If You Want To Know Why The Spill Your Guts Thread Was Closed Read On

[Urban Hat€monger ?]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

But if the mods are specifically talking about some of the **** I've been saying recently as what needs to stop, then by all means, I'll tone it down. I'd just some clear guidelines. Faggot's off limits? Fine. But is it unacceptable to insinuate that Pet_Sounds is gay as a friendly jibe, even if he doesn't take offense? Can I not call Roxy a "flat-chested beaner", even if it makes her laugh? Your (Urban's) "suggestions" are kind of vague. Other people might not have to worry about pushing any envelopes, but it's pretty easy to guess that some of this might be directed at me, at least partially. If so, I need specifics. Seriously.

We just want it toned down a little, that's all. By all means call Roxy a flat chested beaner or whatever, but just do it once. don't repeat it in every thread or turn the time you do call her that turn into a 20 page drama about some unrelated topic and then come back again the next day and do the same thing again.
If you want to have conversations where you just want to rip each other new ones do it in the shoutbox, that's what it was put there for.
We're fine with a bit of it in the Lounge but it's getting to the point where it needs to be scaled back a bit.

As for faggot: well that depends on everybody else. I'd rather you didn't use it but that's a personal opinion not a moderating one simply because if anyone does use it I know I'll have to step in at some point. And also I don't think it looks good to new people joining if it's used freely.

If people genuinely find it offensive and complain about it's use then we will take action, but as for now what I think isn't really relevant, I would ask you ask yourself why you'd want to use it knowing people find it inflammatory and it could cause trouble.

[YorkeDaddy]

And now I'm trying to imagine a scenario where Jans would make a dead baby joke

Seems highly improbable

[GuitarBizarre]

Originally Posted by RoxyRollah

Bat I don't think its you.Everyone knows you and I fully believe that if there was an issue with your brand of humor thered be a pm for you to knock it off.Same with me.Rather I think it becomes a problem when it becomes 20 pages of rape jokes by ppl who dont have a filter and want to top eachother.Regardless you have a filter and you use it.I can tell after 2 years reading your posts.Same as me.Now wheter you admit you have one or not is well another thing.

Its not the 20 pages of topping each other. The problem starts loooooong before that, at the point people start taking liberties with their conduct that they've seen others get away with, without understanding why they were let slide.

[GuitarBizarre]

Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy

And now I'm trying to imagine a scenario where Jans would make a dead baby joke

Seems highly improbable

Which is exactly why we'd let it slide - We know Jansz wouldn't make a joke like that unless he was confident it was witty enough, or lent enough to making his point, to take the risk. And it is a risk. And thats how people should treat it when they decide to be off-colour.

[Key]

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

We just want it toned down a little, that's all. By all means call Roxy a flat chested beaner or whatever, but just do it once. don't repeat it in every thread or turn the time you do call her that turn into a 20 page drama about some unrelated topic and then come back again the next day and do the same thing again.
If you want to have conversations where you just want to rip each other new ones do it in the shoutbox, that's what it was put there for.

This definitely makes a lot of sense. I'm guilty of doing the same thing especially with Batty where we'll go one on one with each other in one thread, and it continues in another. I see no problem with toning that down. Batty and I were in the shouty last night and it was a good time.

[Soulflower]

The funny thing is you wouldn't want anyone to ignore your posts but you feel so entitled that you ignore other peoples post and dismiss them when you realize you are wrong.

But I guess its okay to do that with me because I am "Soulflower" after all and nothing I say is never right or matters to this forum. You have a lot of nerve to sit here and act like you get criticized daily when people do nothing but kiss your ass here but as soon as someone criticizes you all of a sudden "You can't do nothing right." You are beyond arrogant

I hope other independent thinking posters like Oriphiel will continue to give you honest constructive criticism because that is honestly what you really need (although you don't want to hear it and you misinterpret it as attacking when I have been objective this entire time).

This clique and group thinking mentality of this board is not helping you with that because they all tell you what you want to hear

Not once have I disrespected you but you now want to act immature and ignore my posts because you don't want your flaws to be put on display for all to see, fine.

But dont sit and argue that you are interested in hearing criticism and other peoples perspectives when clearly you are only interested in people giving you appraisals and agreeing with you. When a little challenge comes your way you back out because you don't want to put in effort in accepting critique because you are to close minded to hear anything besides "Urban is the best or Urban does his job"


You need to be challenged in order to grow as a moderator. It doesn't matter how long you have been here and quite frankly doesn't justify your lack of leadership here. If anything, more should be expected of you since you have been here longer.

But anyway, you have clearly shown your true colors as a moderator and you have shown once again with your actions all I need to know.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

If people genuinely find it offensive and complain about it's use then we will take action, but as for now what I think isn't really relevant, I would ask you ask yourself why you'd want to use it knowing people find it inflammatory and it could cause trouble.

