The Music Banter Members' Journals Monthly Update Thread

[innerspaceboy]

Absolutely brilliant. I loved every word! This might be my favorite entry thus far, and it was precisely the spirit I needed on what has otherwise been quite a solemn Sunday of introspection and disquieting solitude. Cheers to you, Trollheart!

[Thelonious Monkey]

I ****ing hate these new guy's that have taken over Trollheart's thread. BRING HIM BACK!!

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by _Violet_

I ****ing hate these new guy's that have taken over Trollheart's thread. BRING HIM BACK!!

Quit being a bitch, poopdick.

[Trollheart]

Originally Posted by _Violet_

I ****ing hate these new guy's that have taken over Trollheart's thread. BRING HIM BACK!!

Oh I'm afraid your precious Trollheart won't be joining us ... for the rest of his life! BWA HA HA H - what?

We didn't? I ... see. I thought I told you to take care of him? You did what? On MY expense account??

I'm sorry Sir, but, well, murder isn't legal any more. This is not Nazi Germany.

Bah! It's what I say it is, Smithers!
Very well then! Your precious Trollheart won't be joining us ... for some time. Gaah! It just doesn't sound the same, Smithers. Not threatening enough.

What? Yes, yes, maybe that would cheer me up...

Ah Smithers! How can I stay mad at you?

[Mondo Bungle]

I kinda gave up the journal because it would eventually get too complicated

[Trollheart]

Lollygaggers! Chair moisteners! Air wasters!
Look at the pathetic amount of updates, and after I warned you last week.
Well, you can't say I'm not a fair man; you were given ample opportunity to pull your socks up, and now you will reap the whirlwind of the wrath of Monty Burns!
Very well then: I wish to announce the following redundancies, which I will read in alphabetical order:
Simpson, Homer.
That is all.



What's that you say? You don't even keep a journal? You don't know what a journal is? Oh don't worry: you can take your journal with you. Nobody will take your precious journal from you! Now get out!


Attention, remaining salary gobblers! You have now seen I am not a man to be trifled with. I warn you to take heed, or end up like ... like ... Smithers? Ah yes. Like Homer Thompson. What? Oh yes, of course, silly me. Homer Simpson. What is it Simpson? Yes, we will require that you remove all the fillings you had on the Plant dental plan before you leave. See our company doctor before you leave.

Now, as I was saying, this is your last chance. Straighten up and fly right, or feel the strength of my glower power! Journal writers? You can't write journals! No journal writers, you! Bah! I deride your journal writing abilities! Oh well, then, prove me wrong, I do encourage you. (Not bloody likely!)

Oh, to Hades with it then! Let's get on with wading through this sub-standard collection of crayon scrawls and desperate cries for help, see if you quill monkeys have actually managed to write anything that might be of vague interest to anyone...

It would appear this Batlord chap is into the louder music, I believe they call it Hard Steel? No, that's not it, Smithers, what is it? What do you mean, you're into jazz? Well yes, but this is called something like ... Weighty Iron? Heavy Metal? Something like that anyway. At any rate, if you find yourself stuck in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ite-about.html you'll find him with his nose stuck in some book or other about this noisy stuff, and doing his best to write about it.

Asmus Tietchen (isn't that the square in China where that delightful tank rolled over that hippy student? No? Ah.) Well apparently this is http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...cking-out.html, if you feel so inclined. That young Mozart chap is a little too experimental for me. The Magic Flute? Disgusting. Also, strangely arousing ... Ahem! Well, if you career-dodgers want to "check out" what this (Smithers! Hold those air quotes up higher! They can't see them!) this couch occupier considers music, then I'll be damned if I'm going to stop you. Bah.

Oh look, Smithers! We have a new amoeba in the gene pool! Well well, come on in, Pat Monahan's Hairy Chest (?) and do display your efforts. http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...absurdity.html. Yes, a weighty, if rather obnoxious title for a journal no doubt to be filled with weighty, obnoxious music. Pygmy Lush? Zhrine? Looks like I was right. Bah! Next!

Looks like it's up to Trollheart as usual to take up the slack! Such a hard working author, and a beautiful man, too.


In his many journals this week we find him finishing up with the Bowie chap for now and moving on to Thin Lizzy. Oh, capital idea! Leave one dead guy behind and concentrate on another bunch of dead – what? They're not? Lynott only? Well, we can soon fix that with a simple phone call, can't we? Smithers, update their Wikipedia page: "cause of death: got in my way.” If you wish to read about their off-key caterwauling it's here http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...d-journal.html and meanwhile in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...i-reviews.html there's Soul Asylum, Antimatter and .. Evergrey? Smithers, who are these people? Well find out. These Antimatter fellows sound like they could be very useful in my plant. Oh look, Smithers! After your (hahahaha!) antics as a cowboy last week, he's introducing a series of Western films in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ox-office.html, beginning with Clint Eastwood in a movie whose title I can get right behind: Unforgiven. And Evil Roy Slade sounds like my sort of chap too! Excellent! Oh look! He's resurrected http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ver-heard.html with Sinatra, Michael Jackson and Lou Reed. Never heard of any of them. Apart from Sinatra of course.

