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-   -   Opting Out Of Parenthood (https://www.musicbanter.com/current-events-philosophy-religion/92840-opting-out-parenthood.html)

Lucem Ferre 01-18-2019 07:59 PM

What's the worst that can happen?

WWWP 01-18-2019 08:13 PM

Pls no

MicShazam 01-19-2019 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWWP (Post 2035302)
Deleted a bunch of nonsense. Trolling, baiting, and name-calling are not allowed.

I don't know if anything happened after I logged off, but I don't feel like anything written by me, Lucem and OH when I was online was more than just a bit of goofing around.

SmokeAndMirrors 01-19-2019 04:29 AM

Not all stepparents are bad and have rocky relationships with the bio kids. I've met a few that were pretty awesome. Though, the key word there being "few." I definitely don't think it's impossible, just somewhat uncommon or unlikely. Though then again, what the **** do I know?? I don't have kids and rarely date anymore.

OccultHawk 01-19-2019 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre (Post 2035338)
What's the worst that can happen?

I want to get back to my journal but I’m still kind of thinking about what to write this year.

The Batlord 01-19-2019 10:27 AM

Start telling funny/crazy/sexy music-related anecdotes.

Lucem Ferre 01-19-2019 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 2035389)
I want to get back to my journal but I’m still kind of thinking about what to write this year.

Japan stories. Then a song or an album or something that connects the most with the memory.

Or just music that reminds you the most of Japan.

Zhanteimi 01-19-2019 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre (Post 2035560)
Japan stories. Then a song or an album or something that connects the most with the memory.

Or just music that reminds you the most of Japan.

This. I need the lulz.

Zhanteimi 01-19-2019 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWWP (Post 2035307)
huh uh no more ms nice girl

Oh my goodness. I would love to see a real mod step up and do this. Not because I think this place needs to be modded but because of all the whining that will ensue.

DwnWthVwls 01-19-2019 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeAndMirrors (Post 2035386)
Not all stepparents are bad and have rocky relationships with the bio kids. I've met a few that were pretty awesome. Though, the key word there being "few." I definitely don't think it's impossible, just somewhat uncommon or unlikely. Though then again, what the **** do I know?? I don't have kids and rarely date anymore.

I was twelve when my parents got divorced. I liked the guy my mom ending marrying who is still my stepdad today and a great person, and my dad had an awesome girlfriend at one point and new wife at another who were both amazing. I also didn't have the mindset of thinking they were trying to replace my parents. I recognized my mom was extremely unhappy with my dad who was a control freak with depression issues and although he was miserable for a while, they shouldnt have been together.

No comment about your unsubstantiated opinion about the likelihood of great step parents.

WWWP 01-19-2019 11:57 PM

I got the evil stepmother experience. Today though I still do her the courtesy of a phone call every few months whereas I haven't talked to my dad for more than a decade. He cheated on my mom, dumped her, and married my stepmom within weeks of knowing her. He would force us to call her mom while at the same time she would say "don't call me mom, it freaks me out," and being told to only refer to our birth mom as "the egg donor." Just some really good parenting decisions being made.

OccultHawk 01-20-2019 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWWP (Post 2035650)
I got the evil stepmother experience. Today though I still do her the courtesy of a phone call every few months whereas I haven't talked to my dad for more than a decade. He cheated on my mom, dumped her, and married my stepmom within weeks of knowing her. He would force us to call her mom while at the same time she would say "don't call me mom, it freaks me out," and being told to only refer to our birth mom as "the egg donor." Just some really good parenting decisions being made.

Did you live with him or your mom?

GunmouthGrace 01-20-2019 01:02 AM

.

WWWP 01-20-2019 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 2035651)
Did you live with him or your mom?

I didn't see my mom between the ages of 7-18.

Lived with my dad and stepmom from 5-16.

Moved out at 16 and reconnected with my mom on myspace lol.

OccultHawk 01-20-2019 02:14 AM

WTF was wrong with her?

WWWP 01-20-2019 02:33 AM

My mom? She was young, bullied by my dad, his parents, and my stepmom, naive and without resources. There was a nasty custody battle and it's all part of a larger story which I'll write one day and sell to Lifetime.

The Batlord 01-20-2019 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls (Post 2035648)
I was twelve when my parents got divorced. I liked the guy my mom ending marrying who is still my stepdad today and a great person, and my dad had an awesome girlfriend at one point and new wife at another who were both amazing. I also didn't have the mindset of thinking they were trying to replace my parents. I recognized my mom was extremely unhappy with my dad who was a control freak with depression issues and although he was miserable for a while, they shouldnt have been together.

No comment about your unsubstantiated opinion about the likelihood of great step parents.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWWP (Post 2035650)
I got the evil stepmother experience. Today though I still do her the courtesy of a phone call every few months whereas I haven't talked to my dad for more than a decade. He cheated on my mom, dumped her, and married my stepmom within weeks of knowing her. He would force us to call her mom while at the same time she would say "don't call me mom, it freaks me out," and being told to only refer to our birth mom as "the egg donor." Just some really good parenting decisions being made.

No wonder you're both such ***gots.

SmokeAndMirrors 01-20-2019 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls (Post 2035648)
I was twelve when my parents got divorced. I liked the guy my mom ending marrying who is still my stepdad today and a great person, and my dad had an awesome girlfriend at one point and new wife at another who were both amazing. I also didn't have the mindset of thinking they were trying to replace my parents. I recognized my mom was extremely unhappy with my dad who was a control freak with depression issues and although he was miserable for a while, they shouldnt have been together.

