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04-16-2020, 10:19 PM | #2111 (permalink) | |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
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04-19-2020, 02:04 PM | #2112 (permalink) | |
ask me about cosmology
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Posts: 8,993
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Today I freaked out trying to setup a new laptop Missed out on life's memories today because of it too. |
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04-19-2020, 02:16 PM | #2113 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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visible_confusion.jpg
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04-19-2020, 02:19 PM | #2114 (permalink) | |
Cuter Than Post Malone.
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 4,978
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I understand. They always make setting anything up on a computer 10X harder than it needs to be.
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Art Is Dead. Buy My ****. |
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04-19-2020, 02:23 PM | #2115 (permalink) |
ask me about cosmology
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Milky Way Galaxy
Posts: 8,993
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I had plans and that would have created memories but I changed that once my laptop setup froze. I thought I just wasted the money for it or something and couldnt get the setup to finish. It barely finished when I got home and was yelling at the walls and stuff.
yeah, it was mainly the frozen setup, I agree though everything is always so much paper work or logins and passwords :/ Last edited by Mindy; 04-19-2020 at 07:57 PM. |
04-22-2020, 11:21 PM | #2116 (permalink) | ||
midnite roles around
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 5,299
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So this is sort of an embarrassing post to write, but as it turns out I am not non-binary.
A symptom of BPD is a fragile self-image, and that has manifested in myself and other accounts that I've read as frantically reaching for labels to describe one's self. Over the years what that meant for me was thinking I was asexual, demisexual, allosexual, bisexual, non-binary, switching between these labels every 6 months or so. I think some of you might remember a time on this forum where I described myself as asexual, when it turns out I have a pretty average (and straight as hell) sex drive. Instead of thinking of myself as part of the problem of a straight person infiltrating queer spaces, I instead think that this experience in my life has given me more empathy and understanding for the LGBTQ+ community from a standpoint that many straight people are not able to experience, my friend group for a time in 2019 dating a specific person consisted of mostly trans people, and one of my closest friends since 2018 is trans. I guess one of the reasons I'm saying this is that I'm confused as to how to come un-out to the friends who have for over a year respected my pronouns and thought of me as trans. Would doing so make me lose these friends due to the misunderstanding? At least a few of them I'm really scared to come out to as they now openly display parts of their sexuality and gender partially as a result of my openness in my gender. That being said, gender is certainly a construct and since I was young I always questioned gender roles and didn't really consider myself "masculine", but that doesn't necessarily negate the non-binary label. I have no desire to transition and while I don't display a lot of masculine characteristics in my personality, I don't display a lot of feminine characteristics either. I've never been attracted to men, and I've only ever dated women, outside of trying to date a man when I was confused by my queer label and trying to be open to it. But alas. I'm a straight male and I'm comfortable with that fact now.
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04-22-2020, 11:25 PM | #2117 (permalink) | ||
midnite roles around
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 5,299
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Other than that realization, that I came to a few months ago, I've been doing pretty good mentally. Been seeing my therapist every month and going to DBT group weekly before the coronavirus started. I'm starting a new shoegaze band after leaving Black Bouquet and working on an original score for a Hungarian horror flick called Souloma.
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04-22-2020, 11:27 PM | #2118 (permalink) |
county fair energy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,773
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I understand the bpd identity sh it, but I think there is nothing wrong with exploring your identity. Isn't the the point that gender is fluid anyway? You caused no harm, I think it's great you've been able to do so much introspection.
If your friends can't handle that you are straight or cis, fu ck them, for real. |
04-22-2020, 11:38 PM | #2119 (permalink) | ||
SOPHIE FOREVER
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: East of the Southern North American West
Posts: 35,541
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Takes a lot of self-awareness to recognize these kinds of things in ourselves, glad that you're keeping that and your mental health intact and that you're taking your music to new places. As far as your friends go, just be honest with your identity. If they're ****ty about that then they're just going to make you feel ****ty about something else later.
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. |
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04-22-2020, 11:40 PM | #2120 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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I don't know is it? My entire experience with trying to mentally and emotionally gauge gender and sexuality it's that it's a lot of uncategorizable nonsense where the ideas we're served by society are simply aggressively confusing nonsense that the majority take for gospel cause they're little better than monkeys and don't know what to believe in the first place, and that **** makes figuring out just what the **** your consciousness is into trying to figure out if some person at a club under strobe lights is attractive while you're completely obliterated.
I mean maybe gender is fluid maybe it's not but I'm calmly dubious about any of the declarations made by anybody at this point tbh, be they douchebag normie or woke weirdo.
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