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Old 05-28-2020, 04:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Just got out of the hospital from another suicide attempt. Starting a partial hospitalization program and was officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Taking things back slowly, I'm doing a lot better now. Some people were making fun of me at work and I let it get to me really quickly. Keeping busy trying to get the new shoegaze band up and running. Met a lot of cool people at the hospital and talked to a lot of friends on the other side. Glad I'm alive still, I have projects to finish. My first vinyl single is coming out soon with my friend Connor and I'm working on a compilation record for my label.
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Old 05-28-2020, 06:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
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For those of you who also live in the south, is it even worth it to try and find an outpatient program/commit oneself when suicidal and having an episode? Everything is worse in the south, as we know, and I just have medicaid at the moment, so I'm terrified of ending up in some horrific state mental hospital if things ever get too bad. I always isolate instead of committing myself even when I should definitely be committed. I'm amazed that I'm not dead. Also has anyone else failed to get a solid diagnosis? Every doctor I've seen had a different opinion (bipolar II, BPD, PTSD+OCD, PTSD+BPD) so it feels pointless to join support groups for specific disorders because I simply don't know. It certainly is much more than mere depression. A bit depressed today because I just learned that an old friend (who had type 1 bipolar) died last year.

Anyone else have a mental illness induced bad quarantine haircut? I do! I look terrible!

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Tristan Rosenstock View Post
Just got out of the hospital from another suicide attempt. Starting a partial hospitalization program and was officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Taking things back slowly, I'm doing a lot better now. Some people were making fun of me at work and I let it get to me really quickly. Keeping busy trying to get the new shoegaze band up and running. Met a lot of cool people at the hospital and talked to a lot of friends on the other side. Glad I'm alive still, I have projects to finish. My first vinyl single is coming out soon with my friend Connor and I'm working on a compilation record for my label.
Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear about your suicide attempt (I've been in similar predicaments over the past couple years) but I'm glad you've found a good support group. (NOT having any friends with the same mental illness is terrible. It's so much easier to explain oneself when you do. It's a nightmare otherwise-- after an episode or something, I mean.)
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Old 05-28-2020, 08:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by goldendoodle View Post
Every doctor I've seen had a different opinion (bipolar II, BPD, PTSD+OCD, PTSD+BPD) so it feels pointless to join support groups for specific disorders because I simply don't know.
^ If there's such a confusing overlap of symptoms, my guess, from a position of total ignorance, is that a support group that's only an approximate fit is better than no support group at all.

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Anyone else have a mental illness induced bad quarantine haircut? I do! I look terrible!
^ Don't worry, we'll all be looking like hippies soon enough! Better that than infected.
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And take care every one of you who is struggling here. Talk to others, walk outdoors, be very careful with recreational drugs - that would be my advice.
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Old 05-28-2020, 05:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Tristan Rosenstock View Post
Just got out of the hospital from another suicide attempt. Starting a partial hospitalization program and was officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Taking things back slowly, I'm doing a lot better now. Some people were making fun of me at work and I let it get to me really quickly. Keeping busy trying to get the new shoegaze band up and running. Met a lot of cool people at the hospital and talked to a lot of friends on the other side. Glad I'm alive still, I have projects to finish. My first vinyl single is coming out soon with my friend Connor and I'm working on a compilation record for my label.
I'm happy you're still with us, man. Send me a link to that single when you get a chance.

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Originally Posted by goldendoodle View Post
Also has anyone else failed to get a solid diagnosis? Every doctor I've seen had a different opinion (bipolar II, BPD, PTSD+OCD, PTSD+BPD) so it feels pointless to join support groups for specific disorders because I simply don't know. It certainly is much more than mere depression.
Same boat. I've had some great therapists and psychiatrists, but I've been diagnosed with at least 4 different things over the course of my life in order to find out what my deal was. I've definitely mellowed out, and I couldn't tell you what I had/have, but the general consensus between my doctors right now is that I most likely have a combination of chronic depression and anxiety.
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