The Wow I Can't Believe That News Story Thread

[Cuthbert]

Argentine FA's guide on chatting up Russian women this summer l The Guardian

There are more than a few concerns before next month’s World Cup in Russia: the threat of hooliganism, the country’s patchy record on LGBT rights, and the prospect of Russia playing Vladimir Putin at centre-forward. For officials at Argentina’s Football Association (AFA), however, the most pressing issue appears to be how to talk to women.

On Tuesday, the AFA held a course for players, staff and journalists about what to expect when they travel to Russia. Among the materials was a manual entitled Russian Language and Culture, which included a chapter on “What to do to have a chance with a Russian girl”. Anyone wanting a chance with a Russian man was left to figure things out for themselves.

Setting aside the obvious dubious morals of the whole exercise, it turns out that the manual’s author, Eduardo Pennisi, believes Russian women have the same standards as pretty much everyone else on Earth. Apparently, they like people who are “clean” and smell “good”.

In another stunning revelation, Russian women like to be treated as human beings. “Russian girls do not like to feel like objects,” reads a passage from the manual, translated into English by Deadspin. “Many men, because Russian women are beautiful, only want to take them to bed. Maybe they want it too, but they are people who want to feel important and unique. The advice is to treat the women who is in front of you with their own ideas and wishes. Pay attention to their values and personality. Don’t ask stupid questions about sex.”

Additionally, Pennisi advises Argentinian men to avoid printing out their bank statement on a first date. “Maybe you try to impress her by talking about the money you have, that you know everything, that you are perfect and the others are poor stupid people,” reads the manual. “In the end, if the girl has a little sense, she will bounce you. Be real and talk about you in real terms, talk about your faults in a fun way and about your positive points.”

The AFA soon realised they had made a mistake and issued a statement on Wednesday. “After an internal investigation in respect to yesterday’s events during the Russian Language and Culture course, it has been concluded that the materials distributed were incorrectly printed,” read the statement.

“The teacher in charge of the course chose information to give the assistants but regretfully at the moment of printing, because of an unforeseen error a text that was never part of the course was included. The administrative personnel of the department proceeded to remove it immediately. We regret that the error would have obscured the importance of the day’s lesson and the permanent educational activities given by AFA, and expressing our sincerest apologies to those affected by the publication, which in no way reflects the thoughts of the Argentine Football Association or its president Claudio Tapia or any of of his directions.”

Pennisi does not offer any advice on whether or not Lionel Messi should play in the false nine role at the World Cup.

[Ol’ Qwerty Bastard]

penissi

[grindy]

Quite the pennisy move.

[The Batlord]

Oh hey cool.

Senate Votes to Restore FCC Net Neutrality Rules – Variety

[Trollheart]

Hold on, hold on, I'm writing this all down. Now what was that? "Treat women as people". Interesting. Bold new ideas indeed. "Do NOT print out bank statement?" But ... well, I suppose it makes sense. "Smell ... nice?" Ah now that's just pushing it! European Court of Human Rights, my inalienable right to smell like a Bolivian unicyclist's jockstrap is being infringed! A few million euro in compensation, please! Yes, I'll take it in cash....

[OccultHawk]

I hate to be stereotypical but they look like such good parents. Shocking

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.was...officials-say/

[Mindy]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Oh hey cool.

Senate Votes to Restore FCC Net Neutrality Rules – Variety

[OccultHawk]

Threat case throws spotlight on hard choices for schools

BERWYN, Pa. (AP) — When 12-year-old Nora Nissenbaum told a boy from her class she wasn't interested in him anymore, he started texting her images of Adolf Hitler and insults such as "dirty Jew."

Nora's parents contacted her suburban Philadelphia middle school and police. Soon after, word spread that the boy had supposedly threatened to take a gun to class and target 33 people, including Nora.

How the **** could kicking this crazy little ****er out of school be a “hard choice”

His right to an education? You think that girl can learn with someone make death threats at her? It’s simple as ****. I mean Goddamn use some ****ing common sense. The kid’s a ****ing nut case.

And there’s an easy work around built into the system. The teacher gets on his **** raising his voice in close proximity which you’re allowed to do. Do it non-stop until he puts his hands on you. Charge him with assault. Grow a sac teachers. That’s what you do when a little girl gets picked on. You put the heat on yourself until you’ve weeded the garden.

Pussy ass bitches.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

I hate to be stereotypical but they look like such good parents. Shocking

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.was...officials-say/

I'll bet 10 kids from those psychos who went through all that will certainly become sane, functioning members of society.

[OccultHawk]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I'll bet 10 kids from those psychos who went through all that will certainly become sane, functioning members of society.

#chulastability