What is love?

The Batlord · 01-28-2018, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Luckily for me I'm too ugly and boring for any woman to bother with me, but even if they wanted to, I couldn't as you all know. And on that note, at the risk of being even more of a boring, preaching **** than I normally am, I suppose it could be said that love is also giving of yourself to another person without any real regard for yourself. Giving up your job of thirty years to look after someone who needs you desperately to be there for them, forgetting all your friends and contenting yourself with this new existence you have to live.

Putting someone else first - always - and not resenting it. Except sometimes. But not blaming them for it. Putting your life on hold, permanently, for their sake, always being concerned with what's best for them, even if it's not what you consider is best for you, and just being as unselfish as you can be. Maybe.

When Karen's SKY TV was on the blink and she had nothing to watch for three weeks till an engineer could get to us, I unplugged mine and lent it to her, and contented myself with watching Netflix on the Fire HD stick. Now that's love.

And she won't even let you hit it smh.

~~MicShazam~~ · 01-28-2018, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Luckily for me I'm too ugly and boring for any woman to bother with me, but even if they wanted to, I couldn't as you all know. And on that note, at the risk of being even more of a boring, preaching **** than I normally am, I suppose it could be said that love is also giving of yourself to another person without any real regard for yourself. Giving up your job of thirty years to look after someone who needs you desperately to be there for them, forgetting all your friends and contenting yourself with this new existence you have to live.

Putting someone else first - always - and not resenting it. Except sometimes. But not blaming them for it. Putting your life on hold, permanently, for their sake, always being concerned with what's best for them, even if it's not what you consider is best for you, and just being as unselfish as you can be. Maybe.

When Karen's SKY TV was on the blink and she had nothing to watch for three weeks till an engineer could get to us, I unplugged mine and lent it to her, and contented myself with watching Netflix on the Fire HD stick. Now that's love.

There is no doubt that what you're doing for you sister is real love. It's heroic, really. I haven't ever met anyone who's sacrificed so much for someone else.

Anteater · 01-30-2018, 10:48 PM

I'm in a LDR right now but has been challenging at times. Hopefully I'll be able to swing over to the Philippines a little later this year and get that fiance visa sooner rather than later.

OccultHawk · 01-31-2018, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MicShazam

There is no doubt that what you're doing for you sister is real love. It's heroic, really. I haven't ever met anyone who's sacrificed so much for someone else.

Church

Chula Vista · 01-31-2018, 04:41 PM

Linda and I somehow managed 13,875 days together. The vast majority was really, really good. Maybe if life could have found its way to cut us some ****ing slack the past 10 years we'd still be together.

On the plus side we're still getting along great. She's coming out mid-month to celebrate Mike's BD with everyone and to go through what's left of our stuff one last time.

We talk just about every day and except for one conversation that started getting stressed (and where we mutually agreed to end the call) it's all been very pleasant and lighthearted.

Chiomara · 02-01-2018, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MicShazam

I think this is why I can't really see myself with any woman I've ever met. I just know we won't really want the same things from life and won't be able to find some kind of daily rhythm that wont make one of us unhappy. I even ended a relationship back in 2011 and no one understood why. If she was so sweet and cheerful and we had fun together, why end it? But I just saw the boredom coming. She was a couch potato, liked watching daytime TV, didn't really have any interests the way I do, so I felt like I had to put a big part of my personality away behind lock and key when we were together. Doomed from the start, even though we never had a bad day together.

Pretty much this. Which is why these days I'm much more fond of the idea of living with a bunch of friends who I love rather than just one person (a spouse or a boyfriend/girlfriend) who could vanish from my life any time if something soured between us romantically.

grindy · 02-01-2018, 05:17 PM

At this point I can't imagine living with anyone. I've been living alone since I was 16 and never had a girlfriend move in. I'm just way too comfortable with being by myself.

The Batlord · 02-01-2018, 05:51 PM

I think you kind of have to be a boring normie who has no particular interests to expect to find The One without it being some crazy event where you get struck by lightning. Plenty of ordinary people can probably find someone they can live with forever when neither person has any particularly high level personality qwerks. Of course the 50% divorce rate kind of questions even that.

Trollheart · 02-01-2018, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiomara

Pretty much this. Which is why these days I'm much more fond of the idea of living with a bunch of friends who I love rather than just one person (a spouse or a boyfriend/girlfriend) who could vanish from my life any time if something soured between us romantically.

Welcome back, Chio. Really sorry to hear about your brother. Let us know if there's anything we can do or if you even want to discuss it.

Chiomara · 02-02-2018, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I think you kind of have to be a boring normie who has no particular interests to expect to find The One without it being some crazy event where you get struck by lightning. Plenty of ordinary people can probably find someone they can live with forever when neither person has any particularly high level personality qwerks. Of course the 50% divorce rate kind of questions even that.

Yeah, there's simply no sense in hoping or holding out for such an event. Hermitism is the only sensible route. If one gets lonely then there's always more dogs and cats and goats to adopt.

01-31-2018, 04:41 PM	#45 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Linda and I somehow managed 13,875 days together. The vast majority was really, really good. Maybe if life could have found its way to cut us some ****ing slack the past 10 years we'd still be together. On the plus side we're still getting along great. She's coming out mid-month to celebrate Mike's BD with everyone and to go through what's left of our stuff one last time. We talk just about every day and except for one conversation that started getting stressed (and where we mutually agreed to end the call) it's all been very pleasant and lighthearted. __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

02-01-2018, 05:17 PM	#47 (permalink)
grindy . Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: . Posts: 7,201	At this point I can't imagine living with anyone. I've been living alone since I was 16 and never had a girlfriend move in. I'm just way too comfortable with being by myself. __________________ *A smell of petroleum prevails throughout.*