No comment about your unsubstantiated opinion about the likelihood of great step parents.

Yeah, my parents are still married and both me and my sister agree that they should've divorced years ago and should've never had us as kids.

OccultHawk 01-20-2019 06:02 AM

Right on elph

The sooner you embrace your white trash side the better

Btw, are sure that 16 y/o girl wasn’t you?

OccultHawk 01-20-2019 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elphenor (Post 2035719)
I grew up in northern Florida

got the **** out at 18 where I went to San Diego with no plan

met the other young homeless, good times, lots of stealing and drinking

Isn’t you only 18 and a half next month?

Frownland 01-20-2019 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokeAndMirrors (Post 2035684)
Yeah, my parents are still married and both me and my sister agree that they should've divorced years ago and should've never had us as kids.

Same.

[MERIT] 01-20-2019 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 2035707)
Btw, are sure that 16 y/o girl wasn’t you?

:laughing::laughing:

windsock 01-20-2019 10:17 PM

OH is a well-oiled zing machine and for that I'm grateful.

OccultHawk 01-21-2019 03:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by windsock (Post 2035927)
OH is a well-oiled zing machine and for that I'm grateful.

You’re welcome

Carpe Mortem 08-02-2022 07:44 PM

Just looking at some of my old posts. I haven't been on this forum in a few years.

I'm sterile :)

The Batlord 08-02-2022 08:32 PM

Wut up, bitch?

Carpe Mortem 08-03-2022 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 2212931)
Wut up, bitch?

Feels so good to not give a **** about the abortion debate because it will never remotely be a problem for me.

Damn I'm selfish.

Seriously though, everyone should sterilize themselves. There's enough children without homes anyways, go adopt one.

music_collector 08-03-2022 05:31 PM

Quote:

There's enough children without homes anyways, go adopt one.
Depending on where you live, it's easier said than done. Before we had our twins, we tried going the adoption route. There's so much red tape, as well as a crazy financial cost.

Carpe Mortem 08-03-2022 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by music_collector (Post 2213148)
Depending on where you live, it's easier said than done. Before we had our twins, we tried going the adoption route. There's so much red tape, as well as a crazy financial cost.

That's very, very sad. I know there's some sick people out there but there are far more people who aren't.

I guess it's one of those things where you just can't take any chances. It is a child's life after all. Makes me wonder if foster care is easier to get into. Hollywood seems to show any ratchet ass person fostering kids.

We're good with no kids at all ever though.

ribbons 08-03-2022 05:51 PM

I don't know why some people think it's "selfish" not to want children. If you don't want children, you should definitely not have them. Having kids is an extraordinary responsibility, even if it's something you really wanted and even if you have well behaved children.

I never considered adopting children and birthed my own biological children - which in a way can be considered very narcissistic and "selfish" when you think about all the un-adopted children in the world who desperately need parents.

music_collector 08-03-2022 05:53 PM

Quote:

We're good with no kids at all ever though.
Good on you for making the choice. Kids aren't for everyone. Not every adult is made to be a parent either.

music_collector 08-03-2022 05:54 PM

Quote:

I don't know why some people think it's "selfish" not to want children.
It's definitely not selfish.

Carpe Mortem 08-03-2022 06:04 PM

I don't think it's selfish to have bio children, or to Not have children at all. Either way is doing the right thing for yourself, and therefore to the better benefit of those around you.

I guess the main reason I point towards sterilization even for people who Do want children eventually is because of what's going on in the US right now. I had a procedure called a bilateral salpingectomy - they removed my fallopian tubes entirely, didn't just snip them - and technically if I did change my mind I could still do in vitro.

Really what I've done is just remove the possibility for an accident. I've never wanted kids at all though and finally took the plunge to make damn sure of it.

music_collector 08-03-2022 06:09 PM

Quote:

and technically if I did change my mind I could still do in vitro
It sounds like you really thought your decision through. You even have a backup plan baked in.

Carpe Mortem 08-03-2022 06:15 PM

Of course! And I like that, if I ever did change my mind, I would have to save up money and really think about it. It can never, ever be a split second decision based on temporary biological need for me.

music_collector 08-03-2022 06:23 PM

It's definitely not a split second decision. As a man, I wouldn't take that decision lightly either.

In our case, deciding to have kids took a lot of thought, given the ordeal we went through (IUI, in vitro). There was a big emotional, physical and financial cost.

Carpe Mortem 08-03-2022 06:36 PM

I'm sure it took its toll on you, but you're probably superior parents because of it. Too many people just fall into parenthood because of an accident & their feelings on abortion - and too often their children pay the price. Your twins are fortunate to have parents that clearly wanted and love them very much!

Trollheart 08-03-2022 07:10 PM

I love kids.
Couldn't finish a whole one, though...

The Batlord 08-03-2022 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart (Post 2213177)
I love kids.
Couldn't finish a whole one, though...

I usually have the kids finish me.

music_collector 08-03-2022 09:00 PM

Quote:

I'm sure it took its toll on you, but you're probably superior parents because of it.
I'd like to think we are, but only time will tell. That first year was an absolute killer. There's a reason it's called survival mode.

Kudos to the ladies. The physical pain I saw my wife go through, from trying to conceive all the way to recovering from delivery, there is no way I could have braved it all.

It dawned on me why a woman wouldn't want kids. That's a lot of work, even before the kid pops out!


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