offensive jokes *giggles* (Wham!, quote, songs, 1964)

Laces Out Dan! · 02-10-2006, 11:09 PM

^haha

MURDER JUNKIE · 02-23-2006, 12:47 AM

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head
of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,"
You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Laces Out Dan! · 02-23-2006, 06:05 PM

^ Haha

incesticide · 02-23-2006, 06:10 PM

Lmaoooooooooooooo

Urban Hat€monger ? · 03-10-2006, 09:38 PM

A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters.
"Mummy," the first daughter asks. "Why am I called Rose?"
"Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead."
"Mummy," asked the second daughter. "Why am I called Tulip?"
"Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead."
The third daughter moaned: "Mnanmammmammnaamammangh!"
"Be quiet, Fridge," said the mother.

Laces Out Dan! · 03-10-2006, 09:40 PM

^

Haha such a simple joke but it owns soo much

Merkaba · 03-11-2006, 01:07 AM

Ha yeah that was pretty good. This one is completely crude and you didn't hear it from me.

85% of Negro's have had sex standing up in the shower...

The other 15% haven't been to jail yet.

Merkaba · 03-11-2006, 03:32 PM

Mute tourettes syndrome:

PerFeCTioNThrUSileNCe · 03-11-2006, 11:12 PM

^HAHA...

thats great. ive got a friend with tourettes. he doesnt do stuff like that though..

Quote:

A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters.
"Mummy," the first daughter asks. "Why am I called Rose?"
"Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead."
"Mummy," asked the second daughter. "Why am I called Tulip?"
"Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead."
The third daughter moaned: "Mnanmammmammnaamammangh!"
"Be quiet, Fridge," said the mother.

thats the best.

Mama Booze · 03-11-2006, 11:31 PM

your mom's in wham!.

02-10-2006, 11:09 PM	#151 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	^haha __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.

02-23-2006, 06:05 PM	#153 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	^ Haha __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.

02-23-2006, 06:10 PM	#154 (permalink)
incesticide !!! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Merrimac, Massachusetts Posts: 70	Lmaoooooooooooooo __________________ why be famous? be infamous.

03-10-2006, 09:38 PM	#155 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters. "Mummy," the first daughter asks. "Why am I called Rose?" "Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead." "Mummy," asked the second daughter. "Why am I called Tulip?" "Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead." The third daughter moaned: "Mnanmammmammnaamammangh!" "Be quiet, Fridge," said the mother. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

03-10-2006, 09:40 PM	#156 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	^ Haha such a simple joke but it owns soo much __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.

02-23-2006, 12:47 AM	#152 (permalink)
MURDER JUNKIE The Wetter The Better!! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: SH1TTY London Ontario Canada Posts: 2,504	WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, And a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated," You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."

03-11-2006, 01:07 AM	#157 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	Ha yeah that was pretty good. This one is completely crude and you didn't hear it from me. 85% of Negro's have had sex standing up in the shower... The other 15% haven't been to jail yet. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

03-11-2006, 03:32 PM	#158 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	Mute tourettes syndrome: __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

03-11-2006, 11:31 PM	#160 (permalink)
Mama Booze Here's lookin at you, kid Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The White Hotel Posts: 366	your mom's in wham!.