Thats good :beer:

I'm sorry that happened and I don't mean to be nosey but did my mom have anything to do with this?

Yeah, you should tell her she's getting a bit possessive about the other women in my life

I'll do it in front of my stepdad just to see what happens.

This may be the most taboo of all mental health issues but I am so full of rage.

There’s details that I just don’t want to explain but I feel I’ve been treated unfairly and for about two months I’ve been stewing with anger and revenge fantasies.

All my life I’ve been the type to hold a grudge forever but this is visceral I can literally feel my skin tingling with savage hatred and the untenable humiliation of coming out a loser in a certain situation. It’s really very typical life isn’t fair **** but I can’t move past it.

I wouldn’t even want to go into detail with a therapist about it.

I swear it feels like my mind insists on torturing itself.

That sounds horrible. Are you finding any was to vent?

Been there way too many times and it's always manifested in the most unhealthy ways. I'm sorry you're going through it. The worst part is never the anger but not having a way to let it out.

Well like this morning at work everyone on our crew has done time in prison except me. They’re all solid good people and they understand these kinds of frustrations more deeply than I do if personal experience is your gauge. There’s a couple in particular that I’ve asked a lot about how you move on. There’s no good answer really. They just persevere. These two in particular, I really doubt they would’ve ever been in the system if they were white. They had months (years counting probation and fines and all that) stolen from them because of their skin color. The committed crimes for sure but white people dont pay those kinds of penalties for what they did. If I were them I don’t think I could stand it I’d be so ****ing bitter. It’s unfair a thousand times what I’m talking about. If it’s beneficial for me talking with them it’s probably just the stark reminder that prison is real and I don’t want anything to do with it.

Thanks

I just gotta take the L and move on but goddamn it’s a bitter ****ing pill

It's best not to dwell on these things, but if you're not processing the feelings you have about it then it's going to creep up on you eventually. If you can find a way to let the anger out it will help you move past it. Art is one of the best ways to do it, that I've found.