We've got a major problem...

Trollheart · 08-08-2013, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

That's what we do though.
The problem arises when you have to draw the line of when criticism of a member becomes abuse of a member and it seems everybody's opinion on this differs.

Let's say is Lisnaholic (because he's the least likeliest to do it) is constantly on your case all the time criticising everything you do on a regular basis. He's being irritating & rude and he's singling you out but he's not being abusive.
One day you get sick of this and say 'You're being an idiot, leave me alone' and he reports the post claiming you attacked him

If I infract or ban you I get the response 'Why is this person allowed to keep getting away with doing this'.

If I infract or ban him I get the response 'I was just making a point, he called me an idiot he should be getting punished.'

I do it to both of you I hear both these things. So no matter what the moderator does it's always the wrong thing in the eyes of the people involved.

That's the reality of what's going on here and it's happening more & more, and that's the kind thing that people need to moderate themselves over.

I totally understand how hard it is to do that, but I would just suggest some, if you will, redline issues that should be made clear are not acceptable. I know you can tell someone to **** off in many ways, some joking some not, but when you get constant abuse for every post you respond to from one particular member I think that member needs to be warned that this is not acceptable.

I'm not asking that anyone be wrapped in cotton wool, but the other side of the argument is that if you let it go on to see how it will develop then it can turn into something nasty. I know personally a line like "cut it out you two" or "watch it" from a mod in the middle of a heated debate would warn me to tone it back, though I am now actively trying to keep my temper (which would be laughable if you knew me in real life; I'm the most mild-mannered, quiet person you could meet!) and not be baited by certain posts, and when I go too far I've never been afraid to apologise.

Anyway, thanks for responding Urban and I actually disagree with the need for new mods. I think you all do a very tough job and the drama here can't be laid exclusively at your feet. New management as it were might have a cooling effect for some short time, but soon enough it would be a case of carry on as before and meet the new boss, same as the old boss. As many have pointed out, it's members who need to change, all of us, not mods. Or at least, not only mods.