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Old 09-26-2019, 11:26 AM   #721 (permalink)
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"Charles, do you have anything to say to the group?"

*begins reading from volume 1*

"And on the twenty-fifth day of July in the year of Our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty-six was birthed a piteous mutant child..."
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 09-26-2019, 11:30 AM   #722 (permalink)
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Whew. I couldn't do one session for six hours. Holy moly.
Sounds like a grind no doubt but that’s awesome she has access to it

and most importantly and even triumphantly congratulations for taking action Wolf

Wolf today:



Wolf tomorrow:

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Old 09-26-2019, 12:39 PM   #723 (permalink)
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Lucem my dude are you bipolar 1 or 2? It's looking like there is going to be a new diagnosis in my future.
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Old 09-26-2019, 12:54 PM   #724 (permalink)
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Lucem my dude are you bipolar 1 or 2? It's looking like there is going to be a new diagnosis in my future.
Absolutely Bipolar 1 but I don't remember my official diagnosis. I know myself and I know I get extreme mania and I have been delusional, but it's weird because I second guess everything I do or think so typically I know when I'm being delusional if that makes sense.

Edit: That's kind of a good thing because now you know how to better deal with things and hopefully can treat it with medication.

What about you, Elph? Are you Bipolar 1 or 2?
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

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Old 09-26-2019, 01:09 PM   #725 (permalink)
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you diagnosed me with bipolar disorder I have no official diagnosis for that

I saw professionals at a young age because it was apparent early on I had problems

tbh I don't have much recollection of it, I believe I did receive a preliminary diagnosis but then **** hit the fan in my domestic life and that didn't get followed up on
You said you were diagnosed with manic depression and manic depression is the old medical term for bipolar disorder I just don't like calling it manic depression because it's a misleading term.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 09-26-2019, 01:11 PM   #726 (permalink)
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ya the diagnosis I have been told is some kind of depression, major, manic

I'm not sure because I'm getting it second hand from my Mama

and I have not seen any kind of doctor nonetheless a mental health one since I was maybe 14
Why not?
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 09-26-2019, 01:26 PM   #727 (permalink)
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I don't know the exact difference between being maladjusted and having a diagnosed disorder, but I kinda prefer not to categorize myself that way in light of some members def having these things

is what I mean to say
Makes sense.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 09-26-2019, 02:10 PM   #728 (permalink)
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My team is leading toward bp 2 for me. I don't think I've ever had a real manic episode, no delusions or anything, but hypomania definitely fits. I turned down their offers for benzos and other sedatives/mood stabilizers, but I am starting a new blood pressure medication (???) to address ptsd nightmares, and we're going above the FDA approved amount of prozac
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Old 09-26-2019, 02:20 PM   #729 (permalink)
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My team is leading toward bp 2 for me. I don't think I've ever had a real manic episode, no delusions or anything, but hypomania definitely fits. I turned down their offers for benzos and other sedatives/mood stabilizers, but I am starting a new blood pressure medication (???) to address ptsd nightmares.
I've been getting a lot of those too but they aren't like nightmares they're just dreams that put me into an emotional state and I'll wake up slamming my head into what ever I'm laying on or something. I honestly prefer them to being awake most of the time.

How does blood pressure medication affect that?
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 09-26-2019, 02:26 PM   #730 (permalink)
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I've been getting a lot of those too but they aren't like nightmares they're just dreams that put me into an emotional state and I'll wake up slamming my head into what ever I'm laying on or something. I honestly prefer them to being awake most of the time.

How does blood pressure medication affect that?
I guess it slows down the adrenaline that's triggered metabolically. I get them constantly, I'm always cycling between 4-5 different nightmare/dreams (I hear you, they aren't like running for my life nightmares just somatic flashbacks). They're always the same and I always become lucid once I recognize the scene and then I experience the rest like I'm directing the characters.

Group was ok. We talked about "urge surfing." There are a lot of people in recovery there, and it's interesting how much I can relate my experiences with eating disorders with their experiences of addiction. I don't think it's going to be enough for me, I need more individualized attention, but it's a good start. And I'm only like the 3rd worst looking in the room so.
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I know what real life is, I've been living in it for well over a decade
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WWWP is pretty but should be cancelled (digital blackface)

#DEMODFROWNLAND
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