We've got a major problem...

Plankton · 08-08-2013, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

I'm not going to stick around to hash it out because I'm volunteering at the SPCA today, but for instance:

http://www.musicbanter.com/introduct...2-im-back.html

Four posts, all of them mocking, none of them welcoming this poster to the site, none of them asking her interests or attempting to start a conversation. The posts themselves aren't particularly harmful, but the impression all of them give together? And the mockery is based on... what exactly? Her username? Our first impression here is not overtly offensive, but it's not welcoming or interesting. And then we complain that people don't stay, after we make no effort to keep them?

My post was a legitimate question. This thread is just petty. Things change. They always will. If you want more music discussion then it's up to YOU to make it happen, instead of crying because things aren't the way you want them to be.

TheBig3 · 08-08-2013, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

Really? I thought mine was quite jovial.
She must have thought so too because the last time she was here she friended me on LastFM.

We all hate you. We just can't resist those god damn dimples.

Dr_Rez · 08-08-2013, 11:00 AM

Everyone seems to be complaining about the massive threads that continually go on in the lounge like it is a bad thing. It doesnt affect whats posted elsewhere...I actually very much enjoy those long political or religious threads. Yes this is a music forum and I could go elsewhere for them but why would I? I like the atmosphere and members here...

Every forum I am a member of is the same way. The Bodybuilding.com forums largest section is the Misc section. Do you know what the average threads about?...neither do I because it could be anything.

sopsych · 08-08-2013, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lateralus

misspoptart, 216, sopsych, ninetales and Paul smeenus are all new members who have posted in this thread yet low and behold, their posts tend to get left by the wayside for comments on veteran member posts, so it's a catch-22...

I've been here a few years - I don't consider myself new. Anyway, I noticed my comments were mostly disregarded and replies focused on points of disagreement. That echoes past experiences in this section and the Music section. The latter I agree is full of short, often off-topic answers and goes back to esoteric or bland topics - which I the provocative-subject generator personally could fix if I felt valued on this site.

But back to my idea from yesterday - is there a technical way to restrict new members from creating threads in The Lounge?

Paedantic Basterd · 08-08-2013, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plankton

My post was a legitimate question. This thread is just petty. Things change. They always will. If you want more music discussion then it's up to YOU to make it happen, instead of crying because things aren't the way you want them to be.

I'm just trying to point out the possible sources of complaints that were voiced early on. Someone mentioned that new members don't stay. I'm offering an explanation of why they may not.

And as for the bolded, in the past I have worked very, very hard for this community, and I have gone to great lengths to create forum events and topics to encourage discussion and a sense of community, but I did eventually tire of the work. The nature of album clubs, secret santas, and writing competitions involve work by everyone: those who create the events and those who participate in them. After the first year, I found that the participation declined past the point of value of the upkeep the threads required, so I wrapped them up.

Anyone is welcome to kick them back up again. It doesn't have to be a moderator, and for example, Chrysalis is starting a new album club which I think is a splendid idea. If anybody wants help starting a project, with the rules or graphics or whatnot, they are welcome to PM me, and I hope they know that.

**Janszoon** · 08-08-2013, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

I'm not going to stick around to hash it out because I'm volunteering at the SPCA today, but for instance:

http://www.musicbanter.com/introduct...2-im-back.html

Four posts, all of them mocking, none of them welcoming this poster to the site, none of them asking her interests or attempting to start a conversation. The posts themselves aren't particularly harmful, but the impression all of them give together? And the mockery is based on... what exactly? Her username? Our first impression here is not overtly offensive, but it's not welcoming or interesting. And then we complain that people don't stay, after we make no effort to keep them?

I see only one post in that thread that I'd even remotely consider to have mocking tone to it, and it was pretty light in tone. The rest sounded like a friendly welcom to me.

GuitarBizarre · 08-08-2013, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I see only one post in that thread that I'd even remotely consider to have mocking tone to it, and it was pretty light in tone. The rest sounded like a friendly welcom to me.

Not to mention the first post links to a 5 year old thread by the same person for the same reason where people reacted THE SAME WAY.

Plankton · 08-08-2013, 12:41 PM

*forehead smack*

FFS...

Trollheart · 08-08-2013, 01:13 PM

I'm perfectly prepared to offer an olive branch, as long as it doesn't get rammed up my ----! I don't like Ignoring (with a big I) anyone, and am quite happy to take Hermione/Sansa Stark/whatever off Ignore and try to engage more in topics with her BUT I won't be anyone's doormat. I don't like confrontation; I'm a quiet person by nature and just want peace in my life but you can only push me so far, and these things go both ways.

