djchameleon

such a trap but I will respond to it anyways because the other side of the coin is being misrepresented.

Why do you two feel like you are allowed to tell others how they should feel and what they should or shouldn't be offended by just because you aren't offended by something?

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Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.

Paedantic Basterd

I don't think the point is that we should control what we feel so much as we should control how we respond to it.

djchameleon

hmm okay.

I do think it's fine to let someone know that you were offended by something they said but as long as you don't attack the person for offending you in the process then it's fine.

What normally ends up happening is the person that did the offendening turns it into a "what's the big deal" type of argument and it snowballs from there.

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Fame, fortune, power, titties. People say these are the most crucial things in life, but you can have a pocket full o' gold and it doesn't mean sh*t if you don't have someone to share that gold with. Seems simple. Yet it's an important lesson to learn. Even lone wolves run in packs sometimes.

Paedantic Basterd

Granted, I haven't set such a good example as of late, but I do try to drop out of a conversation and stop being involved the moment I feel agitated by it. There's no way to say it without sounding like a preacher, but I think if more of us decided to drop heated-arguments, it'd be a more comfortable place for everyone.

sopsych

I think some drama happens because the music discussion isn't exciting enough, with there literally not enough good threads to divert time and attention from fight-filled threads. (I certainly don't excel at rising above drama and am not the ideal person to be arguing Duga's case.) I also think that VEGANGELICA made a good list of suggestions (and I appreciate the music compliment). My additions would be discouragement of sarcastic and rude replies and outright intolerance of that as done with pictures. I genuinely believe in training - maybe I'm trainable myself, baaah - and I think things would improve gradually.

That said, there are two major questions:
Are moderators willing to change their own behavior as pertains to drama? (If not, they should just admit it and complain less about having to handle the reactions or, yeah, stop dealing with it altogether.)
Do many people believe there is too much drama on this site? Someone should do a poll - but it darn well won't be this whipping boy.

Right now there's an impasse - avoiding the issue won't help, and it probably can't be won by fighting.

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Freebase Dali

I don't think this strategy is a revelation in terms of human behavior. The problem isn't that people don't know the best way to approach a situation, it's that we're emotional and impulsive, the lot of us. Suggesting that we all flip a switch and decide to act upon our better judgement is probably less reasonable in realistic terms.
If "peace" (in so many words) was an effective motivation, we'd never have gotten to this point to begin with.

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Paedantic Basterd

It seems to me that people truly believe they're responding appropriately in dramatic situations (though observers might disagree), and that kind of thinking can't be reasoned with. I'm not really going anywhere with this point, I'm just disheartened by every angle of discussion and quietly crying about it.

Key

Dude. Stop.

Astronomer

Not at all, I just think it sucks that people are upset and angered so easily. For their own sake, I think they would benefit from not taking some posts as seriously as they do to save the drama. I'm not one for telling them how to feel, but more letting them know that it's doubtful that any members here mean to attack anyone so they don't need to react so defensively and get so offended/upset at various "issues" so to speak. More so reassuring them that the members here are not malicious and attacking of anyone so there is no need to get worked up!

I didn't really want to get involved but I guess I have now, just goes to show that people take things way too seriously and react angrily when they respond to things with comments like "I give up, **** it" (Sorry Janszoon, I didn't mean to offend you in any way at all but obviously my post had you react in this manner The intentions of my post were not malicious or attacking in any way, in fact quite the opposite, yet it still prompts people to respond so defensively which makes me sad.)

I just hate that people are not happy with the situation and react so angrily/negatively/defensively to posts that shouldn't really be taken as offensive in any way. I'll just leave now, I hate drama!

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Janszoon

Here's the thing about being a mod: when you are one you don't get the privilege of just ignoring forum drama. It's actually part of your responsibilities to respond to it in some way if it's getting out of hand. So you can imagine the frustration that comes with the reality that, when you try to deal with it in one way or another, no matter what you do, someone is going to be on your case about it. It's absolutely the shittiest part of being a mod. And even shittier still is when someone you like and respect jumps on you about a decision you've made to try and keep the peace. That's the point where you want to just throw up your hands and say, "Fuck it. Why the hell am I volunteering for this?"

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