What? Michael Jackson? Black, eh? Affirmative action? You mean, me telling someone "Yes that's affirmative: you're fired!"? No? Then what do you mean..?

Ah yes, and some drunken tomfoolery in http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-endeavor.html. Capital.

Now then, Smithers, I believe Trollheart left us some instructions. The envelope, if you please. No, that's all right: I'm sure I can – ummh! - it can't defeat .... urrrggh! ... me ... grumpph! --- how hard can it be --- arrrrgghh! Ah, blast it to Hell man! You open it! Feels like it's been sealed with superglue! What? How did you open it so – never mind. What does it say?

Hmm. If there are less than six members updating in any week, ignore “Post of the Week”, “Workhorse of the Week” and “Funny Post of the Week”. Very well then: let's check. Apart from Trollheart himself that's, um, four. So then. No need for all that nonsense. What's left? Ah, he's scribed some missive for us to show on the old magic lantern, yes? Roll it there, Smithers! And don't be stingy with the film! Thirty - no, thirty-two millimetres! Let's push the boat out, shall we?

[Trollheart]

Stepping quietly and carefully, so as not to disturb the ghosts of journals past, we proceed deeper into the graveyard, pulling our collars up against the chill wind that blows through this forsaken barren wasteland. The moon slides out from behind a thick bank of cloud, staring down at us like a pearl eye before being once again obscured by the darkness, and it's as if she has winked at us. We don't quite get the joke, but off in the distance an owl does as it hoots in the gloom.

Our boots crunching on gravel, we eventaully reach our destination, and going down on one knee, one arm resting on that knee, the other shining a torch upon the tombstone, splashing pale light across the stone like a spectral hand, we bow our head and look at
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...c-journal.html

This journal never got going, and the name of its would-be author is perhaps appropriate, even ironic, given where we are and what has become of this effort.

Statistics
Journal title: Overcasts' Music Journal
Author: Overcast
Born: September 25 2015
Total views: 282
Total posts: 1
Posts (by author):1
Actual posts by author (ie not just replies to comments): 1
Died: September 25 2015
Graveyard Ranking: The stone cross is chipped and broken, and any flowers that ever were here are long rotted away into the soil. Clearly nobody visits, nobody cares. Sad.

Well, that was a whole bundle of laughs, wasn't it, Smithers? See if you can inject some levity into proceedings before we go. I know: get drunk and stagger around for my amusement.

I have a better idea Sir.

Oh yes! Yes indeed! Do that! Now what was I laughing at again? Oh yes: that crippled Irishman! No, no! It was you, Smithers, dressed as a (choke) cowboy!

Ahem, yes. Well, be that as it may, Sir....

with
Waylon Smithers

Well howdy there par – Sir, could you please stop laughing? It's really putting me off. Thank you. Ahem. Howdy to you fella and ladies again. Whiplash Waylon (Please, Mr. Burns!) here again with mah own personal picks of the good, the bad and ... well not the ugly, but, you know...
Not too many young 'uns these days, but ah do declare ah find
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...-too-cool.html
to be pretty darn tootin' fine! Definitely worthy moseyin' over fer a looksee.
As for the, uh, Old Hands...
Ah always enjoyed Mister Sidewinder's lists, even though if'n ah were to see a (Sir, please!) sidewinder ah'd likely as not pop the varmint with mah six-shooter! But this was a heck of a good journal, so much so that it got copied, and well indeed, by Goofle. This was the original though, and in mah humble opinion, the best.
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ar-1965-a.html

Sir, I really think we should. No, I know, but he's not here and ...
Oh very well. I suppose there's some merit it what you say. Normally Trollheart is too reserved and humble to talk much about his own journals, but as he's not here Smithers and I believe he deserves to be included in this section he created:

After an absence of almost two years, let's hear it for the return of
http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ver-heard.html
With so many journals to handle, it's somewhat beyond me why he wants to bring back one of his older ones, but then, I suppose the doctors will discover that when .. what? He asked us not to? Ah. I see. Well, anyway, it's back so take it for what it is.

That's it. This update is over. Get off my property!
Smithers, you know what to do...

No! Not THAT! Urghh! Get OFF me, man! Why would you think I would want you to ....

[innerspaceboy]

My apologies for my absence this week. I have completed drafting the entries for my new member blog - A Classy B*stard's Nine to Five. I had some apprehension about my boss discovering the journal, but then I realized, f*ck him. I'm already applying to several tech companies for openings as a senior IT specialist, so the days are numbered anyway.

This journal will have posts every Monday faithfully posted at 5:30pm. There are several months of entries already written showcasing the fanatbulous misadventures of an academic Victorian sir trapped in a thankless entry-level job with insipid dolts who somehow manage to walk erect despite their baffling ignorance. And every word of it is true. Should be a lot of fun.

Look for the new journal to appear Monday (tomorrow) by 5:30pm.

Trollheart - this will be one to watch!

[Trollheart]

Ah yes. I'm afraid they have yet to install an interwebcomnet communique contraption in his packing case, and anyway the coverage is terrible in Zaire - I mean, not Zaire. He's definitely not there. Anywhere but - ah, ah .... Smith-ers!!!

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by innerspaceboy

I had some apprehension about my boss discovering the journal, but then I realized, f*ck him.

My philosophy in general.