Dolly Parton Fan Club
 

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Dude, seriously, there's no Dolly Parton thread. At all. **** this site.

I was too high to remember just why I decided to listen to Dolly for the first time a few days ago, but I'm now totally sold and kind of in non-sexual love (unless we're talkin' sexyass 70s Dolly). She was one of the trinity of female 70s country artists, along with Loretta Lynn and Tammy Wynette, but I think that she actually had a lot more diversity than either of the those two (although I ****ing love Loretta) and had at least a few albums that were actually more than just padding around a couple singles.

Not to mention that she's one of the most delightful, absurd, and just plain likeable celebrities in history. Her self-deprecating humor and awareness of just how ridiculous her plastic surgery mishaps are would make her a national treasure with or without her fantastic music.

So quit ****ing around and get into the country, boob, and wig goddess that is Dolly Parton.

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We knew you'd be on board.

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I don't need your pity woot.

My Music Appreciation class used "And I Will Always Love You" as an example for melismatic vocals today. I'm sure that'll make your day Batty, I was thinking of you the entire time.

Enlighten me?

Dolly's or that bitch Whitney Houston's version?

I personally always found Dolly's vocals a little more...alive.

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Totally. Dolly's all emotion, Whitney's all pipes.

Both but she claimed she preferred Dolly's.

Bunch of notes on one syllable.

I'd **** your professor.

I'd **** my professor, and I might have to if he's mad about me missing my first class.

He's mad. But worry not, he'll be glad once he meets you. May even give you extra credit for skipping in the future.

I'll finger his butt while you suck him off. He couldn't possibly be mad after that.

Yes

well not everybodys into butt stuff the way you are, batlord.

That's not what your father said last night.

liar, my mom doesn't **** gays :-)

Your mom? I'm talkin' bout your dad, sweet cheeks.

oh god. i did not need that, thanks.

Did I just out gay you?

no, you just grossed me out. as you usually do.

You don't like to think about sweat running down my face into the small of your father's back, my fist clenched in his hair and yanking his head back so he has to look me in the eye while I ram him like a jackhammer?

If you're in the image, no one likes to think about it.

Shut the **** up, ****, or I'll cornhole your dad next.

no, i don't like the idea of rape :-(

Can't rape the begging.

anyway if you weren't talking about my dad, your post would have probably made me hard. you should start writing gay erotica, you know the kind that moms like to read.

I would rather read gay erotica than one more page of the stupid ****ing Iliad.

here you go, this might involve ****ing gay dinosaurs?

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lol@ chuck tingle

That makes me want to watch a gay Jurassic World with Chris Pratt. Can't be any worse than the actual movie anyway so might as well exist.

Do we really want to see the guy from Parks and Rec being anally penetrated by a velociraptor? Don't answer that.

I know you didn't ask for an answer but...






























Yes.








Although I imagined it being the other way around.