It's the news

Key · 11-19-2023, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I... don't get it?

Trollheart · 11-19-2023, 10:15 AM

Ah right. Never watched it.

From the Irish Times:

Last one to leave Ireland, please switch off the lights
Extract: Catherine Dunne’s An Unconsidered People on emigration’s rise and fall

WWWP · 11-19-2023, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday

Being bullyable doesn't equal being genuinely friendly though. It's more about how thin your skin is

I don’t disagree - but I thickness of skin relates more to how you handle the bullying, at least initially. Of course real bullies will lock in on thin-skinned targets, but those of us just in it for the sport aren’t actually out to hurt feelings.

Correlation does not equal causation, but there is certainly a link when it comes to scd lol. Also, calling them genuinely friendly ass dorks is not a stab at them, but rather at myself. It is I that is broken, we know this.

**Marie Monday** · 11-19-2023, 03:07 PM

Oh absolutely. I think that friendliness doesn't even exactly determine who gets 'picked out' though. Anyway the discussion reminded me of a time when Hawk defended his own belligerent behaviour by claiming that it's either bullying or being bullied, I think that's a trap some people fall into with the 'bullied people are too nice' mentality

WWWP · 11-19-2023, 04:17 PM

No not at all. Softness sure, but not friendliness. But presenting yourself as someone oozing warmth certainly invites a second look when choosing who gets poked at. It’s the law of the niceness as weakness spectrum.

jadis · 11-19-2023, 04:21 PM

There are people for whom being nice is a transaction: I'll be nice to you because I can't handle the frightening ambiguity of human relations (we never know what the other truly thinks), the possibility of irreciprocity and rejection, the likelihood of not getting the kind of reflection of yourself projected back to you that you'd like to get. So I need to control the environment by being really ****ing nice preemptively.

People who are preemptively rude to everyone are doing something similar btw. I've had plenty of students whose default behavior was some kind of belligerence and it too stems from deep seated insecurity.

**Marie Monday** · 11-19-2023, 04:43 PM

Yeah that's all true

WWWP · 11-19-2023, 04:48 PM

Certainly. Insecurity and fear of rejection = people-pleasing or people-pushing away. Both are forms of manipulative behavior.

Key · 11-19-2023, 05:30 PM

Insecurity is my middle name

Trollheart · 11-19-2023, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWWP

I don’t disagree - but I thickness of skin relates more to how you handle the bullying, at least initially. Of course real bullies will lock in on thin-skinned targets, but those of us just in it for the sport aren’t actually out to hurt feelings.

Correlation does not equal causation, but there is certainly a link when it comes to scd lol. Also, calling them genuinely friendly ass dorks is not a stab at them, but rather at myself. It is I that is broken, we know this.

You're not broken Steph, unless you mean you've broken the mould. You're awesome and everyone loves you.

11-19-2023, 10:15 AM	#92 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Ah right. Never watched it. From the Irish Times: Last one to leave Ireland, please switch off the lights Extract: Catherine Dunne’s An Unconsidered People on emigration’s rise and fall __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

11-19-2023, 04:21 PM	#96 (permalink)
jadis Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2021 Location: dont ask Posts: 1,360	There are people for whom being nice is a transaction: I'll be nice to you because I can't handle the frightening ambiguity of human relations (we never know what the other truly thinks), the possibility of irreciprocity and rejection, the likelihood of not getting the kind of reflection of yourself projected back to you that you'd like to get. So I need to control the environment by being really ****ing nice preemptively. People who are preemptively rude to everyone are doing something similar btw. I've had plenty of students whose default behavior was some kind of belligerence and it too stems from deep seated insecurity.

11-19-2023, 05:30 PM	#99 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	Insecurity is my middle name