Official Mental Health Thread

[Inkdaub]

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

To other people who have been diagnosed major depression disorder or something similar

This is obviously a personal question but how often do you contemplate suicide?

Do most depressed people think about it everyday?

Like who the **** is really going to mark yes on those questionnaires?

What if you think about it a lot, have a plan, but don’t really think you’re going to go through with it - wtf is up with that?

Everyday. It feels very mundane. Like I am certain that is how I will end up but it isn't of immediate concern.

One of the things that's uncomfortable about it is knowing "normal" people don't do that.

[OccultHawk]

Originally Posted by Inkdaub

Everyday. It feels very mundane. Like I am certain that is how I will end up but it isn't of immediate concern.

One of the things that's uncomfortable about it is knowing "normal" people don't do that.

If you’re planning on it as an out at a certain point I recommend also planning if possible for another path that involves living until a natural death occurs. Speaking from experience, if you’re planning on suicide at a certain point, when that point arises it’s not mundane at all but an incredibly taxing ordeal and, perhaps fortunately in my case, very difficult to follow through. My point is, if you’re not up for it, and you’ve let your life go to **** figuring on it, you’ll just be waiting around to die, miserable, in a pile of ****.

[Inkdaub]

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

If you’re planning on it as an out at a certain point I recommend also planning if possible for another path that involves living until a natural death occurs. Speaking from experience, if you’re planning on suicide at a certain point, when that point arises it’s not mundane at all but an incredibly taxing ordeal and, perhaps fortunately in my case, very difficult to follow through. My point is, if you’re not up for it, and you’ve let your life go to **** figuring on it, you’ll just be waiting around to die, miserable, in a pile of ****.

You're right. I think about this often. I like the way you phrased this post.

I'm not actively planning anything at all. I just feel like it will happen. Splitting hairs I know.

I was mostly answering the question in your post because I think stuff like this is always kept hidden and the mention of the questionnaires caught my eye.

[goldendoodle]

I have returned from the mental hospital. According to the other patients it's the best psych ward in the area. It was a pretty laid-back place. There was only one awful tech (did not like how she spoke to the sweet schizophrenic girl), the rest were good. It was impossible to sleep there at night though, they (the night staff) were so noisy. Yelling across the hall and slamming doors for NO reason. But I had a fun little clique so it wasn't too terrible.

I went there just to get my medications sorted out as quickly as possible. I was tired of waiting a month between each appointment and medication adjustment, and frustrated with that particular doctor not wanting me to be on "too many meds" when clearly two is not enough (I feel I generally need either a mood stabilizer or antipsychotic to balance out an antidepressant, plus an anxiety med.) Well, that and I was pretty sure that I would start spiraling sharply downward within a couple weeks if I didn't commit myself and let someone else handle it. Sometimes I need to be forced to start taking meds again.

The doctor basically said they were trying to figure out if I was bipolar or not. But that's the diagnosis I got for now.

Am now on Buspar, Effexor, Doxepin, and Prazosin. (not sure why they gave me the Prazosin, forgot to ask and they didn't bother to explain that one). So far, the effexor is making me feel very AWAKE as though I've taken adderall but I assume that may pass. I just hope it doesn't make me manic like wellbutrin did.

The social worker made me appointments for a nearby therapist and psychiatrist so hopefully that works out also. The doctor got me an appointment at a sleep clinic so I can FINALLY find out if I have sleep apnea or not.

[The Batlord]

Glad you had fun.

[goldendoodle]

It was absolutely not fun; there was this religious lady who would hog the other smaller lounge room and play gospel on the tv while dancing dramatically and scream-singing for up to an hour at a time.

edit: also I was at first under the impression that I could check myself out any time, however that wasn't quite the case, as you had to wait 72 hours before you could leave. I had to lie a bit about some things to get them to let me go when they did.

[The Batlord]

Why are you contradicting yourself?

[goldendoodle]

I'm contradicting myself because I sarcastically said I had a fun little clique?

[The Batlord]

Why would you say it wasn't fun when you had a singing religious crazy to watch?

[Raime]

Glad you're back, I'm back on my meds again as well. I'm not exactly where I want to be right now, but I've been doing stuff around the house, and not being as depressed and sleeping all of my time away. ****, I fixed up the rabbit corner so it looks a lot better now and rabbit pee will be super easy to clean if they have accidents now.