Man banned from park after trying to have sex with a tree...
 

I had to post this, pretty darned funny! What next??? :love:

A man has been banned from a public park - after he allegedly tried to have sex with a tree.

William Shaw, 21, has been ordered by a court not to enter Central Park in Airdrie after claims he attempted to bonk the plant. It is alleged he dropped his trousers and underpants and exposed himself while in the visitor attraction in September last year. It is claimed he then tried to have simulated sex with the tree while his trousers were around his ankles. Shaw, of Airdrie, yesterday pleaded not guilty to an act of public indecency at the town's sheriff court.

Sheriff Frank Pieri released Shaw on bail - on the condition that he stays away from Central Park. Last night Shaw was unavailable to discuss the allegations at his flat. A neighbour said: "I have seen him about and he seems a quiet lad."

Shaw is due to stand trial next month. He was also accused of committing the offence while on bail for another matter from November 2007. It is not the first bizarre sex charge to hit the headlines in Scotland. In 2007 Steven Marshall, 19, admitted simulating sex with the pavement in Galashiels, Selkirkshire.In the same year Robert Stewart, 53, was caught by two cleaners having sex with a bicycle in his hostel room in Ayr.

Watch out for splinters!

Got wood?

"Daddy, where do baby trees come from?"

My word. I dont even know what to say about this.

Don't sweat it man...just don't do it again mmmkay?

Can I do anything without you fuckers posting about it?

Im sorry man. I feel ashamed really. Its just, you didnt see this tree...

Those leaves... Those fucking leaves!

OMG!

William Shaw... undoubtedly a direct relation to Charles Shaw

I've always been more of a bark man myself.

Leave it to the Scots...

They're all the same.

i'm surprised no one commented about the bicycle yet....uhh...how does that even work?

Well everyone on that island is crazy, scottish or not;)

I guess you could just ride it the normal way except you pull the seat out first.

that put a fairly disturbing image in my head...

The tree must have felt a bit stiff after that.

I ****ed a tree and I liked it
The taste of her cherry bark
I ****ed a tree just to try it
I hope my goat don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right...

LOL!!! Its gonna take me all day to shake that image!

http://i47.tinypic.com/307raxh.jpg...?

^ :rofl:

he was busting the trees chestnuts

rip captain caveman 1991-2010
suffocated by one liners

some reason that story reminded me of a Homer & Jethro song


rubbing sticks together

did he play safe was it a rubber tree, boom! boom!, or, maybe he was planning a treesome, last one, he said he couldn't see the nudes for the tree's, i'm outta here...........

Perhaps he was trying to create an Ent.

haha

I'm pretty sure Airdrie is in Scotland. Fuck me. I must come across as a monkey now.


I read this in the paper, last place I expected to read it was here...

Who in here is from New zealand?
Because I read a news story today that a New zealand man was caught at an airport with 44 live geckos and skinks in his underwear.


I bet that really tickled. They probably caught him because of excessive and suspicious Teehee's.

^ Yep, it was a German man and he was caught at Christchurch airport not long before I arrived there! They were concealed in a hand-made package (no pun intended) stuffed into his underwear. He was basically trying to steal the creatures and take them back to Germany.

He's going to spend 14 weeks behind bars and has a hefty fine. Records show that he's been in New Zealand almost twice yearly since 2001, so who knows how long he's been trying to hunt/smuggle protected wildlife out of New Zealand. Poor little things!

Oh hell naw! That's so hilarious.

Nooowww it makes sense.
Silly Germans.

it would be pretty sweet to be single handedly responsible for the introduction of a new species into a country, and one hell of a story to tell the grandkids.

You might then become single handedly responsible for the extinction of other species in that country ;) Ecosystems can be fragile.

What an ego booster!

He's gotten his fair share of morning wood, wouldn't you say? O__o

To be totally blunt, It's a hard dilema to be in, I mean it's better than having a woman bark at you for no apparent reason, which begs the question, should all men be branching off into other sources of sexual pleasure? It all stems from the man's family roots I guess.

But to be blunt again, I definitely wood shag a tree.