The Rules of Etiquette

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 04-23-2013, 02:30 AM

I want to discuss the perhaps considered 'old fashioned' rules of etiquette. Are there any particular rules you like to follow? Do you think etiquette is still relevant in modern society? Is it considered to PC now to behave an expected way, even if it makes someone else happy? To a varying degree there has to be some rules, for example not making a scene in front of your friend in a shop. I may have done that recently and regretted it.

My second thought is the following. I think this comes under the same topic. I was fantasizing today how I would love to be able to experience having a man open a door for me, pull my seat out at a restaurant and offer a space on the bus. I think it's such a cool courtesy that I believe men would benefit from too. Because, if a man was to do something like that for me, I would thank him, ask him about his day and perhaps consider him worth meeting again.

A great website for you to learn more about the rules of etiquette is:

Emily Post Etiquette Daily

RoxyRollah · 04-23-2013, 02:43 AM

the first and only book I have ever read on manners was modern manners by pj o'rouke....
it was extreamly helpful as well as hilarious..I now know how to
**** up and excuse myself afterwards...

RoxyRollah · 04-23-2013, 02:56 AM

on the second note yes opening doors for you classy
helping you into a chair classy...
ordering for you control freak...
there is a fine line between old school
class...and taking away my new school independance
I feel like everyone should have been taught manners but
sadly this isn't the case....cruise through any establishment in the us
nowadays and it is very apperent..we could use some grooming

and on the question you posed to me in a different thred
a lady never reveals her age...haha. ;-)

Neapolitan · 04-23-2013, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla

I want to discuss the perhaps considered 'old fashioned' rules of etiquette. Are there any particular rules you like to follow? Do you think etiquette is still relevant in modern society?

Maybe there is need for etiquette in the royal court of England. Like do not speak to the queen first, wait until the queen speaks to you talk first. Carole Middleton, the mother of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, made that faux pas in the carriage after the wedding. The queen was all out of sorts, thinking "Where's the manners on this"? "She's a lively one, I wish she shut her pie hole." I think that is the difference between having etiquette and not having etiquette. You can be a negative Nancy on the inside but if you don't say what you think no one can call you on it. I think if you're not part of any royal court, and you're just a plain commoner as long as your are kind and friendly you don't have to worry too much about etiquette.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla

Is it considered to PC now to behave an expected way, even if it makes someone else happy?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla

To a varying degree there has to be some rules, for example not making a scene in front of your friend in a shop. I may have done that recently and regretted it.

My second thought is the following. I think this comes under the same topic. I was fantasizing today how I would love to be able to experience having a man open a door for me, pull my seat out at a restaurant and offer a space on the bus. I think it's such a cool courtesy that I believe men would benefit from too. Because, if a man was to do something like that for me, I would thank him, ask him about his day and perhaps consider him worth meeting again.

A great website for you to learn more about the rules of etiquette is:

Emily Post Etiquette Daily

I'll hold the door for you any day.

**Janszoon** · 04-23-2013, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla

My second thought is the following. I think this comes under the same topic. I was fantasizing today how I would love to be able to experience having a man open a door for me, pull my seat out at a restaurant and offer a space on the bus. I think it's such a cool courtesy that I believe men would benefit from too. Because, if a man was to do something like that for me, I would thank him, ask him about his day and perhaps consider him worth meeting again.

I hold the door for all people, whether they have ovaries or not. And I'll give up my seat on the bus or train to anyone who looks likes they'd have trouble standing but again ovaries don't come into play one way or the other. I believe good etiquette is a world where all people do these things for each other, regardless of gender.

djchameleon · 04-23-2013, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I believe good etiquette is a world where all people do these things for each other, regardless of gender.

I agree.

I've even had instances where I held the door open for a few people to pass through and then a female comes back and snarks at me that she doesn't need me holding the door for her. I'm like okay and just go about my business and think to myself that she's probably one to complain that chivalry and etiquette is dead but turns around and acts like that. It doesn't matter to me.

Newkie · 04-23-2013, 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I hold the door for all people, whether they have ovaries or not. And I'll give up my seat on the bus or train to anyone who looks likes they'd have trouble standing but again ovaries don't come into play one way or the other. I believe good etiquette is a world where all people do these things for each other, regardless of gender.

This, basically. Although, it would be nice to know an acceptable distance of when not to hold the door open for people. I suppose I usually give them 10-15 metres, with 10 for men and 15 for females, where appropriate.

It can cause problems though, as I work in a fairly large building and if you happen to follow someone through 15 sets of doors while they hold it for you, you kind of run out of things to say...Cheers...Thanks...Ta...before having to revert to a curt nod for the rest of the journey. Perhaps there should be some etiquette for responding...

~~Cuthbert~~ · 04-23-2013, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I hold the door for all people, whether they have ovaries or not. And I'll give up my seat on the bus or train to anyone who looks likes they'd have trouble standing but again ovaries don't come into play one way or the other. I believe good etiquette is a world where all people do these things for each other, regardless of gender.

This. It's just manners.

CrazyVegn · 04-23-2013, 02:00 PM

Yes, absolutely. Men always open doors for me and carry anything over 20 lbs out to my car (like giant boxes of litter) or do the furniture. You might will see this more often (especially w/ car doors and seat pulling) in the southern United States than the northern, for example.
What has bothered me today is my husband farting and burping at the dinner table at least twice each while we were eating. I guess it's different when it is just us but STILL. And IDK if I should really say anything bc I let out a long burp but after he left the table.

RoxyRollah · 04-23-2013, 02:06 PM

I live down south and people don't help me to my car... and I am not sure I want them too... I know the Bundy routine....

04-23-2013, 02:30 AM	#1 (permalink)
Scarlett O'Hara Make it so Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,181	The Rules of Etiquette I want to discuss the perhaps considered 'old fashioned' rules of etiquette. Are there any particular rules you like to follow? Do you think etiquette is still relevant in modern society? Is it considered to PC now to behave an expected way, even if it makes someone else happy? To a varying degree there has to be some rules, for example not making a scene in front of your friend in a shop. I may have done that recently and regretted it. My second thought is the following. I think this comes under the same topic. I was fantasizing today how I would love to be able to experience having a man open a door for me, pull my seat out at a restaurant and offer a space on the bus. I think it's such a cool courtesy that I believe men would benefit from too. Because, if a man was to do something like that for me, I would thank him, ask him about his day and perhaps consider him worth meeting again. A great website for you to learn more about the rules of etiquette is: Emily Post Etiquette Daily __________________ "Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots

04-23-2013, 02:00 PM	#9 (permalink)
CrazyVegn Left due to ban epidemic Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 498	Yes, absolutely. Men always open doors for me and carry anything over 20 lbs out to my car (like giant boxes of litter) or do the furniture. You might will see this more often (especially w/ car doors and seat pulling) in the southern United States than the northern, for example. What has bothered me today is my husband farting and burping at the dinner table at least twice each while we were eating. I guess it's different when it is just us but STILL. And IDK if I should really say anything bc I let out a long burp but after he left the table.