MicShazam

How does that work? Will I get paid?

grindy

You get paid in attention and about 5% of the recs being actually good.

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A smell of petroleum prevails throughout.

Key

That's a good deal tbh

MicShazam

Sounds good, but there's always some small writing that comes back to haunt you later.

Trollheart

The problem I see is that either Batty will ignore this thread or will come in acting as if he's the victim, as he has already done. As I've said, sure that joke (let's call it a comment: it's nowhere close to a joke and it's not even remotely funny) might have passed under the radar if we had been trading insults. But we weren't. It came out of nowhere. This is actually a decent analogy of what happened.

Two guys who are always pulling each other's chains meet. One guy thumps the other on the shoulder and goes "How are ya, ya big homo? Ain't see you in days!"
The other turns and smacks him over the head with a chair.

Only one response to this: wtf?

But even if the comment might have been acceptable (it really wasn't, but I can see how he might have thought it would be ok), once I said no, it isn't, you've gone too far, he should have stopped. And Frownland, as a mod, should have told him to knock it off. Neither thing happened, which is why I'm so angry. The last comment from Batty was last night, demanding an apology from me and even setting a deadline!

Let this be very clear: I do NOT want him banned. I'm not a dick. Well, I am, but, you know, not over this. I don't really even expect an apology, that's not him. But this HAS hurt our relationship/friendship, not because of the comment per se, but because of his intractability about it when I made it clear it was not ok. That's between us though. I just want to know that when this happens again (and it will) to me or to anyone else, by him or anyone else, the mods will actually take action, and not just wag a finger while grinning behind their hands. It's very disheartening to find that that is the attitude of at least one mod.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

1. I said nothing about your sister after you made it clear you didn't appreciate it so quit playing the victim like I ignored your request for me to not say anything about her.

2. You have openly said in the past that it didn't bother you when I made similar jokes so afaic I was playing by previously established rules.

3. You don't get an apology for arbitrarily changing your stance and then dishonestly acting like that's the way it always was. If you just told me that you didn't appreciate that particular joke I would have been to acknowledge it and make sure we were okay. As it stands now all you get is my acceptance of the new status quo.

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Frownland

I did tell him to knock it off, TH.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

Key

It's also already been unanimously decided that we can no longer joke about TH's sister.

I'd say we leave it at that and call it good. Anything TH and Bat have to say should just be in PM as it was those two involved. Just my two cents.

Trollheart

1. You didn't say anything specific about her but you went on and on about how you're "allowed" to do so. You're not allowed. I accepted that was how you were, didn't want to seem too thin-skinned, and you never went that far before.

2. See 1. The rules don't mean you can go too far. Also there were no rules as per above. Remember the crashed car analogy? That's you. Just because I let you say certain things doesn't mean I won't eventually take offence when you push it too far.

3. I don't want your apology as it would be forced and insincere, but you should know we are no longer friends. You let me down, big time, and that hurts. You don't care, which hurts more. Anyway, I'm done with you. Let's just see each other at funerals and weddings and leave it at that.

4. Another mod would have banned you, you know they would. You're lucky you are you who are and he is who he is, and that no other mod was present. But that's you I guess. You'll continue to push the limits till finally someone has had enough of you, and I hope it's a mod, and you get what you deserve.

Edit: it would have been so simple to defuse this. You could have just stood back and said sorry man I went too far. But you don't want to act like a man, just like a spoiled child who wants to be able to do anything he wants, and stamp your foot when you're called out on it.I really thought better of you than that.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Frownland

This is the context that I was referring to earlier. When you allow it in some cases, it can be hard to know where to draw the line. That's why The Batlord got a warning and not a ban. He didn't know where you considered the line to be and thought he was safe.

But it's not something that's going to happen again now that you've made it clear where the line is, so move on ey?

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.