4gotmyPW

Feminism is stupid b/c the objective is silly, therefore it is not needed

Guybrush

I am generally for equality and I feel like that generally also makes me a feminist as women's rights are not as strong as men's rights in many if not most parts of the world - which might be an interesting thing to discuss.

But I feel like this whole thread is basically bringing up this strawman argument where feminism is portrayed as some sort of extremism. What you're currently discussing is not really feminism, or not a good representation of it, but rather the silly attitudes of a minority of stupid people.

Meanwhile, there is a genuine need for the sort of "moderate" feminism that most of us will probably agree is morally sound; in your society and other societies. Maybe a new thread should be made called "moderate feminism" where one can discuss women's legal rights, salaries, parental leave and so on instead of people getting angry over chivalry and politeness.

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Something Completely Different

butthead aka 216

true feminism isnt always extreme but i find generally the people that label themselves feminists are on the extreme and stupid side of the fence. again, same goes for anyone lebeling themselves a male rights activists. these people are not concerned with equal rights as much as they are concerned with everyone feelin sorry for their oppresion and their extreme need for constantly standin on a soapbox

do i think there are some inequalities? sure. do i think theres very many?? do i think they are as pervasive in society as most feminists would have u believe?? no. i think its very minor and largely exagerated (see employment stats).

i also think feminists and at this point, society in general just has a general problem with accepting differences in the sexes. men are generally better at certain things. women are generally better at other certain things. why is there a constant battle to meet some kind of quotea in different sectors of the workplace?? why can we not acknowledge differences and call a spade a spade?

Burning Down

I might get flamed for this but whatever. I think whoever does the asking out on a date is responsible for paying for it. It's silly to say to someone "Can I take you out to dinner?" and then expect them to either go dutch or pay the entire bill at the end. This goes for men AND women - if you ask, then you pay.

The Batlord

The rub being that 99% of the time it's the man asking the woman out, so it's still BS.

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butthead aka 216

lol aka men pay for dates


first date ok


after that lets alternate or split the bill

Burning Down

Ugh, I knew this would happen.

I think a lot of men don't like women to court them because they might feel emasculated in some way. This is something that society has engrained into them and I wish it would go away. So:

a) A woman who'd like to ask a man out probably won't, because he might get scared off by her aggressiveness even if he's interested. So yes, there are probably more women than you would think who want to initiate a date or a relationship, but most of them won't act on it because women are not wired to be the dominant "chaser", if you will.

b) Men are biologically wired to take care of their mate and provide for them. So when the opposite happens they don't know what the fuck to do, and they back off.

I can't say that this is totally accurate, but it's just based off stories from people I know, things I've read about dating on the Internet and in books, and my own experiences with trying to ask people on dates.

And this is generally what happens as a relationship progresses, which is fine and normal. You can't have one person paying for everything.

I should have just kept my mouth shut like a good woman and retreated back into the kitchen.

John Wilkes Booth

Probably at least partially accurate. I think in addition to this, women acting aggressively/asking men out is stigmatized as 'desperate' behavior. Even flirting too aggressively can earn a woman this label.

I think the explanation for this is that women compete as passive selectors in the same way that men compete as active aggressors. It seems that the mating ideal for a woman is to be able to attract the man she wants without actually going after him, and not being able to do this is counted as a mark against her.

As for why that is... women might use this stigma to keep sexual rivals in check, and since the rule of thumb is men = aggressive women = passive, men might misinterpret an aggressive woman as a desperate woman, which they would link with a lack of confidence, which is a turn-off for either sex.

djchameleon

This is such an old school train of thought when it comes to dating. Does it still happen today sure unfortunately but it's definitely swinging to the side of guys not caring if they get asked out by the woman.

The only guys that truly care are the die hard traditionalists and ain't nobody got time for that these days.

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Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.

Cuthbert

I don't find this unreasonable but like Batty says, it's usually men asking for the date.

If you've agreed to go on the date then you're interested in that person so I think it's polite to offer to split the bill.