Mating & Ethnicity; Where do your preferences lie?

**Janszoon** · 12-23-2010, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batty

Yeah, seems to be no problems where I live, have heard of a few problems in Sydney though

How much racial diversity is there where you live?

crash_override · 12-23-2010, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

It's racism.

I'm happy to hear that you realize there's something wrong with it though. Acknowledging the problem is the first step.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrd00d

I've got no problem with any combination of two humans in love. No animals, no aliens, etc.

I was going to say similar. It's not your fault, guy. We've grown up in a country that subtly, and sometimes not subtly, sends out images of fear. Stereotyping the black race with the news, the tv shows like COPS, movies, and a handful of rap artists... To me, your statement reinforces this belief I have. You seem to have resisted the hatespeak, but they got a foot in the door on the 'black issue'.

It is racism, sort of. It's fearmongering, quietly. You've seen and met many normal, good-natured African-American people and you've seen obnoxious, loud, and potentially destructive people of all walks of life. Black male. Scary. Right? Wrong.

I work at a gas station in the Sacramento area. It's about 25 minutes out from Sac. It's a predominantly Hispanic and white town. When a ghetto-dressed black man comes in to the store, swaggerin, grill in mouth, mean muggin... I get that feeling that you get. I know better. My best friend is black my cousin married a black man and they're raising a family together. Something has been engrained in us. I've never felt that way from an Asian person. Hispanic, maybe. White, yea. Everybody is roughly the same. We are all people. What do I do? I let the adrenaline subside, the thoughts of how to defend myself, and approach these folks as I would any other friend, little old lady, or anybody. Polite, crack a joke, be sincere. You can't fake sincerity well, either. If you don't notice a difference between when they came in and when they left, maybe they're unhelpable. Or maybe they didn't believe you truly were real with them. Even if you are! I see it both ways. If I was him, I'd be thinking "Why's he being so mellow? Most white people won't even look me in the eyes."

It's an act. Most people who hurt act all day. The world's a stage, indeed. Wise words.

Break the mental slavery. Some people have it a whole lot worse. Some people are so afraid of colored people, they've never had a sincere moment to connect with anyone different. So they never fix their broken stereotype. At a certain point, you won't change your mind without an epiphany...

But real quick... You'd imagine if you were deathly hateful towards colored people and a colored person saved your life. Would you or would you not change the way you felt? I've seen/heard stories where after the fact, the helper gets shat on. And the stereotype lives on. It's absurd.

This is representative of many minds in America^

I think maybe what I posted was taken a little out of context. I have no problem with people of any race individually. It's only when I see a black man with a white woman that I feel those things. I can be friends with African Americans and people of any race for that matter with no problem, and I try my best not to judge people before I get to know them a little. It has nothing to do with direct racism (i.e. Saying "I hate *insert race here*..."), it's just something to do with the sight and/or the thought of the whole thing that gives me those feelings.

I guess maybe this is the one instance that my subconcious brings out some deep seeded form of racism or something, but I'm certainly not doing it knowingly, and that's borderline frightening.

**Janszoon** · 12-23-2010, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crash_override

I think maybe what I posted was taken a little out of context. I have no problem with people of any race individually. It's only when I see a black man with a white woman that I feel those things. I can be friends with African Americans and people of any race for that matter with no problem, and I try my best not to judge people before I get to know them a little. It has nothing to do with direct racism (i.e. Saying "I hate *insert race here*..."), it's just something to do with the sight and/or the thought of the whole thing that gives me those feelings.

I guess maybe this is the one instance that my subconcious brings out some deep seeded form of racism or something, but I'm certainly not doing it knowingly, and that's borderline frightening.

I get what you're saying but it's still racism. It doesn't make you a bad person, it just means that something in your environment or upbringing gave you an unconscious racist reaction to that situation. The fact that you recognize it, realize that it's irrational and not a good thing is what makes you a good person.

RVCA · 12-23-2010, 08:41 PM

Everyone is a bit of an Aversive Racist

Ska Lagos Jew Sun Ra · 12-23-2010, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RVCA

Everyone is a bit of an Aversive Racist

Technically, we wouldn't have preferences if we didn't.

**Janszoon** · 12-24-2010, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skaligojurah

Technically, we wouldn't have preferences if we didn't.

I prefer pepperoni pizza to mushroom. That makes me racist?

Ska Lagos Jew Sun Ra · 12-24-2010, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I prefer pepperoni pizza to mushroom. That makes me racist?

No, but it makes you a filthy topping bigot!

Antonio · 12-24-2010, 01:14 PM

Well, I don't really have the strongest ties to my cultural heritage (I don't hate it or anything, just that I'm as embedded into), so dating someone of a different ethnicity, as long as they're not trying to force things down my throat. As long as we can get along with each other, I'm good. I've been attracted to a number of women from different ethnicities, although admittedly I do find myself attracted moreso to white women, hehe.

I don't find that much of an issue with dating someone if the main difference is visual(i.e. skin color) either. both my parents are Dominican, but my mother has much darker skin than my father.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrd00d

I was going to say similar. It's not your fault, guy. We've grown up in a country that subtly, and sometimes not subtly, sends out images of fear. Stereotyping the black race with the news, the tv shows like COPS, movies, and a handful of rap artists... To me, your statement reinforces this belief I have. You seem to have resisted the hatespeak, but they got a foot in the door on the 'black issue'.

It is racism, sort of. It's fearmongering, quietly. You've seen and met many normal, good-natured African-American people and you've seen obnoxious, loud, and potentially destructive people of all walks of life. Black male. Scary. Right? Wrong.

I work at a gas station in the Sacramento area. It's about 25 minutes out from Sac. It's a predominantly Hispanic and white town. When a ghetto-dressed black man comes in to the store, swaggerin, grill in mouth, mean muggin... I get that feeling that you get. I know better. My best friend is black my cousin married a black man and they're raising a family together. Something has been engrained in us. I've never felt that way from an Asian person. Hispanic, maybe. White, yea. Everybody is roughly the same. We are all people. What do I do? I let the adrenaline subside, the thoughts of how to defend myself, and approach these folks as I would any other friend, little old lady, or anybody. Polite, crack a joke, be sincere. You can't fake sincerity well, either. If you don't notice a difference between when they came in and when they left, maybe they're unhelpable. Or maybe they didn't believe you truly were real with them. Even if you are! I see it both ways. If I was him, I'd be thinking "Why's he being so mellow? Most white people won't even look me in the eyes."

It's an act. Most people who hurt act all day. The world's a stage, indeed. Wise words.

Break the mental slavery. Some people have it a whole lot worse. Some people are so afraid of colored people, they've never had a sincere moment to connect with anyone different. So they never fix their broken stereotype. At a certain point, you won't change your mind without an epiphany...

But real quick... You'd imagine if you were deathly hateful towards colored people and a colored person saved your life. Would you or would you not change the way you felt? I've seen/heard stories where after the fact, the helper gets shat on. And the stereotype lives on. It's absurd.

This is representative of many minds in America^

truer words have never been spoken

12-23-2010, 08:41 PM	#54 (permalink)
RVCA （￣ー￣） Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,270	Everyone is a bit of an Aversive Racist