Also weirdly the book I read back then that told me how to meditate said to keep my eyes open and a decade later when I tried I realized I had developed this tick where I couldn't physically keep my eyes in one place for longer than a few seconds cause my eyes would jerk slightly to the right constantly like visual hiccups. I couldn't stop it for the life of me so I gave up in frustration. Still don't know what that's about or if it's still a thing.

I'm no good at meditation

Just boring to me tbh

Half the time I just end up wanting to go to sleep

I got a new script today: Wellbutrin

The doc says she wants me to ride it out even if I don’t like the side effects at first

We also talked about me kicking Xanax this February

I’m sick of that drug tbh - I’m addicted though

I’m going to talk to the chef about it and how it might affect work and try

Cross your fingers and hope this is the one.

What kind of side effects?

She said it might give me headaches and nausea for the first couple weeks

She said if it’s still tripping me up after two weeks then I can give up but if I ride it out that stuff will probably go away.

The reason she thinks I’ll get the side effects is because the last one did

But the last one was a headache so severe it was untenable so you know hoping it’s not that because having my head splitting open doesn’t exactly cheer me up

I forget all their names but another one made my hard ons mushy and just no on that

A hard dick is just too much to lose

Might as well ask me to stop listening to jazz

I mean it's not like you're going to be getting erections for much longer either way.

Prozac is definitely an orgasm-denyer. But so is severe depression.

Different strokes for different folks

Nausea is something I would say is worth pushing through, headaches not so much. Are you going to be increasing your dose? That definitely prolongues side effects.