DoesntReallyMatter

I'm trying my best.


But, when people say that, "I tried my best!"
It's always a cop out. You could've tried harder.

All I have to say is, if you can't take care of yourself, don't have kids.
BUT, kids sometimes happen. 'Miracle children'...a euphemism.

Poor little buggers, I....welll, you don't know the whole backstory.
But, their mother actually takes very good care of them, and, when I'm mentally balanced. Had a good night's rest, I come out and read to them, hug them,. I mean, I'm a good dad. I would gladly lay down my life for them. But I have these moments, when I just lock the door and stay away because I'll start babbling about my 'glory days' and all these wild adventures I used to have. They don't need to hear all that.


I used to wake up and my dad would be passed out hand reaching to lock the front door, piss all over the floor.
Been locked out of my own house at 6 years old, etc. Laid crying in the street hoping a car would run overme.
Stitches. Etc.

So, hopefully, every generation gets better.
I was stone cold sober for 3 years, then 1 year, before that, etc.
Now....just a bad jag.

Blah blah, try and make an intoxicated person stop talking, right?

lol



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