offensive jokes *giggles* (member, track, quote)

PerFeCTioNThrUSileNCe · 05-19-2006, 03:49 PM

^GOLD GOLD GOLD!!!!!

That was great....soooooo great..

*ahem...(composes self)*...

yeah..

riseagainstrocks · 05-19-2006, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doc.DGAF

Ok, I just made this up right now! I just used it on Ensemble.

Ya' momma's so fat she sleeps in a bed as big as Russia. She rolled over one night, fell off China and made Australia!

....

nope.

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

nothing, you already told her twice!

Fenixpunk · 05-19-2006, 04:01 PM

There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.

He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".

"Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".

Fenixpunk · 05-19-2006, 04:02 PM

A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says,

"Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy."

The pedophile replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."

ArmyofMe · 05-19-2006, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fenixpunk

There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.

He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".

"Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".

*CLAPS*

explosions-in-my-pants · 05-19-2006, 04:22 PM

Fenix these two last jokes you said were great!.. good job

Fenixpunk · 05-19-2006, 04:31 PM

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid replies, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

ArmyofMe · 05-20-2006, 09:50 AM

^ three goodn's in a row, nice
don't spell dick like that, it kicked in on my dislexia real bad, plz

Blain · 05-22-2006, 03:48 AM

I dunno if you'll find these lame or not but...

What do you get when you put Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwarzenegger together?

Answer: Michaelwazanigga

What Michael Jacksons favourite time?

Answer: Midnight, when the big hand touches the little hand

there was 3 guys on a plane, an Asian, an Aussie, And a New Zealander. The pilot said that we needed to lose weight quick because we were going to run out of fuel after 10 minutes of thinking, the New Zealander threw out some of his sheep because they had so many in New Zealand, The Asian Threw out fireworks because they had so many of them and then finally the Aussie threw out the Asian because they had to many of them

Remember they're just jokes..... but heres the best one

What did the robot say to the centipede?

Stop being a centipede!! Hahahahahaha

ArmyofMe · 05-22-2006, 07:01 AM

Quote:

What did the robot say to the centipede?

Stop being a centipede!! Hahahahahaha

WTF, i don't get it... (if there was something to get)

05-19-2006, 04:01 PM	#313 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday. He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said. The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims. Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today". "Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers. She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old". "How did you know?" the boy asked. Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father". __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

05-19-2006, 04:02 PM	#314 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	A little boy and a pedophile are walking in the deep, dark, woods. The little boy says, "Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy." The pedophile replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself." __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

05-19-2006, 04:31 PM	#317 (permalink)
Fenixpunk The Erroneous Hoodlum Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: West Side Phoenix Posts: 2,057	On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid replies, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top." __________________ This message has been approved by Shawn Erroneous - The Declaimed

05-20-2006, 09:50 AM	#318 (permalink)
ArmyofMe mhmm Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: ummm... Posts: 72	^ three goodn's in a row, nice don't spell dick like that, it kicked in on my dislexia real bad, plz __________________ bah..

05-19-2006, 04:22 PM	#316 (permalink)
explosions-in-my-pants angel of tragic days Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 924	Fenix these two last jokes you said were great!.. good job

05-22-2006, 03:48 AM	#319 (permalink)
Blain w0rd Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Suva, Fiji Posts: 1,034	I dunno if you'll find these lame or not but... What do you get when you put Michael Jackson and Arnold Schwarzenegger together? Answer: Michaelwazanigga What Michael Jacksons favourite time? Answer: Midnight, when the big hand touches the little hand there was 3 guys on a plane, an Asian, an Aussie, And a New Zealander. The pilot said that we needed to lose weight quick because we were going to run out of fuel after 10 minutes of thinking, the New Zealander threw out some of his sheep because they had so many in New Zealand, The Asian Threw out fireworks because they had so many of them and then finally the Aussie threw out the Asian because they had to many of them Remember they're just jokes..... but heres the best one What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!! Hahahahahaha