Opting Out Of Parenthood

music_collector · 08-03-2022, 05:53 PM

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We're good with no kids at all ever though.

Good on you for making the choice. Kids aren't for everyone. Not every adult is made to be a parent either.

music_collector · 08-03-2022, 05:54 PM

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I don't know why some people think it's "selfish" not to want children.

It's definitely not selfish.

Carpe Mortem · 08-03-2022, 06:04 PM

I don't think it's selfish to have bio children, or to Not have children at all. Either way is doing the right thing for yourself, and therefore to the better benefit of those around you.

I guess the main reason I point towards sterilization even for people who Do want children eventually is because of what's going on in the US right now. I had a procedure called a bilateral salpingectomy - they removed my fallopian tubes entirely, didn't just snip them - and technically if I did change my mind I could still do in vitro.

Really what I've done is just remove the possibility for an accident. I've never wanted kids at all though and finally took the plunge to make damn sure of it.

music_collector · 08-03-2022, 06:09 PM

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and technically if I did change my mind I could still do in vitro

It sounds like you really thought your decision through. You even have a backup plan baked in.

Carpe Mortem · 08-03-2022, 06:15 PM

Of course! And I like that, if I ever did change my mind, I would have to save up money and really think about it. It can never, ever be a split second decision based on temporary biological need for me.

music_collector · 08-03-2022, 06:23 PM

It's definitely not a split second decision. As a man, I wouldn't take that decision lightly either.

In our case, deciding to have kids took a lot of thought, given the ordeal we went through (IUI, in vitro). There was a big emotional, physical and financial cost.

Carpe Mortem · 08-03-2022, 06:36 PM

I'm sure it took its toll on you, but you're probably superior parents because of it. Too many people just fall into parenthood because of an accident & their feelings on abortion - and too often their children pay the price. Your twins are fortunate to have parents that clearly wanted and love them very much!

Trollheart · 08-03-2022, 07:10 PM

I love kids.
Couldn't finish a whole one, though...

The Batlord · 08-03-2022, 08:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Trollheart

I love kids.
Couldn't finish a whole one, though...

I usually have the kids finish me.

music_collector · 08-03-2022, 09:00 PM

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I'm sure it took its toll on you, but you're probably superior parents because of it.

I'd like to think we are, but only time will tell. That first year was an absolute killer. There's a reason it's called survival mode.

Kudos to the ladies. The physical pain I saw my wife go through, from trying to conceive all the way to recovering from delivery, there is no way I could have braved it all.

It dawned on me why a woman wouldn't want kids. That's a lot of work, even before the kid pops out!

08-03-2022, 06:04 PM	#433 (permalink)
Carpe Mortem Crusher of tiny Nords Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Ugly Bag of Mostly Water Posts: 1,363	I don't think it's selfish to have bio children, or to Not have children at all. Either way is doing the right thing for yourself, and therefore to the better benefit of those around you. I guess the main reason I point towards sterilization even for people who Do want children eventually is because of what's going on in the US right now. I had a procedure called a bilateral salpingectomy - they removed my fallopian tubes entirely, didn't just snip them - and technically if I did change my mind I could still do in vitro. Really what I've done is just remove the possibility for an accident. I've never wanted kids at all though and finally took the plunge to make damn sure of it. __________________ [SIG][/SIG] Mirth is King Be Loving & Open With My Emotions

08-03-2022, 06:15 PM	#435 (permalink)
Carpe Mortem Crusher of tiny Nords Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Ugly Bag of Mostly Water Posts: 1,363	Of course! And I like that, if I ever did change my mind, I would have to save up money and really think about it. It can never, ever be a split second decision based on temporary biological need for me. __________________ [SIG][/SIG] Mirth is King Be Loving & Open With My Emotions

08-03-2022, 06:36 PM	#437 (permalink)
Carpe Mortem Crusher of tiny Nords Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Ugly Bag of Mostly Water Posts: 1,363	I'm sure it took its toll on you, but you're probably superior parents because of it. Too many people just fall into parenthood because of an accident & their feelings on abortion - and too often their children pay the price. Your twins are fortunate to have parents that clearly wanted and love them very much! __________________ [SIG][/SIG] Mirth is King Be Loving & Open With My Emotions

08-03-2022, 07:10 PM	#438 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	I love kids. Couldn't finish a whole one, though... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

08-03-2022, 06:23 PM	#436 (permalink)
music_collector Music Addict Join Date: Apr 2022 Location: Canada Posts: 744	It's definitely not a split second decision. As a man, I wouldn't take that decision lightly either. In our case, deciding to have kids took a lot of thought, given the ordeal we went through (IUI, in vitro). There was a big emotional, physical and financial cost.