The Wow I Can't Believe That News Story Thread

[[MERIT]]

► Texas Senator Ted Cruz Introduces Legislation To Limit Congressional Terms


► Venezuelan Supreme Court Bans Opposition Leader Juan Guaido From Leaving The Country & Freezes His Bank Accounts

[Anteater]

Ted Cruz really rocks that goatee thing.

Originally Posted by Dharma & Greg

You're just mad cause your employees probably take 15-minute-long shits at work cause they're too busy trying to hook up on Tindr.

Nah probably Bumble or something.

Originally Posted by MicShazam

So what's Mueller been up to now? That silly old fascist. He probably painted swastikas on the orange man's laundry again.

I'm sure the guy who led America with Bush into the Iraq War based on #fakenews would never mess with someone else's laundry.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by windsock

tfw you've been sitting on a zinger for so long that you just throw it out when it's not applicable

More like I took two shits at work today and ate an Eggnormous burrito on the crapper the second time and I'm feeling particularly proud of myself.

[[MERIT]]

► Hubble Telescope Discovers A New Galaxy


► H.R. 2491: Virginia Delegate Kathy Tran Proposes Bill Allowing Full-Term Abortion


► Are CIA-Backed Mercenaries Spreading HIV In South Africa?


► National Popular Vote Interstate Compact: Colorado Senate Passes Bill To Award Their Electoral College Votes To The Winner Of The Popular Vote


► How The U.S. Trained Juan Guaido For Venezuelan Regime Change


► Venezuela To Fight U.S. Sanctions In International Courts


► 45 Of The 56 Children Murdered By The Israeli Military In 2018 Were Protesting In Gaza


► H.B. 371: Florida Looks To Censor Information About Israel & Palestine In Public Schools & Colleges


► U.N.: 535+ Civilians Killed In Congo Massacre


► U.N.: 60 - 100 Civilians Killed By Armed Groups In Nigeria


► The UAE Is Paying Ex-CIA Officers To Build A Secret Intelligence Network In The Persian Gulf


► 52 People Killed As 2 Boats Carrying Djibouti Migrants Sink


► U.S. Military Air Strikes In Afghanistan Kill 35 Civilians


► China Dumps $17.5 Billion Worth Of U.S. Treasuries


► International Criminal Court Judge Christoph Flugge Resigns After U.S. Threatens Him For Investigating Afghan War Crimes


► New Robot That Can Think For Itself Proliferates The Rise Of Self-Aware Machines


► Venezuelan Coup Leaders Ask U.S. For Weapons & Military Support


► Russia Allowed To Mine Gold In Venezuela


► U.S. Military Readies For Venezuelan Coup By Parking Troops & Equipment In Colombia


► U.S. President Trump Could Use 10 U.S. Code § 284 To Build Border Wall Without Congressional Approval


► Planned Parenthood Donated $3 Million To Virginia Governor Ralph Northam To Buy His Endorsement For Post-Birth Abortion


► 2 People Injured As Protester Runs In Front Of U.S. Presidential Motorcade


► Mexican President Obrador Announces End Of Country's War On Drugs


► Inside 'Wagner': Russia's Private For-Hire Paramilitary Group


► Russian MP Rauf Arashukov Arrested On Senate Floor For Ordering 2 Contract Killings


► Facebook Bribes Teens To Get Unlimited Access To Their Personal Information

[Psy-Fi]

Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam’s Yearbook Page Shows Blackface, KKK Outfit

[The Batlord]

Old military school guy. Yeah I'm going with racist fuckhead just off that.

[windsock]

Originally Posted by Psy-Fi

Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam’s Yearbook Page Shows Blackface, KKK Outfit

Lol at the gothic font

[Unitron]

He's so kvlt.

[[MERIT]]

► Boko Haram Attack Kills 60+ People In Nigeria


► U.S. Withdraws From Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty With Russia


► At-Home DNA Testing Companies Caught Secretly Sharing Data With The FBI

[Lucem Ferre]

I mean, the right to clean drinking water didn't exist until we found a way to get clean drinking water.

The right to bear arms didn't exist until we created arms to bear.

Makes sense.