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#1991 (permalink) |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
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The culture here has changed a lot and for the better. There’s worse places to be.
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#1992 (permalink) |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
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What kind of sick
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#1993 (permalink) |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
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Are you seeing a therapist, presently?
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#1994 (permalink) |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
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I’m not you. But I thought that but my new therapist is helping.
I’m not saying what will what won’t work but if read back I was hard headed against therapy until this one. Frown pointing out that I always have an excuse against therapy helped. You may not even have access. Idk If you do use whatever resources you have. Including your folks if that’s what’s needed. These are hard times probably only getting worse. Use everything you can get. No shame in it dude. Sorry to keep back tracking but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily right. You know the circumstances but just in general use everything, within reason, in your arsenal if you’re feeling like that. I’m not going to be corny and say it gets better but for a lot of people it does.
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#1995 (permalink) |
Forever Electro
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 511
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I finally psyched myself up and sent my former close friend a message. I told them why I hadn't been talking to them, and that I had been out of the country, but not much else. They're a nice person and all, but they're way more extroverted than I am, and it felt like my stomach was about to implode reading back their responses. I don't know if I can be friends with this person again, **** doesn't feel good, and I can't seem to get past this feeling of anxiety and dread.
Edit: I know I'm being a whiny bitch, but it's really hard to say what the hell the problem is with me, because I have no clue. I wish I knew, because I'm being pretty dickish to this person I'm sure. Last edited by Raime; 04-16-2020 at 08:45 PM. |
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#1996 (permalink) | |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
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#1997 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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visible_confusion.jpg
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#1998 (permalink) | |
Cuter Than Post Malone.
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 4,978
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I understand. They always make setting anything up on a computer 10X harder than it needs to be.
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#1999 (permalink) | ||
midnite roles around
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 5,305
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So this is sort of an embarrassing post to write, but as it turns out I am not non-binary.
A symptom of BPD is a fragile self-image, and that has manifested in myself and other accounts that I've read as frantically reaching for labels to describe one's self. Over the years what that meant for me was thinking I was asexual, demisexual, allosexual, bisexual, non-binary, switching between these labels every 6 months or so. I think some of you might remember a time on this forum where I described myself as asexual, when it turns out I have a pretty average (and straight as hell) sex drive. Instead of thinking of myself as part of the problem of a straight person infiltrating queer spaces, I instead think that this experience in my life has given me more empathy and understanding for the LGBTQ+ community from a standpoint that many straight people are not able to experience, my friend group for a time in 2019 dating a specific person consisted of mostly trans people, and one of my closest friends since 2018 is trans. I guess one of the reasons I'm saying this is that I'm confused as to how to come un-out to the friends who have for over a year respected my pronouns and thought of me as trans. Would doing so make me lose these friends due to the misunderstanding? At least a few of them I'm really scared to come out to as they now openly display parts of their sexuality and gender partially as a result of my openness in my gender. That being said, gender is certainly a construct and since I was young I always questioned gender roles and didn't really consider myself "masculine", but that doesn't necessarily negate the non-binary label. I have no desire to transition and while I don't display a lot of masculine characteristics in my personality, I don't display a lot of feminine characteristics either. I've never been attracted to men, and I've only ever dated women, outside of trying to date a man when I was confused by my queer label and trying to be open to it. But alas. I'm a straight male and I'm comfortable with that fact now.
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#2000 (permalink) | ||
midnite roles around
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 5,305
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Other than that realization, that I came to a few months ago, I've been doing pretty good mentally. Been seeing my therapist every month and going to DBT group weekly before the coronavirus started. I'm starting a new shoegaze band after leaving Black Bouquet and working on an original score for a Hungarian horror flick called Souloma.
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