John Wilkes Booth

hello friends

i come today to speak about islam. this isn't an edgy thread, friends. i have had friends who are muslim. i love muslims, and muslims love me. nobody does islam better than me. i sold an apartment to a muslim gentleman for 10 million dollars the other day, what's not to love? i dated a muslim chick for a while. she was pretty cool. the guy who ran the corner store next to my house in florida was also muslim. his name was ishmael. he was also pretty chill. ishamel is also abraham's oft forgotten son, the one whose lineage muslims believe the prophet muhammad descended from.

i know i have said some not so nice things about islam in the past. i have made remarks about their scruffy looking beards and their prudish ways. but this isn't a diss islam thread. it's just a general islamic discussion thread. i notice the forum subsection title has religion in it. i believe islam is a religion. thus i believe this thread is in the right section.

i was speaking to frownland the other day about the quran, and it reminded of the times i've looked into islam in the past. so i downloaded the first 10 surahs from youtube, in the format of an arab guy singing the verses in arabic and then an echo-y voice sounding guy saying the meaning in english. it's pretty chill to listen to. has a sort of meditative vibe to it. a sample:



the quran is pretty different from the bible, in style. the bible is a compilation of texts based on different oral traditions from different eras and religious perspectives. both christianity and judaism contain liberal sects that regard the bible as something written by man, and approximating a message from god rather than being the perfect, inerrant word of god. there are of course fundamentalists that take the opposite approach, but those ppl are crazy imo.

but the quran is a bit different, because the narrative is that the oral traditions on which the quran is based come from a single source. a single man's words, inspired directly from an encounter with an angel of god. so one of islam's main selling points is reliability. this is why a new book was deemed necessary by the creator, in their eyes. because the message god had given to the jews and christians had been corrupted by their own culture and politics.

so the quran isn't a narrative, like the bible is. it's more like stream of consciousness style **** talking by allah about how great allah is, how allah likes those who fear allah, how allah made a great universe and its evil forces that have corrupted it and lead to anything unpleasant, and a return to dedicated worship of allah is a moral imperative, and those who fulfill it will be rewarded with paradise, with oasis. those who don't will be tortured and punished x 1000

so anyway i was listening to the quran the other day at break... and for some reason i misjudged how far the gas station that i walked to was from my work. so i had to ask a stranger for a ride back.

it's the south, and so people are relatively friendly. and he gave me a ride. it was a bit awkward though cause i forgot to turn the quran off and my headphones were still going in my pocket. so in the silence of his car you could vaguely hear the islamic singing in the background. and i didn't even attempt to explain it away, i just didn't acknowledge it. but i wonder what he must've thought . anyone here that i mention the quran/islam to says "it says to kill christians"

any islamic thoughts, or thoughts on islam, my friends?

The Batlord

That is one of the best stories I've ever heard.

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Plankton

I have a friend that became a Muslim. When he divorced his wife, he needed a place to stay, so I offered him a room at my place I had at the time. There were times when I'd walk past his room and he'd be praying, using a little rug. This went on for a few weeks, and it finally dawned on me that something wasn't right. I confronted him one day to tell him: "You know your rug is facing north/south right?" His eyes widened and as he bolted for his prayer spot to check and correct this deficiency. I thought it was a bit funny. He's now a borderline Scientologist, but the craziness of all that is slowly melting away and he's becoming what I remember what was once my friend. He's a great guy, just a little confused.

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The Batlord

No offense to your friend, since I don't know him and you seem like you're probably a decent judge of character (ex-wife notwithstanding ), but I think people in general who convert to another religion are probably more than a bit crazy. Most people don't really care enough to worry whether or not their religion is "correct", let alone if another is better.

It always seems to be a religion wildly different than the one they were acculturated to as well. You don't hear much about Christians converting from being Baptists to Presbyterians. It's always being Born Again, or Islam, or Scientology, or whatever.

I knew a truck driver at my friend's dad's company who converted to Messianic Judaism, and while he was a cool guy, he was just a tad off. I know nothing about Messianic Judaism, besides the basic premise, so when he told me about it, I asked him, "Oh, you mean Jews for Jesus?", and he got all offended. It was pretty funny.

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Plankton

Pretty much what I've noticed too. He does a hell of a stand-up though, and he's got Steve Irwin down to a point where there's no line between him and the deceased Aussie. But yeah, there's always been this underlying kind of crazy with him, but I think it's more a lost soul trying to find his way than actual chemical imbalance.

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Frownland

I always wondered if Mohammad had epilepsy or some type of psychosis whenever I heard about his visits from god and such. As far as origins go, it's pretty similar to Revelations. Allegedly John wrote it based on a vision that he had in a cave that made him weak to his knees and affected him physically. Usually when Christianfolk try to warn me that after years of ****ing us, god is finally coming because of the gays or liberals, I point out the similarities between Revelations and the Quran and suggest converting to Islam. It usually has the exact result that you would expect.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

John Wilkes Booth

there is a difference, however, in that different christian sects debate exactly who wrote revelations and how.

where as there is no islamic debate about who wrote the quran. in fact, the quran itself is considered a miracle. they say that the fact that muhammad, who was an illiterate desert dweller, could produce such a glorious text, is in itself proof of the quran's divinity. or as they say in surah 2:23...

Lisnaholic

I don't know much about Islam, but I like the choice of decor they made for their mosques; those geometric designs have withstood the ups and downs of art fashion better than the representational Christian style.

More seriously, I read a book a while ago by an Afghan guy who grumbled about life under the Taliban, and he made this very interesting point:-

The Christians and the Jews were having a hard time when their religions began, what with slavery in Egypt and being crucified by Romans, so their religions look to the future; the world will be a better place when the Messiah comes ....
In contrast, Mohammad was a political leader. He actually established a state in which life was conducted according to his rules. Probably seemed like a good thing at the time, but the unexpected consequence was that Islam is a religion that is always looking backwards. The Taliban took this to an extreme and wanted Afghanistan to live by medieval rules. Hence, tv was not allowed because it wasn't around in Mohammad's model society.

Despite the genuine commitment with which many people embrace Islam, it sounds like there is a fundamental flaw in any religion if it is too intent on living by rules that can't be adapted to new circumstances. "Time's Arrow," as the scientists call it, only moves forwards and as the Luddites discovered, you can try smashing the machines that threaten your livelihood, but it's a losing battle; the future is going to arrive regardless and the more retrograde steps you take, the more isolated you - or your community- will become.

Of course, plenty of religious people thrive in exactly that kind of isolation, but that will always be the exalted few, I suspect - big mistake to make that kind of deprivation compulsory for a whole country, which is what happened in Afghanistan.

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"Am I enjoying this moment? I know of it and perhaps that is enough." - Sybille Bedford, 1953

Mr. Charlie

Funny story, JWB.

In my experience of travelling around Palestine, Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, Egypt and Sinai, Muslims are like anyone else: some of them are great, some are horrible, most are in between.

I've experienced wonderful Muslim hospitality, like being invited in for water and homemade bread by a poor family while travelling through the Sinai desert. And I've experienced Muslim hatred, like being stoned (with stones, not weed) by a mob walking through Hebron in Israel with my Jewish girlfriend.

Ashwell John

@John Wilkes Booth I have read your story. Great story I think I have ever read. Thanks for sharing such a nice story.