Synthgirl

I try my best to be nice and friendly as a default, I certainly don't intend to manipulate anybody. But I do understand radiating niceness as a sort of shield, I don't disagree. I guess I was just raised to be polite, and I admit I don't quite see the point in being intentionally mean or rude.

WWWP

I consider politeness/social norms to be entirely separate. That’s a matter of masking/code-switching. If I’m going to be interacting with people on a regular basis, like on a forum, it’s a litmus test of sorts to identify who I likely will or will not gravitate toward or want to get to know better.

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#DEMODFROWNLAND
#TERMLIMITSFORMODERATORS

The Batlord

... got any grey hairs yet?

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WWWP

Not a one. You still have hair?

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#DEMODFROWNLAND
#TERMLIMITSFORMODERATORS

Synthgirl

I get that. Personally I gravitate more toward people who are friendly toward me, but I understand and respect your view as well.

For me, there's too much hate and darkness in the world right now to not try to put forth positive energy in social situations.

Marie Monday

I think you're conflating politeness and a deeper kind of friendliness though. You can tease people or argue and bicker in good spirit without any underlying unfriendliness or bad feelings on either side, as long as you know what the other is comfortable with. It's still positive and makes social interactions more stimulating imo. It's the conversational equivalent of adding some spices to your food

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Synthgirl

Oh, I completely agree; friends being able to roast each other is a beautiful part of having a deeper connection of trust and a sign of a healthy and fulfilling friendship.

For me though I have a hard time thinking of posting on a public forum in the same way as hanging out with my friends IRL. It’s harder for me to get to know someone through open discussions conducted via text than it is to do so in an actual face to face conversation. But that’s a me thing, on principle I completely agree with you.

Marie Monday

It's harder for sure and I also do it less than irl. I know I've certainly misjudged what people can take before and I don't trust my social skills that much

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jadis

Trolls,

not to bully you or anything...

But when you say something like this to grown adults (I'm now talking outside the family circle), it comes across as the inability to listen. "Shut up and don't make me uncomfortable with this kind of talk so let's draw a curtain of false positivity on the whole thing" is what it really means.

Key

it's so fun when people make false equivalencies pertaining to things that other people said that have nothing to do with them personally etc. i see nothing wrong with what TH said but then again, I don't look for an argument at every corner.