Originally Posted by Shooting Star

Remember kids: It's only real metal if the vocalist sounds like he's vomiting up a fetus. \m/

Originally Posted by MURDER JUNKIE

A man had just won the lottery and decided with his new found wealth he would get himself a new penis.
He goes to the plastic surgeon's office and the surgeon asks him just how big he wants to go. The man thinks about it and says that he isn't really sure but he will know it when he sees it.
The surgeon whips out a book and they begin thumbing through. He produces a picture of a horse penis and the man replies he wants bigger.
The surgeon produces a picture of a giraffe penis and the man replies that he wants to go bigger.
The surgeon the produces a picture of an elephant and the man exclaims that is is exactly what he wants.The surgeon replies that it is about the biggest penis out there and the man interupts and says that he doesn't want the penis but the trunk. The surgeon explains that it has never been done before however if money is no object it can be done.
After a significant amount of healing the man is out on his first date with his new penis and takes his date to the fanciest place in town. There is an 8pc cutlery setting, candles and basket of crusty rolls on the table. He sits down with his date and after a few minutes of conversation his new penis jumps up onto the table,grabs a crusty roll and disappears.
The man's date says "what was that?" to which the man replies "that's my new penis,it kind of gets away from me sometimes" His date is intrigued and says "do it again" The man says "I would love to but I don't think my arsehole could handle another crusty roll"

Originally Posted by bungalowbill357

*doesnt get it............again* =(