If my experiment works, great, but if I immediately, or quickly, begin getting snide comments, one-word answers, GIFs, memes or outright insults again then I'll expect one of two things to happen: 1) the behaviour should be and must be stamped down upon hard and without mercy. If I were insulting someone I would expect the same treatment, so it's not fair that certain people get more and more and more rope till they eventually hang themselves. I'm not saying ban on the first insult or whatever, but a warning should be issued, and if that warning is not heeded then a ban could follow.

My own personal experience with this particular member has been that I've felt like I was more or less fighting my own battle against her, while others --- mods --- let it go on and I don't know why. Maybe they thought it was funny, or not as serious as I felt it to be. Maybe they felt I deserved it, or had encouraged it in some way, and to be fair once or twice I had. But when someone completely out of the blue tells you to eff off when you weren't even communicating with them, I think that's where I have to draw the line. Oh yeah, option 2: I'll just put her back on Ignore.

I'm not asking anyone to take my side but if someone is being verbally bullied and the conversation is descending into insults, tirades and swearwords, then I think it's time for someone to take action. As I say, I'm prepared to make the first move, in this instance, but if my efforts fall on deaf ears I would appreciate some backup, or I'll just judge the thing as a failure and go back to the way I am now. I'm not asking for anyone to side WITH me AGAINST anyone, but I do feel that when a line is crossed then the mods should be swift to step in, particularly with someone who has had this problem before.

Like most people here, I don't want drama. If I want drama I'll watch TV. I just want to talk to people and discuss things, and if someone doesn't agree with me that's great: everyone has their opinion and I respect it, but they have to respect mine. If we can get to that point, then I think a lot of the fights and drama could be avoided.

Burning Down · 08-08-2013, 01:20 PM

This thread is not for singling out individual members just because they might be guilty of perpetuating drama or trolling people or whatever. It's for ways on how to curb the drama in the Lounge and get more music discussion happening.

08-08-2013, 11:00 AM	#143 (permalink)
Dr_Rez Registered Jimmy Rustler Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,360	Everyone seems to be complaining about the massive threads that continually go on in the lounge like it is a bad thing. It doesnt affect whats posted elsewhere...I actually very much enjoy those long political or religious threads. Yes this is a music forum and I could go elsewhere for them but why would I? I like the atmosphere and members here... Every forum I am a member of is the same way. The Bodybuilding.com forums largest section is the Misc section. Do you know what the average threads about?...neither do I because it could be anything. __________________ Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew Always Checks Credentials Crew nba > nfl crew Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew

08-08-2013, 12:41 PM	#148 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	forehead smack FFS... __________________ See location...

08-08-2013, 01:13 PM	#149 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	I'm perfectly prepared to offer an olive branch, as long as it doesn't get rammed up my ----! I don't like Ignoring (with a big I) anyone, and am quite happy to take Hermione/Sansa Stark/whatever off Ignore and try to engage more in topics with her BUT I won't be anyone's doormat. I don't like confrontation; I'm a quiet person by nature and just want peace in my life but you can only push me so far, and these things go both ways. If my experiment works, great, but if I immediately, or quickly, begin getting snide comments, one-word answers, GIFs, memes or outright insults again then I'll expect one of two things to happen: 1) the behaviour should be and must be stamped down upon hard and without mercy. If I were insulting someone I would expect the same treatment, so it's not fair that certain people get more and more and more rope till they eventually hang themselves. I'm not saying ban on the first insult or whatever, but a warning should be issued, and if that warning is not heeded then a ban could follow. My own personal experience with this particular member has been that I've felt like I was more or less fighting my own battle against her, while others --- mods --- let it go on and I don't know why. Maybe they thought it was funny, or not as serious as I felt it to be. Maybe they felt I deserved it, or had encouraged it in some way, and to be fair once or twice I had. But when someone completely out of the blue tells you to eff off when you weren't even communicating with them, I think that's where I have to draw the line. Oh yeah, option 2: I'll just put her back on Ignore. I'm not asking anyone to take my side but if someone is being verbally bullied and the conversation is descending into insults, tirades and swearwords, then I think it's time for someone to take action. As I say, I'm prepared to make the first move, in this instance, but if my efforts fall on deaf ears I would appreciate some backup, or I'll just judge the thing as a failure and go back to the way I am now. I'm not asking for anyone to side WITH me AGAINST anyone, but I do feel that when a line is crossed then the mods should be swift to step in, particularly with someone who has had this problem before. Like most people here, I don't want drama. If I want drama I'll watch TV. I just want to talk to people and discuss things, and if someone doesn't agree with me that's great: everyone has their opinion and I respect it, but they have to respect mine. If we can get to that point, then I think a lot of the fights and drama could be avoided. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

08-08-2013, 01:20 PM	#150 (permalink)
Burning Down The Music Guru. Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Beyond the Wall Posts: 4,858	This thread is not for singling out individual members just because they might be guilty of perpetuating drama or trolling people or whatever. It's for ways on how to curb the drama in the Lounge and get more music discussion happening.