselves.
Although, I always seem to be aware of what I'm doing at the time, unlike a mate of mine, who has a habit of pissing in his wardrobe during the night

[MERIT]

i really dont consider myself "drunk" until i pass out, but i generally am pretty happy-go-lucky. i hit on pretty much every chick in sight. but ive also been known to fight a nigga or two. um um bitch!

MoonlitSunshine

I have never been drunk, so I have no idea

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"I found it eventually, at the bottom of a locker in a disused laboratory, with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard". Ever thought of going into Advertising?"

- Arthur Dent

Merkaba

I've jumped in rose bushes while under the influence. Didn't feel a thing

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She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker