I have taken Olanzapine.

The way I feel about it, Either when I take the pills they give me they are just a placebo and they have no effect on me or they are trying to kill me because the pills have strange side effects not listed. I took some pill Abilify I think it was and I had heart palpitations and I hated it. Even though I think thats listed on the list of side effects. IDK i just flushed the rest of the pills down the toilet. I don't want to take pills because I feel like it's going to turn my brain to mush and kill my creativity. I rather deal with the voices and be creative than stop them and become a veggie.

Olanzapine doesn't affect my creativity nor my work - it does however make me a very chill person - like everything is totally cool - i mean, it's like the whole world could be collapsing around me but I feel fine

it does give me vertigo and sometimes panic attacks, like I'm about to die from cardiac arrest - but it's more from my work stress

I'm already a chill person and I try to not let much get to me. I'm too awesome for that. I need to work on arguing with petty people but I'm slowly getting there. Starting to take the high road more often. I have found other coping methods to deal with my panic attacks.

It's funny, music is probably the one thing that kept me going. No matter what was happening to me, I still had my two basses, an amp and I could still play it.

Writing songs allowed me to have some emotional overspill too...I could write my opinions, feelings and other 'negative' feelings/emotions into something of worth.

TBH it's probably better not to know...


It's heavily dependant on the shul you attend and what country you live in as much as anything. Many Jews, including Orthodoxy, are becoming more and more tolerant towards homosexuality.

I observe people on the streets threatening me with Hell, and I point and laugh... does that count?

(Not a statement against Christians but I find the whole evangelical megaphone thing ridiculous.)

The people who preach on the street like that make Christianity look tacky, in my opinion.

My old church had a better idea...it held a 'live' question and answer session on a main street in my city.People could come to the mike and ask anything they so chose to ask. Some of the questions asked were genuinely clever and the people answering enjoyed it greatly.

Yeah, but these guys are just being ****heads because Tampa is a sleazy town, and has a massive bar area sort of semi-famous for decadence(by America standards). So they just come out with megaphones and yell "YER GOIN TO HELL!!!" To every single passerby.

I'm not big on the threatening nature.

Damn. That's probably not as awesome as it sounds.
I used to know a guy who was schizophrenic. He almost never took his meds. Consequently, he thought he was the cause of 9/11, among other things. And he happened to be one of the best solo guitarists I've ever heard. He wrote amazing stuff, but he would end up burning all his music and notes when he wasn't on his meds because he was so paranoid that someone would break into his [grandmother's] house and steal his ideas and make millions of them.
I never really understood much about schizophrenia, and I've always wondered about the progression from the clear moments, to the un-medicated delusional ones. Is it gradual? What I mean is, what's the nature of the thought process that leads up to a total overtaking of a previously rational state? And does the previously rational state serve as a counter-balance or is it just regarded as a lie you believed?

Schizophrenia is the most interesting mental disorder to me, but I never get any chances to discuss it with anyone suffering from it.

I think the interesting part about Schizophrenia is that it is a bit random and affects different people in different ways. Il Duce will probably tell you his version but to me. I don't take meds anymore because I just hate meds in general. I don't even trust my psychiatrist anymore. She's basically a fucking pusher that's getting paid by the government to drug up people. I don't like the way I feel on meds so I come up with my own coping methods that work for me. I also feel like it zaps the hell out of my creativity when i'm on meds so I decided that meds are not for me. The pills I have taken in the past either they feel to me like they don't have any effect or I get some weird f-ed up side effect.

After all of that I just noticed I probably didn't answer your question but oh well.