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Old 06-26-2018, 10:07 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Depression has a really nasty card up its sleeve. It can make you not want to heal.

In Calcutta, I walked around the slums near that famous bridge. I watched dozens, maybe hundreds, of crippled kids in all different states of disrepair. I figured out something really horrific. These children with crippling disabilities started off with mendable injuries that went untreated. A simple infection that spread out of control, easily treated with antibiotics waiting for paying patients at clinics and hospitals literally within sight. A limp upsets other joints and muscles eventually permanently. No prosthetics and misuse causing the limbs to be eaten away by misuse and time.

I thought my injuries had been properly healed but now I know that the same kind of deformities were growing in my warped mind. A person can overcome adversity but a child can’t overcome abuse. 40 years later your brain is just 40 years more warped out.
I feel this.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

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Old 06-29-2018, 10:04 AM   #42 (permalink)
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https://theconversation.com/extreme-...your-dna-99009

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Studies of children who have experienced major early childhood stress reveal that dysfunction in many organs in the body years after the stressful event, raising the risk of heart disease, lung disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, poor school performance, drug abuse and mental illness. Scientists in the institute where I work have recently shown that the sensitivity of DNA packaging to environmental stress is greater during the first five years of life than all of the rest of life combined
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:23 AM   #43 (permalink)
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Yeah, I'm mentally ill alright idk what's wrong with me though cause I'm too scared to see a professional or change my life in any drastic way like that but part of me also doesn't want my personality to change at all.
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:26 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Yeah, I'm mentally ill alright idk what's wrong with me though cause I'm too scared to see a professional or change my life in any drastic way like that but part of me also doesn't want my personality to change at all.
I feel this too. I'm so used to my current way of living that I just don't see a reason to change.
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:26 AM   #45 (permalink)
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Yeah, I'm mentally ill alright idk what's wrong with me though cause I'm too scared to see a professional or change my life in any drastic way like that but part of me also doesn't want my personality to change at all.
How well are you functioning? Job? Love? Social?

What kind of symptoms are you exhibiting?

Drug or alcohol addictions?
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:29 AM   #46 (permalink)
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I feel this too. I'm so used to my current way of living that I just don't see a reason to change.
Has it caused you to become dysfunctional? It sounds like you make it to work and ****...

Do you use opioids?
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:31 AM   #47 (permalink)
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Has it caused you to become dysfunctional? It sounds like you make it to work and ****...

Do you use opioids?
Not at all, surprisingly. I just get into a mental state where I just "move". Most times I don't even really remember what happened the day before because I was in total auto pilot mode. But it's nice because I don't let any monotonous bull**** bug me because I'm usually too stoned to care.
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:31 AM   #48 (permalink)
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This is so important, it's a big topic in my field.

Another resource: https://acestoohigh.com/

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ACEs are adverse childhood experiences that harm children’s developing brains and lead to changing how they respond to stress and damaging their immune systems so profoundly that the effects show up decades later. ACEs cause much of our burden of chronic disease, most mental illness, and are at the root of most violence.

“ACEs” comes from the CDC-Kaiser Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, a groundbreaking public health study that discovered that childhood trauma leads to the adult onset of chronic diseases, depression and other mental illness, violence and being a victim of violence, as well as financial and social problems.
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:46 AM   #49 (permalink)
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Not at all, surprisingly. I just get into a mental state where I just "move". Most times I don't even really remember what happened the day before because I was in total auto pilot mode. But it's nice because I don't let any monotonous bull**** bug me because I'm usually too stoned to care.
Just stoned on weed, you mean?
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Old 06-29-2018, 10:47 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Just stoned on weed, you mean?
Yeah. Nothin else.
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