Got Feminism?

~~butthead aka 216~~ · 09-28-2013, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

Just because people with the same racial backgrounds tend to group together doesn't mean that every time you see a black person you need to introduce to another black person just automatically assuming that they will get along. That's the issue. It would be the same thing if you want to a party where it was mostly black people there and just because you are white I decide to myself. Let me introduce to the only other white dude at the party because you two are white and you'll get along. I don't get how you don't see the problem with that.

You don't have to buy into it because you get to benefit from it on a daily basis for the rest of your life. That's fine go ahead and play it off like it's not such a big deal or it doesn't help you in certain situations. Also that old woman situation is faulty because if she saw a big black man wearing a suit and tie, she would MOST definitely clutch her purse still. It doesn't matter what attire he's wearing. I understand that you are trying to make it an issue of appearance and that if it was a white kid wearing baggy pants and sideways cap she would do the same and that is also true but the skin color is mostly what she reacts to. I've had it happen to me before but it wasn't a clutching of the purse. The lady was fumbling to find her keys to set the alarm for her car when I walked by in my khakis and sweater vest. I used to dress incredibly preppy in high school.

I've come across this as well and so much growing up and from high school. It's the main reason why I tend to prefer to date every other race besides black women. They have shunned me and taunted me for "talking white" and constantly judging me based off of the shoes I wear that I just don't even bother. So now I have that baggage and I'm super picky when it comes to black women and if I would date them because of that experience.

The main difference between you and the minorities that you deal with is that they have been disenfranchised by the system for so long that their train of thought isn't the same. Sure there are exceptions that will do just as you say but through my experience I've notice it is something that's inside of them that they need to change. They need to change the way that they think. I'm not saying that white people don't need to work hard for what they end up accomplishing but they have greater opportunities just because of what they were born looking like.

Do you even take the time to put yourself into their shoes? You are part of the reason why I went to that poverty simulation last month and we are getting ready to set up another one with a different set of people.

poor family structure as far as parents that aren't raising their kids properly or not having a safe environment at home but the whole male role models is bullshit imo. There are plenty of strong black women that raise their kids properly and they kids haven't gone down the same path and some of the trouble kids that you deal with. My mother raised me just fine and there wasn't a strong male role model in my household growing up. I don't feel like that's necessary. It's just another excuse that people use for bad parenting. I also understand how hard it is to raise your children when you are poor though.

honestly if i was introduced to another white guy at a mainly black party id probably be thankful. i do get the point that race assumptions are wrong, but is it that big of a deal? really, cmon the basis for friendship or introducin ppl to others is havin somethin in common. in this case, its race, and yea that might be pointless and superficial. one black guy could be a rap fan and the other could be karl malone lol. but its somethin on the surface two ppl have in common - commonalities bond ppl together. if i was dropped into an all black neighborhood, i would probably try to talk to the other few white kids for comfort. why? because right off the bat we have somethin in common regardless of how stupid or superficial or pointless it may be

im sorry you had the lady reach for her alarm or whatever. i admit that hasnt happened to me and likely never will. i was usin the old woman example because it comes up most often but i dont think old white women or old ppl are in general are very good representations of general white racism since older ppl are usually pretty outward and unapologetic about their racism. i can see what you are sayin about appearance and i understand its not always an appearnace thing. do i think it usually is?? yes. i think that where a lot of blacks and whites get mixed up. not skin color, but the way someone presents themselves.

good on you for recognizing that stupid pressure to 'act black' which is ironically racist itself. i was workin in a group home for awhile. the one black kid comes in actin all tough and gangster and the other kids are all scared of him. i do the intake and talk to the kid, he tells me where hes from and its some little hicktown farming community. thats an example like the girl i went to high school with. its plaguing the black community, that type of pressure

i truly dont see the extent of the advanages to just bein white. i have this feelin that most ppl in the discussion of 'white privilege' see the white guy as some rich corporate type. and i think a lot of white racism stems from whites who are dirt poor seein all this support or talk about helpin poor minorities and they are thinkin 'wait, what about me??' just like there are small poor black communities, the same are there for whites. im from one. most ppl will live there forever and never make a life for themselves, thats just the way it goes. the whole 'disenfranchised by the system' is such a broad statement. what aspects of the system are u even talkin about??

