I am what is known in the world of drunks as a:

PROFESSIONAL
characteristics include:

1) Can successfully say the filthiest things to women without them being offended

2) Can hold down a fairly effective discussion without letting it veer off and becoming one of those deep nonsense drunk conversations

3) Can make the ladies laugh (this is a very desirable quality for a drunk)

4) I can play quarters like a mofo, I have been undefeated for 8 years

5) The ladies want to bed me, the dudes want to hang out with me

Me and a friend got drunk on the ferry back from the tweeter and got tossed overboard.

I was drinking a couple of captain morgans at a party and I guess I passed out but when I woke up I was in a chair dancing. The worst hangover ever resulted from that incident.

I went to see dave matthews band and got drunk. I wasn't too drunk but as my friend was pulling out of the parking space I thought I saw my head out the window so i opened the door to try and get it. (yes. i have done some rather retarded things)

i was talking to this guy and i fell asleep. when i woke up he was naked and dancing on a table.
(i think i was also high that night)

me and my softball team had made it to states championships a few years ago and we all went to this frat party and I remember drinking and me and the next thing i remember is me and my friend ontop some table taking off our clothes and dancing to some song by green day.

it was my 14th birthday and we hired a dj for the event. I fell so in love with him and i drank thinking a little drunk i'd have the guts to tell him how great he was. so i drank like a camel and i guess he realized i was more or less drunk and when i started to sober up it felt like my heart was breaking. Worse hangover ever.

i was at a sorrority party and drank a lot. i woke up and someone was giving me a lap dance.

a few years ago like two days after christmas me and some guys went to this party and I was talking to this guy and had been for the majority of the night. i was working on my sixth vodka and fruit juice mix when i realize he looked like he was sick. I asked him if he was ok and before i finished i threw up on his shoes.

i was at some party for one of my school's teams and we were all getting wasted and high and someone was playing some really great music. and there was this guy there that i liked. i got drunk and next thing i know i'm in a line up to dance on a table. It's scary cause i made like 25 bucks that night.

. . . . . . .
imagine if we had a thread where we talked about our experiences being high. :laughing:

I can't seem to keep my clothes on, i should be banned from a good few places by now but heh...maybe i'm charming too, i'm also a complete idiot and usually say or do something i'm going to regret the next day, but i'm sort of one of these lovable drunken idiots i suppose because i'm always forgiven :)

I'm just a rampant drunk.. I'll go for anything almost, even the men. It's odd and confusing, but I'm always the happiest there, so that's good enough for me :).

when i get drunk i like to play a little game called "how many punches in the face can i take"...........come to think of it, i think my friends like to play it a little more than i do lol

I'm a Jimmy Buffet kind of drunk.

im currently a non-drunk. gave it up:D

If I am drunk and the music is on, the dancing starts and never stops. Thinking about it, I tend to be like that when sober, so in a way alcohol doesn't have much effect on me except for disturbing my physical equilbrium.

I did the tango* with a girl in the middle of the otherwise empty dancefloor at the academy rock club the other night. For 15 minutes, with the long-haired rock kids looking on in utter confusion. That was a good one. The best bit was whenever I leant her backwards, she'd start screaming her head off, and would then go normal again when she was back to upright.


*not a euphemism.

It all depends on what i drink.

beer - the "one eyebrow down at your chin and one up at your forehead" drunk who believes walking involves criss-crossing your legs.

spirits - a happy drunk who would even laugh if you told me my mother had died.

WHISKY - Depths of despair drunk.

when im drunk i would kind of describe myself as being a pillock, im not violent or depressed or anything, id be quite happy just sitting there smiling and talking and then im the nubbin of the group who will take on stupid bets and think that its a good idea to try and jump on the back of a truck while its moving on my way home.

alcohol + me = hospital.

I've more or less stopped drinking as heavily as I used to.

And It's a requirement that my boyfriend isn't a heavy drinker because a lot of alcoholics have problems getting it up.

I am the drunk who loves everyone, kisses everyone, buys everyone drinks and goes home with the first person who asks me to. I have also been known to start fights with random people..especially men...I have also been known to be the drunk that gets naughty pictures of me taken then posted on the net for blackmail...I have also been the drunk to talk your ear off about how good I am in bed, how my childhood sucked or how beautiful nature is. I have been taped plotting the presidents assination, I have been found sitting in someone elses car...I am more fun the a barrel full of monkey's.

Proof :love:

They used to be on myspace..but have since been removed..Thank whoever is in charge of my karma pile.

i'm happy talkative, stumbly sleep type drunk(when i ever get drunk

and even though i'm not asian i get the red glow blush like look over my cheaks and nose, and i get very giddy and bubbly...
and i giggle alot

I used to be a very angry and confrontational drunk (imagine that). But im off the sauce for good now.

I used to go home with guys like you.

