Scarlett O'Hara

I have thought about this, I think that there are a lot of indirect and subtle insults being put out there and often it can be quite subjective to whether they are considered insults or not. I personally would like more of those posts brought to my attention through the report button and the team can make their own judgement on whether it is infraction worthy. There are some intelligent people out there who have a way of words to sound less insulting than perhaps they are intending. However there are also sensitive souls on Music Banter who might take a post as insulting or a personal attack when it might not have been the intention of the poster. If we thought this was the case we would perhaps then PM the accused poster and get their response to what they intended.

So you see, that is why reporting for us is really important. As Burning Down said, we don't check every single thread. I speak for most of us here when I say we just don't have the time too. And honestly, if I had to check every thread, every post, I would lose my enjoyment of this place very quickly.

Moral of the story: report it if you feel like another member has broken the rules, whether it be links in sig, an insult, or spam.

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Rjinn

Yea that's how we did it in Tales forums. We left a message in red explaining why it had been moderated to help members understand the way it work. We also PMed them informing why they had broken the rules. I thought it was a really good system.

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last.fm

Urban Hat€monger ?

I think they're very different.

If someone says to me 'stop acting like a prick' it has very different connotations to them saying to me 'you are a prick'.

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Rjinn

I think there is a difference between commenting on their actions than referring it to the actual person. You're not really implying that they're idiots but what they're doing is idiotic, or some kind of behaviour they "have" not "are" are deranged one way or another. That's why I think saying like and are aren't much different.

A little bit nit picky so it's not really a big deal I guess.

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last.fm

Trollheart

I think reputation also has to come into it. Everyone loses the head from time to time, but it should be accepted that we're all human (woops! Dropped my circuit board! BZZZT! Reboot.... Ah, where was I? Oh yes: KILL! DESTROY!) and will have the odd spat. Vanilla's expletive, my snipe at wisdom, others. They're not indicative of our usual behaviour, and while anyone should be rightly taken to task over any infraction, it shouldn't be made too big a deal of if it's a one-off and the person is known to be otherwise reasonable and polite.

Also, the relationship between the posters should be taken into account, if possible. Were I to say to Unknown Soldier "You're a total ****ing idiot, you know that?" I think he'd know I was messing, and the same to me: someone I know and respect tells me I'm am old fart who wouldn't know good music if it kicked me up the arse, I laugh, I don't report.

I would definitely counsel against a knee-jerk reaction, the "Mary Whitehouse" syndrome, where everything and anything gets reported, but if someone thinks someone is being genuinely nasty, then yes, report it.

Best idea of all though, treat each other with respect, or to quote Bill and Ted, "Be excellent to each other."

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Paedantic Basterd

In regards to insults, I think we're going to have more work to do if we're going to deal with insulting behaviour beyond the point of name-calling. Being offended is such a subjective thing. We have users who are overtly sensitive and will report someone they don't like for a slip of the tongue, and call it prejudice. We have users with such thick skins they can take the greatest of vile utterances. How do we, each with a subjective idea of a tolerance threshold, moderate the stimuli for feelings? Personally, I bet I'd read half the reports sent in and say "These people need to harden the **** up, it's just the internet", because that's my personal take on a reasonably mild insult that may have deeply upset someone else.


That seems like singling users out. If I'm going to discuss a user's behaviour with them, it's going to be private, inside PMs. It's nobody else's business if someone gets chastised. I'm not in to public shaming.

Guybrush

I don't see something like :

[Post moderated. Please try to discuss without insulting others.]

.. as shaming. I'm not suggesting you should be nasty to people.

Instead of worrying about how they feel, you can let those who write posts that warrant moderation take responsibility for and own up to the consequences for doing so.

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Something Completely Different

Paedantic Basterd

It's drawing public attention to someone in a negative way. That doesn't sit well with me. I would be humiliated if ever it were done to me. If the consensus from our users is that nobody minds, then I will of course participate, however, I find it more courteous to PM a person about their actions, which yields the same results in a more private and friendly manner.

Urban Hat€monger ?

I'd rather just give a quick & friendly 'knock it off' without taking any action. Once they've been told there's no excuse for them to continue it.

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Paedantic Basterd

I will admit I have been known to issue a "cut it out" in regards to multiple combatants.