offensive jokes *giggles* (house, The Police, Europe, Micheal Jackson, member)

sleepy jack · 10-21-2005, 10:18 PM

what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

Her dad accidentally left the plunger in the toilet.

What do you get when you put a baby on a meathook?

An erection.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told that bitch twice.

Why does Stevie Wonder Always Smile

Because He Doesnt Know Hes Black

Why do women fake orgasms?

They think we care.

okay i know these are mean and racist but i find them funny but dont seriously think any of these are right...except the funniest one which will be found at the bottom of this post.

WOMENS RIGHTS!

so fucking funny.

Hellhound-138 · 10-21-2005, 10:23 PM

The Micheal Jackson joke are so old but whatever. I'm bored...

1.What do Micheal Jackson and McDonalds have in common?
They both have their meat slapped between 10 year old buns.

2.What do Micheal Jackson and a playstation have in common?
They are both made of plastic and both get turned on by children

3.What sound does a dying pig make?
Officer down!

...Those are the only jokes I know...

xEmochicKx · 10-21-2005, 11:33 PM

Kay these are mean...

A little girl is playing in a sandbox and a cat comes and takes a shit. Why?

Cause it thinks its a litter box.

What does a black person use as identity?

A piece of shit

3 black people jump off a cliff,who survives?

Who the hell cares!

Aww meanness haha

Spike*Spiegel · 10-24-2005, 01:09 AM

A young black woman goes to social services to file for welfare to support her 7 kids. The social worker asks what the kids' names are and the black woman replies, simply, "George.". The social worker, then, asks how she can tell her children apart if they all share the same 1st name. The black woman replies, "Oh, that's easy. I just call them by their last names."

i heard this from a grandma. naughty.

blackTshirt · 10-24-2005, 02:08 AM

hehe not even naughty.... cuuute

anticipation · 10-24-2005, 09:21 AM

Two Islamic men are sitting on the train. One pulls out a picture and says "This is my first born son. He is a martyr". The second one pulls out a picture and says "This is my first born song. He is also a martyr". The first one then says "Boy, they sure do blow up fast these days"

DontRunMeOver · 10-24-2005, 09:34 AM

Two men are out drinking one night when they decide that they're going to have a little contest. Both will go their seperate ways, go to as many bars as they can, get as drunk as they can and then meet up the next day to compare notes and see who had succeeded in getting the most drunk.

So the next day they meet again in the pub.

Man 1: "Last night I went to all of the bars in the town centre and had a triple vodka in each one. When I finally made it into my house I was so drunk that I blew chunks on the kitchen floor and then passed out."

Man 2: "That's nothing. Last night I went to all of the bars by the train station, at each one I had a triple whiskey. By the time I got home I was so drunk that I fell onto the fence and broke it. I fell into the pond, threw up over the car, shouted at my neighbours until eventually somebody called the police who came and locked me up overnight. They let me out this morning. I must got much more drunk than you."

Man 1: "You don't understand. 'Chunks' is the name of my dog."

Barnard17 · 10-24-2005, 10:00 AM

Who the **** is Helen Keller?

DontRunMeOver · 10-24-2005, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fal

Who the **** is Helen Keller?

Helen Keller was a woman who was (is she still alive?) deaf, dumb and blind. Not usually a fortunate combination. In Helen's case however, she somehow used her experiences to increase awareness of the plight of the disabled in society. I'm not sure how she did it - I just remember reading a picture encylopaedia page about her when I was about 8.

Fenixpunk · 10-24-2005, 11:26 AM

Q: What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A: You know she'll swallow!

Q: Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is?
A: Free ham.

Q: Why are there so many homes for battered women?
A: Because they just don't fucking listen!!

Q: Why do Canadians only have sex doggie style?
A: So they can both watch the hockey game!

Q: What have the England football team and a 3-pin plug got in common?
A: They're both fucking useless in Europe.