Too bad for you:laughing:

Yeah thats why I dont do it anymore.

I've been known to jump fences of motels and get into hot tubs (not turned on, unfortunately) on a whim, which generally means I dont have a swimsuit on. I've jumped onto a stage in a bar with a friend while a live band was playing, stolen the mic from the singer and attempted to sing his band's original song that we'd never heard. Thankfully the band thought it was hilarious and weren't pissed off. There have been a few incidences of table dancing, and for some unknown reason I tend to overestimate my climbing skills quite drastically, which has resulted in being stranded on the roof of my house and not having a clue how to get myself down.

I've been told I'm an entertaining drunk

I did that once. I also thought it was practical to stick my head underwater to sober up. Thought the heat would help my condition. Forgot that breathing was a necessity though. haha.

post pics.

haha, no pictures of that. and before you ask, no i was not naked, I just had soaking wet underwear for the rest of the night.

Between christmas and new years I guess I was something of an angry drunk.
basically yelled a lot, passed out, and then woke up with an amazingly horrible headache.
that and I developed a slight speech impairment. . . .

-
 

I am not drunk
It's true

I am so bored.

I'm a very affectionate and honest drunk. And I slur my words together like nonother.

Hmmm...once, a friend and me went to the San Antonio Riverwalk and bar hopped from our hotel, all the way to Coyote Ugly, which was quite away away. On the way there, had 2 margaritas and a few beers. Then, once we got to Coyote Ugly, we proceeded to have between us 2 jager bombs, 8 shots of Patron, 8 of something with Malibu rum with in it, and 2 shots of Captain Morgan. Then we got on the bar with the bartenders and started dancing. Except I was so wasted, the bouncer had to help me onto the bar, where I hip bumped my friend and almost sent her sailing. On the way back to the hotel, my friend decided to walk on the Riverwalk side of the walkway so I wouldn't fall in (she's hardcore, girl didn't even hurl later!). We passed a cop on the way back to the hotel, and I said very loudly to my friend that we'd better walk straight or else we might get arrested for public intoxication. Way to go brain child. Thankfully, he had mercy and we walked the rest of the way back to the hotel where I proceeded to puke myself inside out.

Good times!

My best mate was pushing me home in a shopping trolley and we were stopped by the filth who then asked if I was disabled. I retorted with the fact that if I was disabled it's a pretty crap wheelchair. They managed to see the funny side.


Again best mate and I had a few and decided to run all the way home with shirts off. Fairly unremarkable until you find out it was the middle of winter and it was a two mile hike.

A favourite of ours is to play chess when we get home after a night on the lash. Again unremarkable, until you hear that my chess set is also a drinking game that is comprised of shot glasses with the pieces emblazoned on the side. Yes you have to drink the shot if they take your piece. Fairly smashed to say the least.

About 8 of us starting to do the usual macho arm wrestling gig and proceeded to break a table.

I don't chat women up when i'm drunk, I am not a confident lad really but I sometimes drunken text and then realise i have sent a load of crap messages the next morning.

Knocked myself out against a caravan, after puking bright red vomit. Everyone thought i was dying apparantly.
Mooned a few people, naturally.
Sprinting down a street knocking on every door on the way.
Punched a waiter in the face. (Accidentaly)
Woke up at a completely different house party to the one i started at.
Many. Horrible. Women.

Yeah, i'm a bit of an arse when drunk.

Me at my worst was when, while already fairly drunk, decided to down half a pint of rum with added Chili powder. As you can imagine that burns like hell, so i downed a pint of cold milk to neutralise it. Much throwing up ensued.

I woke up in someone's bathtub after a party one painful morning. I went downstairs to his family having breakfast. :(

what were they having?

Food was the very least of my worries.

Food after a night of drinking is the worst conceviable thing in my eyes. I have horrible hangovers.

Ooo, i forgot my drunken Moz impressions, infamous for crimes against music and smashed bouquets of flowers everywhere.

Reading back, i looks like a lot of MB ladies like getting naked. Brilliant.

what did his parents do?

I wouldn't know. I didn't stick around to have myself some toast or anything.

so you just bolted?

Essentially, yes.

..More so out of embarrassment and the awkwardness of the situation than anything else.
Still being a tad inbriated may have had something to do with my actions as well.

oh well i hope you learned a lesson.....never turn down a free breakfest

Well this was years ago but here it goes.... (ill make along story short)

I was 16ish? and was walking home from a friends house at about 3am completely trashed with a backpack full of beer. I was about 100 feet away from my house (up a small hill) and fell down on the side of the road. I was really comfortable, and had to pee, so i went in this persons yard while lying down Then i managed to fall asleep on the side of the road with the backpack of beer, and wake up 3 hours later only to be greeted by the bright sun. Needless to say i was lucky to not have been seen, and continued to walk back into my house and get some real sleep.