offensive jokes *giggles* (house, quote, band, emo, Inci)

MURDER JUNKIE · 12-22-2005, 12:45 AM

A man had just won the lottery and decided with his new found wealth he would get himself a new penis.
He goes to the plastic surgeon's office and the surgeon asks him just how big he wants to go. The man thinks about it and says that he isn't really sure but he will know it when he sees it.
The surgeon whips out a book and they begin thumbing through. He produces a picture of a horse penis and the man replies he wants bigger.
The surgeon produces a picture of a giraffe penis and the man replies that he wants to go bigger.
The surgeon the produces a picture of an elephant and the man exclaims that is is exactly what he wants.The surgeon replies that it is about the biggest penis out there and the man interupts and says that he doesn't want the penis but the trunk. The surgeon explains that it has never been done before however if money is no object it can be done.
After a significant amount of healing the man is out on his first date with his new penis and takes his date to the fanciest place in town. There is an 8pc cutlery setting, candles and basket of crusty rolls on the table. He sits down with his date and after a few minutes of conversation his new penis jumps up onto the table,grabs a crusty roll and disappears.
The man's date says "what was that?" to which the man replies "that's my new penis,it kind of gets away from me sometimes" His date is intrigued and says "do it again" The man says "I would love to but I don't think my arsehole could handle another crusty roll"

~~bungalow~~ · 12-22-2005, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MURDER JUNKIE

A man had just won the lottery and decided with his new found wealth he would get himself a new penis.
He goes to the plastic surgeon's office and the surgeon asks him just how big he wants to go. The man thinks about it and says that he isn't really sure but he will know it when he sees it.
The surgeon whips out a book and they begin thumbing through. He produces a picture of a horse penis and the man replies he wants bigger.
The surgeon produces a picture of a giraffe penis and the man replies that he wants to go bigger.
The surgeon the produces a picture of an elephant and the man exclaims that is is exactly what he wants.The surgeon replies that it is about the biggest penis out there and the man interupts and says that he doesn't want the penis but the trunk. The surgeon explains that it has never been done before however if money is no object it can be done.
After a significant amount of healing the man is out on his first date with his new penis and takes his date to the fanciest place in town. There is an 8pc cutlery setting, candles and basket of crusty rolls on the table. He sits down with his date and after a few minutes of conversation his new penis jumps up onto the table,grabs a crusty roll and disappears.
The man's date says "what was that?" to which the man replies "that's my new penis,it kind of gets away from me sometimes" His date is intrigued and says "do it again" The man says "I would love to but I don't think my arsehole could handle another crusty roll"

*doesnt get it............again* =(

12-21-2005, 12:35 AM

every post you make is spam....

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 12-21-2005, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pastor of muppets

every post you make is spam....

So true!

half_baked87 · 12-21-2005, 12:09 PM

SO whats the difference between a rich irishman and a poor irishman?

they both piss in the sink, but the rich one takes the dishes out first.

Merkaba · 12-22-2005, 12:53 AM

Nice.

PerFeCTioNThrUSileNCe · 12-22-2005, 12:56 AM

that one was good.

~~bungalow~~ · 12-22-2005, 09:58 PM

Is that the whole punchline of the joke though.
I thought that there was something I was missing.
His penis/trunk is putting rolls in his asshole.....thats what I got from the joke.
I just thought that there was more to it...

MURDER JUNKIE · 12-22-2005, 10:01 PM

sorry, thats it. I will try to find something wittier for you.

How about this:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...........

~~bungalow~~ · 12-22-2005, 10:08 PM

I wasnt saying your joke was stupid.
I would have been laughing my ass of if I had known that I got it.
I just thought I was missing something.
So I hesitated with the laughing.
No disrespect to your joke

12-22-2005, 12:53 AM	#6 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,882	Nice. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

12-22-2005, 12:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
MURDER JUNKIE The Wetter The Better!! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: SH1TTY London Ontario Canada Posts: 2,484	A man had just won the lottery and decided with his new found wealth he would get himself a new penis. He goes to the plastic surgeon's office and the surgeon asks him just how big he wants to go. The man thinks about it and says that he isn't really sure but he will know it when he sees it. The surgeon whips out a book and they begin thumbing through. He produces a picture of a horse penis and the man replies he wants bigger. The surgeon produces a picture of a giraffe penis and the man replies that he wants to go bigger. The surgeon the produces a picture of an elephant and the man exclaims that is is exactly what he wants.The surgeon replies that it is about the biggest penis out there and the man interupts and says that he doesn't want the penis but the trunk. The surgeon explains that it has never been done before however if money is no object it can be done. After a significant amount of healing the man is out on his first date with his new penis and takes his date to the fanciest place in town. There is an 8pc cutlery setting, candles and basket of crusty rolls on the table. He sits down with his date and after a few minutes of conversation his new penis jumps up onto the table,grabs a crusty roll and disappears. The man's date says "what was that?" to which the man replies "that's my new penis,it kind of gets away from me sometimes" His date is intrigued and says "do it again" The man says "I would love to but I don't think my arsehole could handle another crusty roll"

12-21-2005, 12:35 AM	#3 (permalink)
pastor of muppets Guest Posts: n/a	every post you make is spam....

12-21-2005, 12:09 PM	#5 (permalink)
half_baked87 sammichestime Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 376	SO whats the difference between a rich irishman and a poor irishman? they both piss in the sink, but the rich one takes the dishes out first.

12-22-2005, 09:58 PM	#8 (permalink)
~~bungalow~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Hot-lanta Posts: 3,061	Is that the whole punchline of the joke though. I thought that there was something I was missing. His penis/trunk is putting rolls in his asshole.....thats what I got from the joke. I just thought that there was more to it...

12-22-2005, 10:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
MURDER JUNKIE The Wetter The Better!! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: SH1TTY London Ontario Canada Posts: 2,484	sorry, thats it. I will try to find something wittier for you. How about this: A dyslexic man walks into a bra...........

12-22-2005, 10:08 PM	#10 (permalink)
~~bungalow~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Hot-lanta Posts: 3,061	I wasnt saying your joke was stupid. I would have been laughing my ass of if I had known that I got it. I just thought I was missing something. So I hesitated with the laughing. No disrespect to your joke