In early July, Canada celebrates Canada Day, the United States celebrates Independence Day, and in England they celebrate "Boy Did We Get Our Asses Handed To Us, Aren't We A Great Bunch of Poofs" Day. I'm just kidding. That's every day in Jolly Olde England.

Q: What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?
A: A Mercedes will easily reach 40.

10-21-2005, 10:23 PM	#2 (permalink)
Hellhound-138 Hippie killer Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Anaheim, California Posts: 71	The Micheal Jackson joke are so old but whatever. I'm bored... 1.What do Micheal Jackson and McDonalds have in common? They both have their meat slapped between 10 year old buns. 2.What do Micheal Jackson and a playstation have in common? They are both made of plastic and both get turned on by children 3.What sound does a dying pig make? Officer down! ...Those are the only jokes I know... __________________ Fighting for peace is like ****ing for your virginity Gabba Gabba Hey, Hellhound-138

10-21-2005, 11:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
xEmochicKx Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 91	Kay these are mean... A little girl is playing in a sandbox and a cat comes and takes a shit. Why? Cause it thinks its a litter box. What does a black person use as identity? A piece of shit 3 black people jump off a cliff,who survives? Who the hell cares! Aww meanness haha __________________ *You Cannot Rape the Willing.*

10-24-2005, 02:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
blackTshirt The Randomness Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: romania.. shut up Posts: 854	hehe not even naughty.... cuuute __________________ My rims never spin, to the contrary You'll find that they're quite stationary.

10-24-2005, 10:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
Barnard17 My home? Discabled, Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Bristol, UK Posts: 204	Who the **** is Helen Keller? __________________ Vita brevis, Occasio praeceps

10-24-2005, 11:26 AM	#10 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	Q: What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob? A: You know she'll swallow! Q: Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is? A: Free ham. Q: Why are there so many homes for battered women? A: Because they just don't fucking listen!! Q: Why do Canadians only have sex doggie style? A: So they can both watch the hockey game! Q: What have the England football team and a 3-pin plug got in common? A: They're both fucking useless in Europe. In early July, Canada celebrates Canada Day, the United States celebrates Independence Day, and in England they celebrate "Boy Did We Get Our Asses Handed To Us, Aren't We A Great Bunch of Poofs" Day. I'm just kidding. That's every day in Jolly Olde England. Q: What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A: A Mercedes will easily reach 40. __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

10-24-2005, 01:09 AM	#4 (permalink)
Spike*Spiegel Five Feet of Fury Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: suburbanite Posts: 761	A young black woman goes to social services to file for welfare to support her 7 kids. The social worker asks what the kids' names are and the black woman replies, simply, "George.". The social worker, then, asks how she can tell her children apart if they all share the same 1st name. The black woman replies, "Oh, that's easy. I just call them by their last names." i heard this from a grandma. naughty.

10-24-2005, 09:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
anticipation Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 3,565	Two Islamic men are sitting on the train. One pulls out a picture and says "This is my first born son. He is a martyr". The second one pulls out a picture and says "This is my first born song. He is also a martyr". The first one then says "Boy, they sure do blow up fast these days"

10-24-2005, 09:34 AM	#7 (permalink)
DontRunMeOver They call me Tundra Boy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: In your linen cupboard. Posts: 1,166	Two men are out drinking one night when they decide that they're going to have a little contest. Both will go their seperate ways, go to as many bars as they can, get as drunk as they can and then meet up the next day to compare notes and see who had succeeded in getting the most drunk. So the next day they meet again in the pub. Man 1: "Last night I went to all of the bars in the town centre and had a triple vodka in each one. When I finally made it into my house I was so drunk that I blew chunks on the kitchen floor and then passed out." Man 2: "That's nothing. Last night I went to all of the bars by the train station, at each one I had a triple whiskey. By the time I got home I was so drunk that I fell onto the fence and broke it. I fell into the pond, threw up over the car, shouted at my neighbours until eventually somebody called the police who came and locked me up overnight. They let me out this morning. I must got much more drunk than you." Man 1: "You don't understand. 'Chunks' is the name of my dog."