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WWWP 11-19-2023 06:27 PM

I consider politeness/social norms to be entirely separate. That’s a matter of masking/code-switching. If I’m going to be interacting with people on a regular basis, like on a forum, it’s a litmus test of sorts to identify who I likely will or will not gravitate toward or want to get to know better.

The Batlord 11-19-2023 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWWP (Post 2235743)
Certainly. Insecurity and fear of rejection = people-pleasing or people-pushing away. Both are forms of manipulative behavior.

... got any grey hairs yet?

WWWP 11-19-2023 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 2235748)
... got any grey hairs yet?

Not a one. You still have hair?

Synthgirl 11-19-2023 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWWP (Post 2235747)
I consider politeness/social norms to be entirely separate. That’s a matter of masking/code-switching. If I’m going to be interacting with people on a regular basis, like on a forum, it’s a litmus test of sorts to identify who I likely will or will not gravitate toward or want to get to know better.

I get that. Personally I gravitate more toward people who are friendly toward me, but I understand and respect your view as well.

For me, there's too much hate and darkness in the world right now to not try to put forth positive energy in social situations.

Marie Monday 11-20-2023 12:11 AM

I think you're conflating politeness and a deeper kind of friendliness though. You can tease people or argue and bicker in good spirit without any underlying unfriendliness or bad feelings on either side, as long as you know what the other is comfortable with. It's still positive and makes social interactions more stimulating imo. It's the conversational equivalent of adding some spices to your food

Synthgirl 11-20-2023 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday (Post 2235753)
I think you're conflating politeness and a deeper kind of friendliness though. You can tease people or argue and bicker in good spirit without any underlying unfriendliness or bad feelings on either side, as long as you know what the other is comfortable with. It's still positive and makes social interactions more stimulating imo

Oh, I completely agree; friends being able to roast each other is a beautiful part of having a deeper connection of trust and a sign of a healthy and fulfilling friendship.

For me though I have a hard time thinking of posting on a public forum in the same way as hanging out with my friends IRL. It’s harder for me to get to know someone through open discussions conducted via text than it is to do so in an actual face to face conversation. But that’s a me thing, on principle I completely agree with you.

Marie Monday 11-20-2023 12:28 AM

It's harder for sure and I also do it less than irl. I know I've certainly misjudged what people can take before and I don't trust my social skills that much

jadis 11-20-2023 03:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart (Post 2235745)
You're not broken Steph, unless you mean you've broken the mould. You're awesome and everyone loves you.

Trolls,

not to bully you or anything...

But when you say something like this to grown adults (I'm now talking outside the family circle), it comes across as the inability to listen. "Shut up and don't make me uncomfortable with this kind of talk so let's draw a curtain of false positivity on the whole thing" is what it really means.

Key 11-20-2023 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jadis (Post 2235756)
Trolls,

not to bully you or anything...

But when you say something like this to grown adults (I'm now talking outside the family circle), it comes across as the inability to listen. "Shut up and don't make me uncomfortable with this kind of talk so let's draw a curtain of false positivity on the whole thing" is what it really means.

it's so fun when people make false equivalencies pertaining to things that other people said that have nothing to do with them personally etc. i see nothing wrong with what TH said but then again, I don't look for an argument at every corner.

The Batlord 11-20-2023 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWWP (Post 2235751)
Not a one. You still have hair?

Not after I shave my butt hair.


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