right-track

An ugly fat woman, a gorgeous young hot blonde, an American man and a Canadian man are all riding together in a train car.

As the train passes through a tunnel, the distinctive sound of a loud slap is heard.

When they emerge from the tunnel, a bright red handprint is on the face of the American.


The fat woman thinks "that dirty American grabbed that blonde in the tunnel and she slapped him!"

The blonde thinks "that dirty American must have tried to grab me, but grabbed the fatso by mistake and she slapped him!"

The American thinks "that Canadian bastard felt up that blonde and she slapped me by mistake!"

The Canadian thinks "I can’t wait ’til we go through another tunnel so I can slap that stupid American again!"

Fenixpunk

So a Croatian walks into a bar, and the bartender says,

"We don't serb your kind!"

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littleknowitall

3 vampires walk into the pub,

first vampire walks up to the bar says 'i'll have a pint of blood please'...as you do...
bartender, little shocked and confused says 'sorry mate, we don't serve blood here'
second vampire goes up 'pint of blood please'
barkeep - 'again mate, like i told your friend we don't serve blood'
third vampire goes up-
'pint of blood please mate'
barkeep, little adjetated 'look sorry mate, i've told both your mates now, we dont sell blood'
vampire 3 -'oh.....how bout a pint of boiled water then?'
confused barkeep - 'erm...yeah, i suppose we can do that'
vampire goes back to table with pint of boiled water and the other vampires look at him and say 'oy! ****ace! what 'ya doin' we only drink blood you dumbass'
he turns round and reaches a tampon out of his pocket goes 'ever heard of a tea bag?'

explosions-in-my-pants

thats so fucking EW!. but so funny.

Laces Out Dan!

probably one of the coolest jokes ever

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Doc.DGAF

That's the best joke in here!

Here's a few Momma jokes...

Ya' momma's so old she owes Jesus a nickel.

Ya' momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

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Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.-Confucius

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure.-Lord Byron

Popularity's bad for you. I avoid it like the plague.-Brian Mulrooney

Fenixpunk

yer mommas so nasty she needs to put ice in her panties to keep the crabs fresh....but she doesnt to cover up the smell

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Doc.DGAF

Hahahhaah, that's good, Imma save that one. But, ya' momma's so dirty she smells like hot ass on a cold day.

__________________
Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.-Confucius

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure.-Lord Byron

Popularity's bad for you. I avoid it like the plague.-Brian Mulrooney

Fenixpunk

Yo momma's so stupid she got fired from a blow-job.

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Doc.DGAF

HAHAHHAHAHAHAH! That's great. Ya' momma's so stupid at bottom of application where it says Sign Here, she put Sagittarius.

__________________
Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes.-Confucius

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure.-Lord Byron

Popularity's bad for you. I avoid it like the plague.-Brian Mulrooney