sure i've tried puttin myself in other ppl's shoes, but here is the ugly truth nobody wants to say and i surely wont say aloud at work or whatever: some ppl are lost causes. im sorry but for whatever reason, ppls lives play out a certain way and some people are beyond repair. it didnt change how i did my job, but i can say with almost certainty that some of the kids ive worked with will end up in jail or dead. i would bet any amount of money on that. and if im willign to say that and be honest about it, let me be honest about grown adults who are even more gone down the path of no return too. you can only try to help people, you cant fix their problems for them or be a miracle. like i said, most of the time the families ive worked with are doing nothing to help themselves and they really want to shift their responsibilities to me so when things inevitably fail, they can justify it to themselves. ive never slacked at my job because there are people who are trying and understand, but theres plenty of people like the example i just gave. i dont care who doesnt wanna talk about it and get real about it, but not all poor people or needy people are doin anything to help themselves

props to your mom, i dont have a dad either and im fine with it. i never made excuses about my actions though i can see where i made mistakes along the way that havin a father around couldve prevented or help. theres a difference between recognizing and blaming. really my point with parenting is that, especially in black communities, theres a lack of fathers around. whereas maybe i had coaches or teachers or whoever to help guide me, maybe there werent many responsible male adults around in those areas. most likely because of bein in prison. but at some point ppl need to stop blamin the system or the man or society or blah or whatever and start lookin at their own communities and themselves

djchameleon · 09-28-2013, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by butthead aka 216

honestly if i was introduced to another white guy at a mainly black party id probably be thankful. i do get the point that race assumptions are wrong, but is it that big of a deal? really, cmon the basis for friendship or introducin ppl to others is havin somethin in common. in this case, its race, and yea that might be pointless and superficial. one black guy could be a rap fan and the other could be karl malone lol. but its somethin on the surface two ppl have in common - commonalities bond ppl together. if i was dropped into an all black neighborhood, i would probably try to talk to the other few white kids for comfort. why? because right off the bat we have somethin in common regardless of how stupid or superficial or pointless it may be

im sorry you had the lady reach for her alarm or whatever. i admit that hasnt happened to me and likely never will. i was usin the old woman example because it comes up most often but i dont think old white women or old ppl are in general are very good representations of general white racism since older ppl are usually pretty outward and unapologetic about their racism. i can see what you are sayin about appearance and i understand its not always an appearnace thing. do i think it usually is?? yes. i think that where a lot of blacks and whites get mixed up. not skin color, but the way someone presents themselves.

good on you for recognizing that stupid pressure to 'act black' which is ironically racist itself. i was workin in a group home for awhile. the one black kid comes in actin all tough and gangster and the other kids are all scared of him. i do the intake and talk to the kid, he tells me where hes from and its some little hicktown farming community. thats an example like the girl i went to high school with. its plaguing the black community, that type of pressure

i truly dont see the extent of the advanages to just bein white. i have this feelin that most ppl in the discussion of 'white privilege' see the white guy as some rich corporate type. and i think a lot of white racism stems from whites who are dirt poor seein all this support or talk about helpin poor minorities and they are thinkin 'wait, what about me??' just like there are small poor black communities, the same are there for whites. im from one. most ppl will live there forever and never make a life for themselves, thats just the way it goes. the whole 'disenfranchised by the system' is such a broad statement. what aspects of the system are u even talkin about??

sure i've tried puttin myself in other ppl's shoes, but here is the ugly truth nobody wants to say and i surely wont say aloud at work or whatever: some ppl are lost causes. im sorry but for whatever reason, ppls lives play out a certain way and some people are beyond repair. it didnt change how i did my job, but i can say with almost certainty that some of the kids ive worked with will end up in jail or dead. i would bet any amount of money on that. and if im willign to say that and be honest about it, let me be honest about grown adults who are even more gone down the path of no return too. you can only try to help people, you cant fix their problems for them or be a miracle. like i said, most of the time the families ive worked with are doing nothing to help themselves and they really want to shift their responsibilities to me so when things inevitably fail, they can justify it to themselves. ive never slacked at my job because there are people who are trying and understand, but theres plenty of people like the example i just gave. i dont care who doesnt wanna talk about it and get real about it, but not all poor people or needy people are doin anything to help themselves

props to your mom, i dont have a dad either and im fine with it. i never made excuses about my actions though i can see where i made mistakes along the way that havin a father around couldve prevented or help. theres a difference between recognizing and blaming. really my point with parenting is that, especially in black communities, theres a lack of fathers around. whereas maybe i had coaches or teachers or whoever to help guide me, maybe there werent many responsible male adults around in those areas. most likely because of bein in prison. but at some point ppl need to stop blamin the system or the man or society or blah or whatever and start lookin at their own communities and themselves

I still disagree with this point that there needs to be a male adult in a child's life or else they will end up in ruin. Sometimes having a father around can be a detriment and be more harmful than do any good especially if the father is a bad influence on their own kid.

I remember the last time we had this similar conversation we realized that we both had similar points even though we disagreed on a few things.

The local work that I do in my community reflects the whole idea of attempting to help people realize that they need to help themselves and to build power in a grass roots way.

CoolBec · 09-28-2013, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

I still disagree with this point that there needs to be a male adult in a child's life or else they will end up in ruin.

Couldn't agree more!