Like I said, I try to gauge the forum's environment as a whole. The issue of using that word in any context was never really addressed before, so I had no way to know how it would be received even as just a well-placed one-off. Recent developments however have shown that the odd use of "faggot" in a limited context doesn't seem to cause problems (it was JWB's tactless use of it, and his reputation for stirring **** up that caused all the drama), so I rolled with it.

It's not like I'm now going to start throwing it around with assumed impunity, but I judged that the time and place had made it comedically relevant in a topical way, and being me I wasn't about to let the opportunity go to waste. Still, I judged that even without this new edict the time for its acceptability, or at least comedic value, would have been short-lived, and therefore I was prepared to drop it once the "trend" had run its course. I'm not emotionally tied to making homophobic jokes, so if the "Age of Faggot" is now over it's no skin off my nose. I'm a tongue-in-cheek troll whose desire is to annoy, but not to actually offend (Unless of course you're a wannabe social crusader who I feel is just begging to have your nipples twisted.)

Of course in a perfect world I'd love to be able to use any joke I pleased, no matter how offensive, but even if I think this forum can be a bit oversensitive and touchy-feely for my taste, I still love its general atmosphere far more than many, more un-PC forums populated by legitimately bigoted white male twenty-somethings who bitch about feminism and whatnot. I was briefly a member of a comic book forum a little while ago, but male nerd culture can be repulsive at times, and so I never had any desire to make it my new go-to forum. Here I sometimes butt heads with more "comedically conservative" members, but there all of a sudden I felt like a mini-Sansa. It made me feel dirty.

[Oriphiel]

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

If you don't want to make an effort then don't.

You've been here for a cup of coffee and now you're telling me how things are with a guy I've worked alongside for almost a decade?

There's been plenty of times when I've been asked to do stuff, gone to the mod forum to seek clarification only to be told it's not really an issue or we'll watch how things go for now or we'll act upon it. It makes no difference to me, that's my job here.

Like I said this is the first time the guy has ever suggested how we moderate anything, in 7 or 8 years. And like I said when he did that I took it seriously. He isn't my boss, he's the only contact we have with the owners.

You don't think that it's a very real possibility that they could pull the plug on this place?
It's already their least profitable forum, they would be totally justified in shutting it completely especially if people just gave up and place just became a shithole. So I apologise if you felt the first post was too strongly worded but I'm not going to apologise for the intention behind it.

Fair enough. You're right, i'm new here, and I really don't know your relationship with the owners and the other moderators. All I can do is go by what you tell me, and so far all you've told me is that you went to Yac for advice and he gave you the only kind of advice that someone in his position possibly could. To paraphrase, you asked him if the lounge could use improvement, and he said "Yeah, I guess it could", which is what a boss is always inevitably going to say. You can't blame me for being kind of mad when you cited this "advice" of his as orders from the owners, which is kind of a really disrespectful thing to do to us. If you personally have a problem with the way things are, and you have Yac's approval to clean things up, all you have to do is say so. You can trust us to listen to you, because you're a good guy and we respect you. Just express what you have a problem with, instead of playing things up to try and shock us into being good, as if we're children that won't play nice unless we think that the owner's are actively trying to punish us.

I'm sorry if i'm just making things worse, and honestly you can feel free to not respond to my post since we'll probably just be going back and forth, I just wanted to put that out there and get it off my chest. I'm just kind of mad that it took Soulflower probing into your vague choice of words to get you to give us the whole story, instead of you just trusting us and being upfront with us from the get go. I'll try to be less of a troll from now on, but i'm not going to do it because i'm afraid that the owners are going to swoop down and smash me with a Mjolnir-esque banhammer. I'll do it because I respect you and understand the frustration that your job entails, and because it's legitimately the right thing to do at the moment to clean things up for the next few weeks to off-set all of the hate and spamming that's been going around lately.

[GuitarBizarre]

Hoooooly hell Soulflower, how long are you going to dodge what I said?

[Key]

Originally Posted by GuitarBizarre

Hoooooly hell Soulflower, how long are you going to dodge what I said?

You probably want to get used to that since it seems like she's been dodging everything. She's focusing more on the negatives and not giving the constructive criticism a chance. I honestly don't understand most of what she's saying anymore because she keeps talking about Urban avoiding her questions yet i've seen him answer her questions multiple times. Same with you, she's askd questions and you've answered them, yet she feels that she's still being treated unfairly.

What i don't understand is why she came back after the long time she was gone, just to start an argument with the moderators and members here. Seems a little odd don't you think? I'm not saying I don't like that she's back, i'm saying she came back and instantly started an argument.