Originally Posted by Tea Supremacist (Post 885623)

Nobody's reason for feeling like that is any more or less justified than the next person. Some people's brain just work in different ways to others. And tbh I've always suffered from depression, I was just unfortunate in having an event that made it worse, that's all.

Pulling yourself together is easier said than done no matter what the situation. As much as I have a lot of support, it's still quite a bit easier to talk to people out of the loop sometimes, so to speak. As mentioned, having a rant on the internet, no matter how self pitying you feel doing it, can be a good thing.

Originally Posted by Unchained Ballad (Post 885653)

You're quite right.

Have you really just given up, though? Settled with the idea that however good your life is going to be, you're always going to be disappointed and/or miserable?

Originally Posted by Tea Supremacist (Post 885659)

Perhaps not given up totally. Just got used to the fact that this is who I am and there's not much I can do to change it. Don't get me wrong, I don't wallow around 24/7, there's good days and bad days. I've just learnt to deal with the inevitibility that the bad days won't ever go away, no matter what I do. I've always been a pessimist when it's come to myself though.

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali (Post 876920)

But in all seriousness, I have a bit of an anxiety disorder, but it's not overbearing. When I get used to situations, it's totally non-existent... but in new situations I'm not accustomed to or place importance on, especially where there are large groups of people involved, I'm overly anxious to the point of showing it physically.
I never noticed it until I had joined the military, so I'm not sure if that had something to do with it, but it's one of those things I worry about now because simple things like job interviews feel like they're going to be insurmountable because I want to be as relaxed as possible, which is when I'm my clearest and most articulate.
I think the more I worry about it, the worse the anxiety becomes... like a feedback loop... making things worse.
I don't want to go on meds, and I don't think I need them because I'm not debilitated in any way apart from just being self-critical in particular circumstances due to the anxiety, and I don't want the negative side effects of those types of drugs, but I don't really have any other options than to overcome the irrational fear which is A LOT harder than it sounds.

Originally Posted by Unchained Ballad (Post 885669)

Would you say you're optimistic when it comes to others?

Because I sort of have that feeling.

I'm a pessimist when it comes to myself too, and I really, really feel like telling you it's all going to be OK and that you can't give up and all that jazz, whilst knowing I'm not really following what I'm preaching.

Originally Posted by Tea Supremacist (Post 885676)

I know what you mean. It's a lot easier to feel bad for people and want to help them rather than helping yourself. I don't know if I'd say I'm optimistic towards others. I'm honest. And if I think they're just being p*ssies then I'll tell them. But because I (and sh*t loads of others here) know what it's like to go through bad depression I kind of have a sympathy towards those that are genuinely having a tough time. I'll never sit there and say "Don't worry, it'll all be fine" because it might not be. It might be something more than teenage angst or whatever, or, on the flip side, you might look back in a years time and think 'what the f*ck was I whining about?'. I'd rather just try and give something helpful for the short term and say 'try and keep your chin up'. It's a massive cliche but talking to someone, even if it's just to vent and you get no advice from it can be a big help. No matter who you're talking to. As long as it's someone patient enough just to listen.

And nobody ever practises what they preach!

Originally Posted by Unchained Ballad (Post 885682)

You're quite right, I don't even know what else to say.

Originally Posted by OctaneHugo (Post 886065)

I'm also an agoraphobic. I've grown up in this area my whole life, and I'm terrified to leave it ever. Started when I was about 10 or 11 and my parents got divorced - I remember my mom took me and my little sisters to visit relatives up north and I was just terrified for some reason, and ever since then any time I've had to leave this stretch of land (this city and the surrounding area down to the coast) I've been terribly nervous. It's curtailed in recent years, though the last time I went on any sort of trip was 2008.

Originally Posted by Tea Supremacist (Post 881316)

As anyone like this knows, you get good days, you get bad days. Tomorrow I might wake up and feel like I can do anything. Or I might wake up and want to stick my head in the oven. On those days, there's then the extra stress of putting on the game face so my mood doesn't affect everybody else.