Gavin B.

Maples are always screaming for more sunlight. They start clacking their limbs together in an eerie dirge rhythm whenever there's a cloud cover in the forest.

Let's face the facts, people: maple trees are solar gluttons who would kill to spend a few hours basking in the sun. Oaks are basically right... "If those goddam maples want more sunlight they should go to a tanning parlor."

Willow trees don't give a sh*t about sunlight because they're too busy sucking up all the ground water while all the other trees are saying "Whadda I have to do to get a drink around this joint?"

The most horrifying event of my life was being stalked by walking tree on the Mojave Desert. My friends all thought I was on acid, until I showed them the cellphone picture I took of the angry tree chasing me.


Angry Tree:"Get in the car, Gavin B... I'm taking you for a little ride."

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There are two types of music: the first type is the blues and the second type is all the other stuff.
Townes Van Zandt