offensive jokes *giggles* (member, track, quote, Bell, hands)

Fenixpunk · 05-11-2006, 12:10 PM

Your Mom is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks

Doc.DGAF · 05-11-2006, 12:17 PM

Ya' momma so dirty she has to sneak up on bathwater.

Fenixpunk · 05-11-2006, 12:19 PM

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs

Doc.DGAF · 05-11-2006, 12:24 PM

Ugh, I hate that one, I always picture it when somebody says it...ugh. Ya' momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in the ocean!

Fenixpunk · 05-11-2006, 12:24 PM

Yo momma’s breath stinks so bad that people look forward to her farts

bruise_violet · 05-11-2006, 12:25 PM

Hahaha love it ^

Your mother's so stupid she got locked in a supermarket and starved

Sorry, it's the best I could come up with

Fenixpunk · 05-11-2006, 12:30 PM

Yo momma’s so fat her bellybutton doesn't have lint it has sweaters

adidasss · 05-11-2006, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jr.

That's just wrong.

Ok, this isn't offensive, but it struck me funny.

A man is sitting in his lving room, and the doorbell rings. He gets up and answers, and there's no one there. He looks up and down his porch....nothing. He glances down, and there on the doormat, there's a snail, looking up at him. Disgusted, he picks the snail up and tosses it across the street.

Three weeks later, the doorbell rings again. The man opens the door, and there is the snail, looking up at him.

And the snail says "What's up with that?"

Fenixpunk · 05-11-2006, 01:12 PM

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his Mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his Mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time," said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his Mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

right-track · 05-11-2006, 01:15 PM

Q: What is the ideal weight of a Scouser?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.

Q. What is the difference between a battery and an Scouser?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q - Why are Scousers like laxatives?
A - Because they irritate the shit out of you.

Q. How many Scousers does it take to pave a driveway?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.

05-11-2006, 12:10 PM	#271 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	Your Mom is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

05-11-2006, 12:17 PM	#272 (permalink)
Doc.DGAF Uhh-I am Octiposter-huhuh Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: South Florida Posts: 232	Ya' momma so dirty she has to sneak up on bathwater. __________________ Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.-Confucius Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.-Friedrich Nietzsche Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure.-Lord Byron Popularity's bad for you. I avoid it like the plague.-Brian Mulrooney

05-11-2006, 12:19 PM	#273 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

05-11-2006, 12:24 PM	#274 (permalink)
Doc.DGAF Uhh-I am Octiposter-huhuh Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: South Florida Posts: 232	Ugh, I hate that one, I always picture it when somebody says it...ugh. Ya' momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in the ocean! __________________ Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.-Confucius Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.-Friedrich Nietzsche Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure.-Lord Byron Popularity's bad for you. I avoid it like the plague.-Brian Mulrooney

05-11-2006, 12:24 PM	#275 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	Yo momma’s breath stinks so bad that people look forward to her farts __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

05-11-2006, 12:25 PM	#276 (permalink)
bruise_violet we became a carcass! Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 383	Hahaha love it ^ Your mother's so stupid she got locked in a supermarket and starved Sorry, it's the best I could come up with __________________ in love with the stumps, in love with the bleeding! in love with the pain that you now feel...

05-11-2006, 12:30 PM	#277 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	Yo momma’s so fat her bellybutton doesn't have lint it has sweaters __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

05-11-2006, 01:12 PM	#279 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his Mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his Mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his Mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up." __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

05-11-2006, 01:15 PM	#280 (permalink)
right-track Atchin' Akai Join Date: May 2005 Location: Unamerica Posts: 8,723	Q: What is the ideal weight of a Scouser? A: About three pounds, including the urn. Q. What is the difference between a battery and an Scouser? A. A battery has a positive side. Q - Why are Scousers like laxatives? A - Because they irritate the shit out of you. Q. How many Scousers does it take to pave a driveway? A. Depends how thin you slice them.